Thursday, December 29, 2011

Where To See Me On Friday Night
(Hint: It's Bar Matchless, 557 Manhattan Ave, BK)

The show takes place at Bar Matchless in Brooklyn, 557 Manhattan Ave, in the Greenpoint area of Brooklyn. The burlesque dancers were awesome last time! Very creative and clever costume and song ideas.

Below are more details about Bar Matchless, see you tomorrow night at 8:45 pm, or go early and get dinner and a few games of foosball in. Don't be late, don't show up alone and don't forget to wear something cute.

Driving / Extensive Travel Directions HERE

  • 16 tap lines
  • Food served until 3am
  • Local Bands in the Back Room
  • DJs in the front room
  • Foosball, pool, and darts
  • Tuesday, December 27, 2011

    ** Wrap Up **
    A Night of Dirty Songs @ Joe's Pub
    Christmas Eve
    Sat 12/24/2011

    Last month, when I booked A Night of Dirty Songs for a Saturday Night at Joe's Pub I felt a little nervous. "How am I supposed to fill a 200 seat venue on the eve of the Lord's birth?" Not without some help -- thank you NY Times, Time Out NY, LoDownNY, NonsenseNYC, MurphGuide, Flavorpill and BoweryBoogie, which were just a few of the places I saw it listed. And thanks to Jena Friedman, Ben Lerman, Rob Paravonian, Myq Kaplan, Daniella Day, Lucas O'Bryen, Cavassa Nickens and the staff of Joe's Pub for their help and their all ass kicking-ness behind the scenes and on the stage.

    The night of the show I said a prayer to a God I don't believe in as he was probably busy preparing for his son's birthday - not too classy. But it must have worked, because I came out onto the stage at Joe's Pub to a room full of Jewish people, gay people, people from Minnesota, friends, strangers, people who hated the fact that they'd been dragged there, pervs, parents, grandparents, staff and more.

    Like this nice lady here who brought me a Christmas penis pop. What a surprise and a delight. Is that the cutest lady wearing the most adorable Christmas sweater...or what?

    For those of you who were there, thank you so much for being a part of the show. What a great way to close out the year - with a great, fun, funny, full show and a few new, nice pieces of press.

    “Jessica Delfino, a folk/comedienne/YouTube sensation” –The Lo-Down

    “Naughty but nice . . . Irreverent, off-kilter and sexy” –The New York Times

    Happy New Year and I'll see you in 2012.

    Thursday, December 22, 2011

    Night of Dirty Songs
    THIS SATURDAY (tomorrow) 12/24
    9:30 PM @
    Joe's Pub (425 Lafayette St.)

    Saturday is really close, it's like, tomorrow by my calculations. That's Christmas Eve for those of you who have been hiding in caves, much like the way our ancestors and most reasonable crowd fearing and holiday wary types have done for centuries around Christmas time.

    I'm excited and nervous about the show this Saturday. I'm feeling a tinge of the holiday blues but you guys will help me snap out of it on Saturday when I see your bright happy faces. Wait a minute, that's silly. You guys are probably as holiday blue as I am. What do I know, maybe you're super well adjusted. Ha! Right.

    Someone called my songs "vulgar" today when we were chatting about the show which prompted me to ask, "Would you call Louis C.K. vulgar?" Because he is. He is terrifically deliciously vulgar, and I love every word of it. But when people describe him, I never hear the world vulgar come up...

    Anyway - I have a new song I will be performing as well as 2 holiday songs from my Christmas CD. Plus, I have four amazing guests on the show, including Jena Friedman, Ben Lerman, Myq Kaplan and Rob Paravonian, plus a possible special guest or two. The show is going to be awesome, and I really appreciate that the NY Times plugged it, because they don't just plug any old show, and they plugged two shows in the Weekend Miser column, and one of them was mine. Either it was a slow week, or someone over there likes me, or there's some third option I haven't thought of, like the premise of Sirens of Titan, or something smart sounding like that.

    OK, see you tomorrow at Joe's Pub. That's at 425 Lafayette St. in NYC. You can get your tickets online at the above link, or call 212-967-7555. Or buy them at the door tomorrow at 9ish PM. Bye! And hey, if I don't see you before the holidays, Merry Christmas. And Happy New Year. And Happy Festivus. And Happy Winter Solstice. And Happy Hanukkah. And Happy Kwanza. And Happy whatever else you celebrate.

    ***Need a last minute holiday gift? I recommend my different and fun Christmas CD full of original holiday songs (and one parody of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas"). Fun for the whole family, even the kids, depending on the kind of parent you are. You can get it on iTunes or pick an actual old-timey CD up at the show tomorrow.***

    Friday, December 9, 2011

    Rick Perry Is Gay

    What has history proven us about politicians who vehemently come out against being gay, gays getting married, gays in the military and otherwise criticizing gays? It has proven that naysaying politician is gay. When I saw the Rick Perry "Strong" video, it occurred to me that Rick Perry must be gay. To make a video like that and put it out there says it all.

    We need only look into the very recent past to be able to cite various examples of this. Mark Foley and Jim McGreevey are just two names that come to mind. There are so many others who have been more careful not to openly criticize gays because it's a no brainer - if a politician says that they hate gays, that person is gay, sure as day. This is a sociological phenomenon that occurs in other aspects of life, too. It's a pretty basic concept. If you actually secretly love something (say, men's penises) and you don't want anyone to know that (because, say you're a politician who is married to a woman), then don't say anything about not liking gays. As a matter of fact, maybe even go a little in the opposite direction. Try saying, "Hey, being gay is fine with me." Throw 'em a curve ball.

    Now I'm practically turning blue holding my breath with giddy delight waiting for Mr. Perry's scandal to come out. Has he been dating one of his male assistants? Has he been secretly listening to Hall and Oates? Did he do his own interior designing in his office? Come on, media, give us the goods. Stop reporting on Katy Perry and tell us all about Rick Perry. And how he's gay, gay, super gay.

    I'd like to reiterate, I love and can usually relate to the gays. They are typically pretty smart, and pretty funny. They usually like my sense of humor. I understand feeling out of place or unusual. Every once in awhile I'll run into the kind of gays I don't like. But I never don't like they because they are gay. I don't like them because they are uptight, they work in corporate America, they pretend to be straight, hide who they are and act snippy and terrible because they're miserable inside. Like the two gay men who live on my floor who have two tiny matching gay dogs. But you can't hide from your sexuality. And you can't help who you love. Anyone who hides from who they are and / or lies about it runs the risk of being simply unlikeable.

    And so, if Mr. Perry is gay, which at this point, it's pretty fair to say he probably is, I wish him the best. I hope he can someday come out like a man and admit it, because if it's true, it will eventually come out, and it's better to come out on your own than have it come out for you.

    And if he would rather stay in the closet, that's fine, too. But then his best course of action would be to not make any more anti-gay viral videos, to stop dressing like Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain, stop deep throating corn dogs on film, and leave the gays alone.

    Thursday, December 8, 2011

    Beetlejuice Museum
    NY, NY

    Bruce as Beetlejuice, mentioned in the Village Voice as "Best Costume of 2011"

    Last Sunday, I was invited to Bruce Christensen's house to perform on camera and see / sing a song about his...drum roll, please...wait for it...Beetlejuice Museum.

    Bruce has collected hundreds of "Beetlejuice" items and artifacts, that's right - toys, games, knick knacks, dolls, trinkets and more, all on the theme of Beetlejuice, starring Wynona Rider Alec Baldwin, Geena Davis and Michael Keaton as Beetlejuice. What ever happened to him?

    Maybe you've already heard about the Beetlejuice Museum. Perhaps you read about it in the New Yorker. It is really more of a vast collection taking up much of his 1/2 bedroom apartment, more than it is a museum, harkening back to visions of Reverend Jen's Troll Museum, which lives in part of Jen's apartment in a tenement walk up on the Lower East Side.

    Bruce has just written a book called "Backstage Pass: Crossing The Line" about his memoirs getting backstage to dozens of concerts and shows. He's a colorful, bizarre and interesting character - part of what makes NYC so fun and neat. The part, unfortunately, that is dying out as more Starbucks and corporatization move in.

    Go see the Beetlejuice Museum (by appointment only) over in it's midtown location before it's gone.

    Tuesday, December 6, 2011

    RIP Patrice O'Neal

    I got on the 5 train yesterday, something I almost never do, and took it uptown to pay respects to an old friend, Patrice O'Neal, who died at 41 of complications from a stroke just about a week ago. He died way too young for how strong he was.

    It was a beautiful and believe it or not, hilarious and touching service in a gorgeous church, fit for such a giant man. Patrice was a large man in stature, but he was even larger in personality. He was, simply put, just a really very special person.

    Patrice and I hadn't seen each other in several years. The last time I saw him was at an event at the Friar's Club, where he was wearing his classic scowl towards the environment. He interviewed me intensely about my life and softened now and again when I'd say something that pleased him. If I said something annoying to him, the scowl would return and he would stare up at me from where he sat with a clear message that I was on thin ice and could get a tongue lashing at any moment.

    Years ago, I met Patrice at the Comedy Cellar. For a while, he ignored me, but eventually, he started talking to me. Then, he began to pick on me. I was not used to a giant black man saying horrible yet hilarious things to me. I was put off and flattered at the same time. One time, he let into me in his way, and in that moment, it hit me wrong. I stood up and walked out of the bar in tears.

    He came after me and cornered me outside, where he lectured me for close to an hour. He told me to toughen up and take it. He said that he picked on me because he liked me, and that was more than he could say for most people, so I should feel lucky. He told me that comedy is a tough world and that I have to be ready for people to say anything to me and be able to hold my ground, because many more people would come after him who would make a strong effort to break me, and they wouldn't be messing around, like he had been.

    Then, he gave me a giant Patrice bear hug.

    He made me laugh and think, every time we spoke, and every time I heard him speak. I used to go to the Tough Crowd tapings all the time, where he'd verbally pummel his co-panelists hilariously into the ground. To see the outpouring of love for him yesterday was really touching and intense. I saw people I hadn't seen for a long time and they've all aged. And I've aged, too. I guess that'd be weird if none of us had aged.

    Not having him on the planet makes it a lonelier, colder, less funny, less honest place, and that sucks.

    Here's a clip from his special "Elephant In The Room". His honesty, hilariousness and blatant personality made him just the coolest person ever. Buy this DVD which will help his family, who are also really wonderful people.

    Friday, December 2, 2011

    with Special Guests + Dirty Ditties Galore!
    Tickets On Sale Now

    Dec. 2, 2011
    New York, NY

    A Night Of Dirty Songs To Defeat The “War On Christmas”

    “Twas the night before Christmas and in New York City, folks were enjoying raucous bawdy ditties”. OK, so maybe that’s not how the infamous Clement Clark Moore poem begins, but that’s how Christmas Eve 2011 will begin for some 200 laugh loving New Yorkers lucky enough to score a ticket to the most lewd and lascivious holiday show just off Broadway.

    Are you tired of sipping spiked eggnog to the same old holiday stand-bys? Then, Oh, Come All Ye Faithful to “A Night Of Dirty Songs” where you will “laugh, squirm and laugh again” as Time Out NY so eloquently put it, at a collection songs that would make your grandmother blush clap and dance with delight.

    “A Night Of Dirty Songs” - which is exactly what it sounds like - is the ribald brainchild of Jessica Delfino, the “Lower East Side’s Queen of Obscene” (Village Voice) and winner of Voice Choice’s “Best Of” award for being the “Best Potty Mouthed Guitar Slinging Comedian” in NYC, Emerging Comedians of NY “Best Musical Comedian” and Runner-Up for an Andy Kaufman Award. Jessica’s music was even condemned by the U.S. Catholic League’s very own resident crazy person William Donohue. Can anyone say ho ho ho-ly smokes?

    On December 24, 2011 at 9:30 PM, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (and Gentlewomen and Gentletranspeople) in the cozy seats and couches of Joe’s Pub, located at 425 Lafayette Street, as ye sip dirty martinis and listen to delightfully dirty songs.

    With special guests who you’ll recognize from The Late Show with David Letterman, Last Comic Standing, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, Comedy Central, this night will be anything but silent. So drop your dreidels (but not your drawers) and get over to Joe’s Pub on Christmas Eve where, with the help of sweet, sweet music, we will join together to win the War on Christmas – or at least do something more fun than just order Chinese food again.

    ONE NIGHT ONLY, ONE SHOW ONLY. Doors open at 9 PM. Get your tickets online now.

    TICKETS direct link:

    * No cats were harmed in the making of this holiday photo.

    Wednesday, November 23, 2011

    Holiday Craft Season Is ON!

    Some of you look forward to Black Friday for shopping purposes, others like it because it means that Thanksgiving is over and you can get away from your emotionally retarded aunt or a freakishly stupid person who you are ashamed to be related to.

    I hear ya!

    But the reason I love Black Friday, besides the fact that it's called "Black Friday" (how bad ass does that sound? It's definitely the best named "day" of the year) is because it means my holiday crafting festivities are an official "go".

    Crafting may sound boring to you, but that's because you are boring. To me, crafting is just a blank canvas for which I can craft upon. It's kind of like how guys go to baseball games so they can drink and bang chicks who like dudes who wear baseball themed clothing. Our crafting sessions can get pretty wild! Much like baseball watching parties, there is the copious amounts of alcohol and plenty of food and snacks. How do you think I keep this big ass all big and ass-y? Craft season. (My ass was Kardashian before hers was.)

    And when girls get together and drink, they talk, and that's fun. We talk about everyday stuff, of course, but there are always lots of fun sex stories - some of which could be those little horny stories in the beginning of older Playboy or Hustler mags. I'm always kind of shocked, impressed and delighted at the dirty shit that comes out of my sometimes socially uptight friend's mouths after they've had a drink or two. It cements my belief that the world is dirty and we might as well embrace it in the form of song.

    To make matters even more exciting, my man is taking off for a week to go do a job in Germany, so that means I get to have my whole place to myself to spread out all my glitter and paper pieces and plastic knick knacks I've been saving for a decade and fit them all together while the neurons in my brain explode with happiness and I watch Stella and drink and my cat sits on whatever I'm working on incessantly and my friends bring their crap over and we talk about how to trick this or that fella into loving this or that girl.

    When we're done, I have about 40 dozen tampons cut into trees and stars of david ornaments, two of which I stick into my ears, because they are bleeding. Gross! And then I sell this stuff on Ebay. Whooo! (see photo above) This year, I'm selling packs of 3 for $10.

    But wait, why read my blatherings when you can just listen to a song I wrote about it - it's called the Crafter's Anthem - enjoy!

    And speaking of songs, here's my classic stoner Thanksgiving jam, "Happy Stoned Thanksgiving". If you'd rather hear my songs wwooooaahhhh - on the radio - no problem. Listen for "Only A Stranger's Cock" on The Red Peters show on SiriusXM's Howard 101 Channel -

    Thursday (Thanksgiving) at 5
    Friday at 10
    Saturday at 7
    Sunday at 4

    I'll be in the 2nd section. If you're not familiar with Red Peters, check him out. He loves dirty songs, just like me.

    If you'd like to own my Christmas CD, "Perfect Holidays"

    or buy it on Etsy and have the actual CD for a little less.

    Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. This year I'm thankful for the same things I'm thankful for every year - sappy stuff, snarky stuff and pharmaceuticals.


    Thursday, November 10, 2011


    *issued irregularly*

    Ms. Delfino as a giant ukulele - photo by Anya Garrett

    Hey Guys!!

    I hope you have all had a great Halloween. I marched in the parade dressed as a giant ukulele. I accidentally 420'd before the parade which was a terrible idea, because walking up the street dressed as a giant ukulele with She-Ra to my left and "A TV Dinner" to my right, waving "high" to a few hundy thou peeps will incite a slight out of body experience, and is not recommended, unless you like that sort of thing. It was the scariest Halloween I've had in awhile.

    A WORD ON "420'd"

    Yeah, I said 420'd. But that's better than what my mom calls it. "Have you been smoking a bone?" she'd ask me when I was a teen. And I'd say, "Well, let's see, mom, my eyes are crossed and are so dry, when I close my eyelids, they fold over themselves like disheveled car floor mats, and I can't form coherent sentences. I'd say that's a big fat yepperooni. But regardless, no one says "smoking a bone" anymore, mom. Not even other baby boomer hippies. So, if you're not going to ground me, then will you please make me a sandwich?" Or at least that's what I said in my head. It sounded probably a little more like, "Mmmeehhmmm ummm nooooo"...

    I haven't 420'd in forever. Why do I keep saying that? Because I'm afraid if I write the real thing, the one CIA agent who understands hippie code will come to my door and demand I hand over the pots. That's what 420ing does to you. It makes you paranoid. So if you must smoke it, then at least stay in school, kids. Even if you are going to school high.

    Left to Right: TV Dinner, Ukulele, SheRa, like that needed explaining.

    Speaking of pot, please enjoy this FREE SEASONAL SONG on the theme of Thanksgiving.

    Or, check out a brand new Delfino jam aqui. Or, why not kick back with a fine snifter of brandy and hear a whole bunch of dirty folk songs right on this link right here.


    I'm headed to DC this weekend, Nov. 11th and 12th with the girls of Stripped Stories, so if you're in the Washington, DC area, stop by and hear us spin tales of hilarity and sexiness. You can find out more about the show right at this website here. Live in NYC or Philly but wanna see the show? No problem, chiefs.

    I have a new website in the works, and I'm pretty excited about that. More details soon.


    Dependable, creative, funny camera person with pro camera and gear -- ideally one who can also edit -- to shoot a comedic short. This position offers a daily $tipend. If you live in the NYC area and I have described you, please get in touch, and send resume or list of projects you've worked on. Filming will take place late Nov / early December in NYC. JessDelfino at Gmail dot com.


    OK that's all for now. If you don't already, follow me on Twitter and I will occasionally squeeze out something ridiculous, hilarious, messed up, boring or just plain wrong. Promise.

    Wanna see where I'll be performing next or what I'm into between these long lonely updateless stretches? Check the blog.

    Until next time,

    PS - Next month is effing Christmas already. May I suggest my fun Christmas album, "Perfect Holidays" available on iTunes, which is great for Granny and the kids. Seriously! It's practically PG, except for one song that talks about wanting one thing for Christmas, something related to people's butts. Oh, and do you count talking about marijuana PG? Because I do. Bye!!

    Tuesday, November 1, 2011

    aka fun with Credit Card Companies

    I saw a twitter post yesterday that said to stick your credit card inquiries back into the reply all envelope and return them to the company just to send it back to where it came from, because they get charged by the ounce. I tried to find it to post it here and give them credit, but I've gotten about 40,000 tweets since then and can now no longer find it.

    I liked the idea, and have done similar fun business reply mail pranks, ie, sending people I dislike subscriptions of horrible magazines (such as NAMBLA Weekly, yuck yuck) or when President Bush was fund raising, I'd sign up on his mailing list just to waste their campaign funds, not like it really affected them too much, they are as rich as or possibly richer than Satan.

    But it was fun to do and gave me that "stick it to the man" inner glow that keeps me looking and feeling my best.

    So, yesterday when I saw that tweet, I put it in my brain case for later, and later was today, when I got 2 credit card solicitations in my mail box. I decided, maybe I can use that logic to get removed from their mailing list without having to call and sit on the phone with them for 45 minutes, getting transferred from one sad phone operator to the next having to tell my story 15 times in a row to do something simple, like get removed from a mailing list.

    Enjoy, use, pass it on.

    This is one of my fun, little ways of "Occupying Wall Street". I'd like to hear what kinds other people do and join forces to create a great big book of social pranks.

    Tuesday, October 25, 2011

    Who I Gave My CD To Yesterday

    As we learned in my last blog post, I will give my CD to just about any perceived important celebrity type person who I can. As I mentioned before, I kind of use it like a business card, but it's so much more fun than a business card, what with songs any celebrity's grandmother would love.

    But I especially love to put it into the hands of other musicians, comedy musicians and special general weirdos. And last night, I gave one to none other than Michael McKean (Spinal Tap. a million other things). What a treat for him that must have been! To have me slink over to him after his show at the Mercury Lounge and say, "That was great! Hey, I brought you a present!" in my most ambitiously confident voice that somehow still certainly came out as mousy and nervous.

    He was very gracious, as they usually all are, and took my CD, exclaiming, "Yay, free stuff!"

    I should have gotten a photo with him but I didn't. I get nervous sometimes. I'm only flesh and blood and guts underneath these lovely blue eyes and all this thick gorgeous hair.

    So let's see what happens now - if my psychic powers are on, of course Michael McKean and I will probably start a new band together and write a bunch of great songs.

    Here's an old Spinal Tap video of a song he played last night -- it was so awesome to see this performed live with Less The Band who shared the stage with him.

    Friday, October 21, 2011

    What It's Like To Meet Ben Folds
    ...with a little digression on celebrity worship

    Living in NYC, you bump into freaks, maniacs, strangers and frenemies that you really wish you hadn't. The plus is that you also literally bump into people on the street who you've dreamed about meeting. This happened to me with Mike Myers, Dave Attell, Colin Quinn and a few others.

    It didn't happen to me last night but it sorta did - a "genius" friend of mine sent me a text thatBen Folds was playing at the Apple Store. I live about a five minute bike ride away from there, so I hopped on my bike and whizzed over. I got there just in time to miss Ben's performance, but after he finished his set, he came out to sign autographs and have his photo taken with the small posse of fans who waited patiently, a nice move. He could've snuck out the back door, but he didn't. He came out and collected his fanfare.

    I have always been a fan of giving celebrities the celebration that is part of their lives. Without fans, a celebrity is just another wanna be (and probably not a celebrity). I have met celebrities and people who really aren't that famous at all -- including peers of mine -- who act like, "You're all welcome for my presence, it's a good thing I came along and am here right now" and I think it's pretty troubling. There's nothing more disingenuous than a person who thinks they rose to the top all alone. The fans, the agency support, their contacts, their parents, timing and luck have a lot to do with it. Talent is actually a small part of success, I have noticed! Humility is hot. I have a lot of people to thank for the small amount of success I've attained, and some of them are even my enemies! See how humble I am? Don't you think I'm hot now?

    I don't gush over many celebs, but there are a few I'd still love to meet, including Joni Mitchell and Cher. There are other celebs I wanted to meet for a long time but after hearing what turds they are to fans and strangers over and over, (and seeing video proof!) I decided, ehh, I'll just listen to their CD's and be good with that. When I hear a celebrity is a creep to their fans, that's a permanent turn off. Sure, they get stalkers and stuff, I know, I have one, and it sucks. But not everyone is an asshole, only the assholes are assholes. What a disappointment though, when someone you really admire turns out to be just a normal shitty human.

    Once on Celebrity Apprentice, I saw Cyndi Lauper and one of her apprentices have it out. The girl said she'd been so looking forward to meeting Cyndi Lauper but that Cyndi was really mean. And Cyndi said, "Don't meet your idols, because you'll be disappointed."

    It's so true! I'm just going to hide under a rock and never try to meet anyone I admire ever again. :)

    Part of me feels guilty for asking a celebrity for a photo sometimes. I shared this sentiment with a friend of mine who's had his photo taken with every single celebrity you can think of(who also happens to be quite a celebrity himself). He said, "Naw, go get your picture with them! Just be polite, don't ask them when their eating with their kids, etc."

    There's a good time to pester a celebrity and a bad time.

    A good time, might be, say, after a small in-store performance. There I stood, waiting for Ben Folds to come out. I happened to have a copy of my CD in my purse. That's something I've just come to do out of habit - because I never know who I'll meet in this city. I gave a copy of my CD to a famous comedian once and she looked at me like I was the biggest asshole who ever lived. Maybe I deserved that look. Who gives their CDs to celebrities they meet? Only this jerk right here. Maybe it's a cheesy move. But there's a unicorn with a bumper sticker on the front. And it has "My Pu$$y Is Magic" on it. Who doesn't want that put into their hand? (If you're dying to know, ask me sometime in person and I'll tell you who it was.)

    But I really wanted to give one to Ben Folds. Unlike the above unmentioned person, who I thought just might get a kick out of hearing another female comedian's work (wrong - I'm an idiot, I accept that), Ben Folds actually really inspired my music. I listened to him hard when I was rockin' the suburbs in college in Philadelphia. It was actually an old comedian friend Stu Kamens who turned me on to him. I fell in love with Whatever And Ever Amen and listened to the shit out of it. "Song For The Dumped" probably inspired half my style.

    I also cite Liz Phair, Joni Mitchell and 2 Live Crew as early inspirations, and maybeLaura Kightlinger and Sarah Silverman.

    Anyway, back to Ben! He was so gracious and friendly. He took my CD, complimented the artwork and look of it (I believe his exact words were something like, 'Hey, this looks pretty neat') and then said, 'Look at this' and handed it to noted artist Opie Otterstad who was also there, as he designed Ben's new CD artwork, which was pretty freakin' cool.

    I had my photo taken with him by my friend David Moye who also has his own photo of himself and Ben, and took a photo of Opie holding my CD, then I went home.

    Call me a fan girl, go ahead! I have celebrities I admire, fine, I admit it! I have inspirations in my life. I don't think I'm the greatest creative mind in the world who does everything on my own and doesn't need anyone. I'm not an egotistical maniacal narcissist. But sometimes I wish I were...

    If I were, I'd probably be a lot more successful.

    Wednesday, October 19, 2011

    Halloween Freakfest!
    THIS SATURDAY, Oct. 22
    Tompkins Square Park
    Ave A @ 7th Street in the park
    (East Village NYC)
    1-7 PM
    Free! Free! Free!

    After party at Double Down Saloon, 7 PM

    Wear a fun costume! Win a serious butt load of awesome prizes! Enjoy some delicious home made snacks! Get your Halloween spirit out and on! Let your freak flag fly! Get your creative juices flowing! Other cliches!

    The Halloween Freakfest, presented by The Shadow and Our Lady Of Perpetual PMS is an annual show in the park, showcasing free indie punk bands, quirky performers and creative creatures of the East Village. This event is always fun, there's always a big crowd and this year, the show will take place on a large covered stage. Our Lady Of Perpetual PMS always comes up with the best costumes, she is one incredibly creative and fun person and she knows how to throw a kickin' party / show.

    I have just confirmed my spot on the line-up and am really excited. Now I have to come up with a great costume. Any ideas??? I was thinking about going as a ukulele. Seriously. At least there probably won't be any other people dressed up as ukuleles out there.

    Other confirmed acts include: Scum City, Dethrace, G.L.O.B., Ghouls Night Out, Ritz Riot, Lunch Lady, Jennifer Blowdryer and more.

    It's going to be awesome and ridiculous and if you don't go, you will miss it. Obviously.

    Tuesday, October 18, 2011

    Nerding Out:
    A Few Good Words

    for the non-permitted use of their above image. Hopefully they'll accept
    this link on my site as gratitude enough.

    Today, I went to go visit a friend, and we sat on top of a beautiful roof deck way up high in the sky -- virtually dozens of feet above Manhattan.

    During our lovely conversation over iced tea and some kind of ginger soup, he dropped the word "bucolic" on me. I expressed delight in his use of a big, fancy uncommon word. To me, cleverly executed verbiage is a giant turn on.

    I *told* you I was a nerd.

    At first, I thought I'd never heard the word before, but later when I looked it up on my trusty Mac dashboard dictionary, I recognized it.

    adjectiveof or relating to the pleasant aspects of the countryside and country life : the church is lovely for its bucolic setting.
    Calloo callay! What a word!!
    It got me to thinking about words that I love for various reasons, so I compiled them together to share a list of some killer selections from the English lexicon.
    ClobberDidacticSoliloquyJocundFeralTersePriggishUnfetteredTenacityShrillCretin (honorable mentions go to Obtuse and Retarded)SlogTraipse
    OK, that's enough good words for now. Add the ones I forgot in the comments below.

    Monday, October 17, 2011


    The schwag bag drawing was this past weekend, and two winners have been randomly chosen to receive a small bag (or a small box, really) loaded with schwag and goodies from the Den of Delfino Giveaways Chest.

    And the winners, are, drumroll, please....

    1. Your Favorite Guncle at Gmail
    2. SLK 2635 at Gmail

    CONGRATS!! I have sent out e-mails notifying those who won that they have won. I need those people to write back and send me the mailing address which they'd like their packages to go to. SLK's email bounced, so I'm going to give SLK a day or two to see this post. If I haven't heard back in a few days, an additional runner up has been chosen who I'll reveal then.

    To those who did not win, please read my blog more often, and please try again.

    In other news --

    There was another Chinese funeral in my neighborhood this morning. I watched from out my bedroom window in my PJs as I sipped a cup of hot licorice tea. I have a beautiful view from the corner perch out my window, all the way up Ludlow Street. I liken it to a widow's watch in a dirtier part of town. I fancy a drug dealer's wife watching out the window, waiting for her love to return alive.

    At the funeral, the marching band played as the line of livery cars pulled into traffic jam tightness all the way up Ludlow Street to Broome. One livery cab drove by the officiators too fast and sprayed them with street water.

    In one car, several men got in who were all dressed in yellow with pointy jester looking hats.

    There's something absolutely gut wrenchingly delightful about Chinese funerals. They appear to be a somber yet energetic celebration of life. When I die, I want a very specific and colorful funeral like that: a band playing, hired mourners, livery cabs.

    I have been obsessed with the darker side of life since I was a child. I think the movie Beetlejuice had something to do with it, that and Poltergeist being one of the first adult movies I ever watched (and Stephen King's Cujo being the first adult book I ever read).

    A friend and I have just begun a new spooky band together, which I'll tell you more about soon. We are called "The Coffin Lickers" and we are going to do A Very Haunted Halloween Show in December, so keep your eyes out for that.

    I also have a field report from a recent Occupy Wall Street visit that I'll share soon.

    That's it. You can go about your normal day now.