Mob #5 - J.D. Wuz There
by Jessica Delfino
Flash Mob # 5 came and went yesterday, and I still don't really get it. We had to meet uptown on the Upper West Side, my least favorite part of Manhattan. We were given instructions that said we should walk to Central Park, and enter between 80th and 81st sts. The instructions were a bit more detailed than they've been in the past, and I was wondering if I can start to expect Flash Mob to start getting hard or something. Then it will be aloof and a pain in the ass - a great combination for success, seriously. Who doesn't love an asshole guy who will never love you back or a hot bitchy chick?
These were the directions to the site: Enter between 80th and 81st st, across from the museum. Make your first hard left, merge with another path, then turn left again. Walk to the right
in front of the ridge and face CPW.
If there hadn't been a mob of people leading the way, I wouldn't have known where to go. Luckily for me, there
was a mob of people leading the way.
If I had to give Flash Mob #5 a theme, I would say the theme was "hard[er than previous mobs before this one] work relating to nature or something." At 7:18, we were to stare straight forward and make very little noise, except for an occasional realistic bird call. At 7:21, we were allowed to make any bird call, realistic or otherwise. At 7:23, we could also mumble the phrase, "bird noise" and by 7:25, we could call out, "Nature Here! Come get some nature!" Then, finally, at 7:26, we were asked to chant, "Na-ture!" for twenty seconds, cheer, and then beat it.
Also, there were instructions asking us to please not take photographs at the mob site until 7:23, and to please not interview anyone until 7:26. I went with my friend David (see his account of Mob #5 at
) and he brought his video camera so that I could tape the mob if I wanted. When he read the instructions, he wouldn't let me video tape, even though there were so many other people there taking photos, taping, etc., including Channel 4, NY1, and some random ham radio operators or whatever.
We ended up getting into a little bitch match when I said, "Dude, just let me use your camera," and he was like, "No, it says not to on the slip." And I was like, "Fuck the slip, I wanna tape this shit." And he was like, "No, I'm not going to contribute to what the slip says not to do." And I was like, "Stop being a pussy," and he was like, "No, and don't ask me again."
It really pisses me off when people say things like, "No, and don't ask me again," or "End of discussion," or "Case closed," or other annoying cliches referring to them winning the argument whether they've actually won it or not. It's such a power trip move and it makes me feel like punching people and things. But later on in the park, we made up after I said, "We should smoke a joint," and he said, "No thanks," and I said, "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to Ludmilla (his friend who was with us) and those other people over there," as I pointed to two random gents. We all laughed and laughed, and ran home to write all about Mob 5 on our respective blogs.
Interestingly, as we walked the
"na-ture" trail, we saw not one but two big fat rats snacking on berries or tortilla crumbs or whatever. Thanks for bringing me together with nature, Mob #5.
Later today, David and I discussed the specific "No means no" comment and David said that he was recording the sounds of the blog (with the audio off) on his camera and hadn't wanted our argument to be recorded. I thought that would have been funny.
To hear the audio version of Mob #5, see
. I wish you could make out the argument we were having. It was meaningful to neither of us.
He wears slacks, I wear blue jeans, you know? He wears glasses because he's partially blind in one or both eyes, I'm not blind and I am more creative and in general a better person. We're just very different people.
This blog entry has turned more into a story about David and my friendship and less about Mob 5. Tune in to my next account of the next mob, where I start to talk about mob and end up telling you another sad story about one time how I was mistreated. By the way, it didn't say anything on the slip about where or when the next mob would be, like last time, so you'll just have to count on friends or enemies to tell you. I guess they want to try to keep it on the down under because it's getting too much attention and publicity and that is not what mob is about - It's about a bunch of people being in the same place at the same time for like, 8 minutes. And also nature - this time.
7Q's - NY
Were you at Mob # 5? If you were there, or even if you weren't but you're good at pretending, answer any 7 of the following mob-related questions and send your answers back to me. (Pretend you're still at Mob #5 while you're answering them.) Please send your replies to jessdelfino@yahoo.com. Also, include your first name (real or pretend) and your age (pretend only, please.)
Do your parents know you're here?
What's it like being Italian?
Do you ever fear for your life?
Do you love to watch the Sopranos?
Who's your favorite character on Sopranos?
Have you ever been to jail for a crime you "didn't" commit?
If the mob started trampeding, do you think you'd be one of the survivors?
Have you ever been to a running of the bulls?
Is this an attempt to quell your fear of crowds?
Would you say you tend to stand out in crowds?
Do you like that line in Kid Rock's song where he talks about crowds?
Have you ever seen Married To The Mob?
Do you like being told what to do?
Have you ever asked someone to stop telling you what to do?
What group or movement were you representing at mob?
Do you feel like the world owes you something?
