Sunday, January 26, 2003

Super Bowl....s......of Cheese Dip!

I am really excited about the Super Bowl. It's not that I'm absolutely crazy about sports but I love dip. I also love chips. I've been looking forward to 'the day of snacks' for so long. I can't wait. I'm going over to my friend's house and we're going to crunch out. He's going to have potato chips, nacho chips, pretzels, popcorn, crackers, maybe some kind of vegetable sticks, probably some chicken wings. And the dip - I'm going over it now with my mind's eye. He's going to have salsa, and guacamole, and artichoke dip, and that cheese in a jar, maybe even the cheese in a spray can, definitely cheese in a block. He'll probably have some hot mustard sauce for the wings, some refried bean dip or something of that nature, and I wouldn't be surprised to see some sour cream dip.

Beverages - I know he's going to have those. He's going to have beer, soda, probably tap water, I doubt it but maybe bottled water, probably some milk but I doubt I'll drink any and I don't think it will be milk that he purchased specifically for the super bowl party, unless maybe he also purchased a bottle of kahlua or some kind of sweet coffee like liquor to mix with the milk, or perhaps just for coffee itself. I hate drinking coffee with out milk, so if he makes coffee, I hope he bought milk because otherwise, I won't be able to drink the coffee. Who wants coffee without milk?

I actually do know this one kid who loves to drink coffee without milk and every time I see him do that it makes me so angry. I always ask him every time I see him drinking it - why? Why coffee with no milk? How can you do that? It's really gross, black coffee. He says some kind of clever stupid little quip every time, like, "Hey. I like my coffee the way I like my women. Lactose free." Or, "Hey, I like my coffee the way I like my women. No cream, please." I never get it, but I always kind of chuckle because I imagine he's trying to make a joke and my mother always taught me, if someone tells you a joke, even if you don't think it's funny, you have to laugh, because that's what manners are all about.

So, this Super Bowl, I'm going to do a lot of fake laughing, because my friend who loves to drink coffee without milk is going to be there, and so if my other friend who's having the party didn't buy milk, I'm definitely going to be laughing, quote unquote.

My other friends who are going to be there are a rainbow of personalities. My one friend is going to be there who is always screaming in a very mascot-y way. My friend is going to be there who always is high fiving everyone. Last time I saw him, he was like, "Hey, Jessica. How's your mother?" I was like, "She's doing really well, thanks for asking." Then he was like, "All right!" And high fived me. There are going to be a few girls there that always travel in a pack. One of them will be really pretty and probably quite stupid. Then there will be a girl who's not as pretty as her friend, but her personality is a lot better than her friend's. Then there will be a girl who is really tiny, and all the guys will throw her around like a football. There will probably also be some foreign girl who is here visiting for a few days and doesn't speak english too well. We will make jokes to her face and laugh at her when she doesn't get them. That's so much fun. Who else will be there? Oh, yeah. There will be the guy there who tries to hook up with me all the time even though I've all ready shot him down so many times. Then, there will be a guy there who I totally want to make out with and he is so nice and it seems like he totally likes me, but he's just a nice guy, that's just the way he is, and he has no intention of either making out with me or letting me make out with him. I think the guy is going to be there who does beer tricks, he crushes cans of beer on his face, or bites the heads off of small animals swimming in beer. There will be the weed guy who always has weed, and will smoke it with you if he knows you, or if you introduce yourself to him and listen to stories of his trip he took to Europe. Finally, you will be there. You're the person who always....oh, yes, that's right. You're the one who loves to watch the game.

See you there!

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