MY PUSSY IS MAGIC!
Lots of things are magical to lots of people. My pussy is one of those things to a person called, "me".
You can see what I mean by checking this video that Matt Davis made, featuring my new dance hit, "My Pussy Is Magic".
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Shows this Tuesday (tomorrow)
Hey, you've never seen me perform before, have you? Isn't it about time? I mean, Jesus, you live here - I live here. It's almost rude, really. We practically even know eachother or at least have mutual friends. My shows are usually free. I mean, I thought you were well-rounded.
Get this piece of Twilight Zone craziness: BOTH of my shows on Tuesday are at MO PITKINS! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Inner Monologues presents: HEROES & VILLAINS! Upstairs at Mo's
FREE! at 7:30 PM
Radical Vaudeville at 10 PM - UPSTAIRS!
Hey, you've never seen me perform before, have you? Isn't it about time? I mean, Jesus, you live here - I live here. It's almost rude, really. We practically even know eachother or at least have mutual friends. My shows are usually free. I mean, I thought you were well-rounded.
Get this piece of Twilight Zone craziness: BOTH of my shows on Tuesday are at MO PITKINS! Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Inner Monologues presents: HEROES & VILLAINS! Upstairs at Mo's
FREE! at 7:30 PM
Radical Vaudeville at 10 PM - UPSTAIRS!
Friday, September 22, 2006
Back In The Stink Capital of The World
Hi There anyone who happens to be reading this collection of thoughts and words from my disassembled mind. It's disassembled because I am just returning from a month long tour / vacation and I almost feel like all is right with my world. Here's a tip to anyone who likes tips: If you live in NYC, leave NYC, often and regularly. The tour with the Trachtenburgs was unbelievably fun and weird, except for the bad parts, of which there were few. Look for a photo diatribe regarding the tour, coming soon to this very blog. I ended it all with a week + relax-a-thon in Los Angeles after my last show, which was at the Troubadour in LA. I even performed in LA at Eddie Peppitone's show, which I had a pretty lousy set at. Sorry about that, Eddie! It wasn't all my fault, and I bet he'd agree. But I should take at least 50 percent of the blame, and god dammit, I will.
Coming up I have a few shows in the next few weeks, mostly at Mo Pitkins. I'm also on their softball team - I should probably get a job there, too, for the love of Jesus and God. If anyone wants to see me hit the ball hard and far just for it to get caught by some dude who by the right of testosterone will always catch my damn ball somewhere over Center left field, the game is at 1 pm in the East River Park. I don't want to brag, but I will - I'm pretty good at soft ball. I was MVP of my team once apon a shit cake.
But the big news of this entry is that I have a solo show coming up. I'm pretty excited about it, because it's the first solo show I've done since my last solo show three years ago called "Subtle; Pussy" which was at UCB. I've come a long way, asshole - now the pussy ain't so damn subtle, is it? Eat it! Stick it in your mouth and eat it! (Not mine, someone's you love.)
Anyway, the details of the show are just below, so save the date, and please tell your friends and also tell any christians or people with kids you hate that it is a children's christian show and that they will just love it!
Hope the people who give a crap about me are doing well, and everyone else can eat some feces.
Love,
Jessica
'Jessica Delfino Is Sorry To Disturb You'
Tuesday Nights In November, at RIFIFI / Cinema Classics
10 PM
332 E. 11th St. (1st / 2nd Aves), NYC
$5
This show is an open "apology" for all of Jessica's dark, sometimes disturbing sense of humor. Described as "A cross between Redd Foxx and Jewel" by The Onion and called, "The Lower East Side's folkie queen of obscene" by The Village Voice, Jessica Delfino's style of comedy has offended, irritated, annoyed, bugged, boggled and even pissed off at least one person of every race, color and creed. So, Jessica decided it's high time she set things right with the world. Showing examples of her offenses, this show will feature her dirtiest ditties, her most vulgar stand-up and her most outrageous short films, as well as some surprises, all of which she will attempt to atone for. (Or not.) Come prepared to get all up in a tizzy.
What the press is saying about JESSICA DELFINO:
"Comedic Discovery of the Month" --Comedy Central
"High Times Unsigned Band of the Week" --High Times
" * * * 1/2 [out of 4]" --Jane Magazine
"Fetchingly filthy. . . . Some of the most nasty, offensive, degrading and genius comedy you'll see all year." --New York Blade
"Best Potty-Mouthed, Guitar-Slinging Comedian" -- Best Of 2005 , The Village Voice
"The Lower East Side's folkie queen of obscene" --The Village Voice
"[She] is a delightful young lady who likes to sing whimsical songs about her vag.
She's sassy!" [7 out of 10 - (That's a lot coming from them. They hate everything.)] -- VICE Magazine
"Let me be absolutely clear about this, without any exaggeration: If you had to pay one live human baby in exchange for a ticket to her show, it would be worth it. More than worth it. . . . The songs are written and performed by Jessica and are hilarious. They're so funny that no word exists to describe them." --The Triangle,
The Student Newspaper at Drexel University, Philadelphia
"We were immediately stuck to our seats stunned and smiling as Jessica Delfino engaged us in tune after tune referencing her, and others, vagina(s)...She is funny. And smart." -- Thurston Moore & Byron Coley, Arthur Magazine
"She's a brilliant writer." --Wil Wheaton, Wil Wheaton dot Net
"Jessica Delfino is a comedian-songwriter who can warble with the earnestness of a folksinger while elucidating the finer points of oral sex. A cross between Redd Foxx and Jewel, Delfino sincerely strums her guitar in time to funny, often dirty lyrics with a well-practiced deadpan." --The Onion A.V. Club
"Hilariously ribald." -- BackStage.com
"Legendary" --The L Magazine
Hi There anyone who happens to be reading this collection of thoughts and words from my disassembled mind. It's disassembled because I am just returning from a month long tour / vacation and I almost feel like all is right with my world. Here's a tip to anyone who likes tips: If you live in NYC, leave NYC, often and regularly. The tour with the Trachtenburgs was unbelievably fun and weird, except for the bad parts, of which there were few. Look for a photo diatribe regarding the tour, coming soon to this very blog. I ended it all with a week + relax-a-thon in Los Angeles after my last show, which was at the Troubadour in LA. I even performed in LA at Eddie Peppitone's show, which I had a pretty lousy set at. Sorry about that, Eddie! It wasn't all my fault, and I bet he'd agree. But I should take at least 50 percent of the blame, and god dammit, I will.
Coming up I have a few shows in the next few weeks, mostly at Mo Pitkins. I'm also on their softball team - I should probably get a job there, too, for the love of Jesus and God. If anyone wants to see me hit the ball hard and far just for it to get caught by some dude who by the right of testosterone will always catch my damn ball somewhere over Center left field, the game is at 1 pm in the East River Park. I don't want to brag, but I will - I'm pretty good at soft ball. I was MVP of my team once apon a shit cake.
But the big news of this entry is that I have a solo show coming up. I'm pretty excited about it, because it's the first solo show I've done since my last solo show three years ago called "Subtle; Pussy" which was at UCB. I've come a long way, asshole - now the pussy ain't so damn subtle, is it? Eat it! Stick it in your mouth and eat it! (Not mine, someone's you love.)
Anyway, the details of the show are just below, so save the date, and please tell your friends and also tell any christians or people with kids you hate that it is a children's christian show and that they will just love it!
Hope the people who give a crap about me are doing well, and everyone else can eat some feces.
Love,
Jessica
'Jessica Delfino Is Sorry To Disturb You'
Tuesday Nights In November, at RIFIFI / Cinema Classics
10 PM
332 E. 11th St. (1st / 2nd Aves), NYC
$5
This show is an open "apology" for all of Jessica's dark, sometimes disturbing sense of humor. Described as "A cross between Redd Foxx and Jewel" by The Onion and called, "The Lower East Side's folkie queen of obscene" by The Village Voice, Jessica Delfino's style of comedy has offended, irritated, annoyed, bugged, boggled and even pissed off at least one person of every race, color and creed. So, Jessica decided it's high time she set things right with the world. Showing examples of her offenses, this show will feature her dirtiest ditties, her most vulgar stand-up and her most outrageous short films, as well as some surprises, all of which she will attempt to atone for. (Or not.) Come prepared to get all up in a tizzy.
What the press is saying about JESSICA DELFINO:
"Comedic Discovery of the Month" --Comedy Central
"High Times Unsigned Band of the Week" --High Times
" * * * 1/2 [out of 4]" --Jane Magazine
"Fetchingly filthy. . . . Some of the most nasty, offensive, degrading and genius comedy you'll see all year." --New York Blade
"Best Potty-Mouthed, Guitar-Slinging Comedian" -- Best Of 2005 , The Village Voice
"The Lower East Side's folkie queen of obscene" --The Village Voice
"[She] is a delightful young lady who likes to sing whimsical songs about her vag.
She's sassy!" [7 out of 10 - (That's a lot coming from them. They hate everything.)] -- VICE Magazine
"Let me be absolutely clear about this, without any exaggeration: If you had to pay one live human baby in exchange for a ticket to her show, it would be worth it. More than worth it. . . . The songs are written and performed by Jessica and are hilarious. They're so funny that no word exists to describe them." --The Triangle,
The Student Newspaper at Drexel University, Philadelphia
"We were immediately stuck to our seats stunned and smiling as Jessica Delfino engaged us in tune after tune referencing her, and others, vagina(s)...She is funny. And smart." -- Thurston Moore & Byron Coley, Arthur Magazine
"She's a brilliant writer." --Wil Wheaton, Wil Wheaton dot Net
"Jessica Delfino is a comedian-songwriter who can warble with the earnestness of a folksinger while elucidating the finer points of oral sex. A cross between Redd Foxx and Jewel, Delfino sincerely strums her guitar in time to funny, often dirty lyrics with a well-practiced deadpan." --The Onion A.V. Club
"Hilariously ribald." -- BackStage.com
"Legendary" --The L Magazine
Tuesday, September 5, 2006
LIFE ON TOUR, continued...
I'm in LA for a week...I'm PERFORMING IN LA at The Fake Gallery on Melrose
8:30 PM - THIS THURSDAY, Sept. 7th on Eddie Peppitone's show...
**************
Life on tour has been a treat!
Watching passing landscape from a tour van seat.
We played in each city and then race the clock
to catch the next show where we'd be sure to rock
I sang songs of crotches, I sang dirty tunies
I sold my dark filth in the cities and boonies
I met some neat people, I told them blue tales
I put love in their spirits and raunch in their sails!
I folked out in Asheville, my favorite show yet
I hit Dallas and Austin and have not one regret
The tour for me ended in Los Angeles
I'm here now relaxing and enjoying some peace
I'm hanging with friends, reuniting with them
I'm resting, recouping and following a whim
I'll be in the hills, over looking this sprawl
taking my time getting back to it all
The Tburgs continue upward with at least one empty seat...
go out and see them, their show is a treat!
I'm in LA for a week...I'm PERFORMING IN LA at The Fake Gallery on Melrose
8:30 PM - THIS THURSDAY, Sept. 7th on Eddie Peppitone's show...
**************
Life on tour has been a treat!
Watching passing landscape from a tour van seat.
We played in each city and then race the clock
to catch the next show where we'd be sure to rock
I sang songs of crotches, I sang dirty tunies
I sold my dark filth in the cities and boonies
I met some neat people, I told them blue tales
I put love in their spirits and raunch in their sails!
I folked out in Asheville, my favorite show yet
I hit Dallas and Austin and have not one regret
The tour for me ended in Los Angeles
I'm here now relaxing and enjoying some peace
I'm hanging with friends, reuniting with them
I'm resting, recouping and following a whim
I'll be in the hills, over looking this sprawl
taking my time getting back to it all
The Tburgs continue upward with at least one empty seat...
go out and see them, their show is a treat!
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