Sunday, May 30, 2010


This past weekend was brimming with movement. Friday kicked off the Theater for the New City's Lower East Side Festival of the Arts, which I was very excited to be an assistant director of, in addition to performing in this year. 

I did sneak out / take a quick break from the festival, though, in the early part of Friday to zip over to the BP station and make a statement with my Shakespearean inspired sign. 

It made me very glad to be the lead photo on the Gothamist coverage of the "flash protest" that ran from 6 - 6:15 pm, and I'm equally as delighted to have my face cut out of the photo, as I did briefly sneak out of work to be there! I am lucky to have had the help of a great staff and crew who barely missed me. 

Here are a few links if you're curious to read about the protest, which demonstrated people's disgust with the handling of the BP oil spill. I am quoted in an Associated Press article, where I simply say, in a nutshell, that I can't believe the world is still going, business as usual, with something this catastrophic going on in the background. It made me stop and speak out, and if you haven't yet, I hope it will inspire you, too.

Michael Moore's website / AP 

1010 Wins

Friday night, I took 25 of my friends to see "The Room" at Village East Cinema at midnight. I performed an opening intro and song on my electronic autoharp a.k.a. Q-chord (it is like a piano from the future, or something a witch might play in the woods.) In mid song, I ask the audience if they'd like to say hi to Mark, wherein, I called Mark's (Greg Sestero) cell number and asked the entire room on the count of 3 to yell, "Oh, hi Mark!" I then gave away a limited edition tee shirt of Greg naked, covered in spoons and we watched the hell out of "The Room". 

That film and Rocky Horror Picture Show are the only two examples I can think of where white people get to scream at the film being played in the movie theater, and it's a lot of fun. 

If you want to see The Room, you get another chance on Wed June 9th at midnight, when we will screen it after Skits'N'Tits. If you arrive at 10 PM, your $8 ticket to Skits'N'Tits gets you a seat and admission to Skits'N'Tits. Or you can just come at midnight and get your ticket for $8 at the door. Don't forget to bring your plastic spoons -- please get them from McDonald's or home, don't spend money on a box of spoons! It's too wasteful. 

Yesterday was the outdoor portion of the TNC Festival of the Arts which took place on 10th St. between 1st and 2nd Ave. It was a beautiful day, and my friends Jena Friedman, Kyle Thompson and I all got to enjoy fun and energetic sets in front of a large, enthusiastic audience. 

The festival carried on into the night inside the Theater for the New City, with performances in two theaters by Zero Boy, many great dance troupes, musicians such as Richard West who produced the outdoor street show, Lissa Moira and many others. Tonight, the festival continues with poetry all day, and then a variety of performances including dance, music, theater, cabaret and more from 6 pm until 1 am tonight. It's all free and open to the public. And if that weren't enough, as an added bonus, I'll be performing at 11 PM! 1st Avenue at the corner of 10th St. 

See ya there, come and hang out with me. I'll be there from 5 PM on, helping the ship run smoothly. Bring me a cupcake, a soda, or a hug. 

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Theater for the New City 

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Open Letter To BP

This is a letter I sent to BP's press contact, after I visited their website. I was beyond dismayed to find that there was no apology in plain view on the website. Please feel free to copy this email and send it to BP, yourself. Will it work? Let's see what happens!


BCC: US Senator Charles Schumer, US Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, Representative Jerrold Nadler, Representative Nydia Velazquez, NY Times, NY Magazine, The Lo Down Lower East Side NYC Blog, NY Post, Mara Haseltine,,, NY Press, Crains NY, Time Out NY, Paste Magazine, Clear Magazine, Downtown Express, NY Post, Daily News,MSNBC, SoHo Journal, FHM Magazine, Art Cat,, The Villager, Gay City News, NY Blade, Morgan Spurlock, Fox News, Red Eye With Greg Gutfeld, Pitchfork Media, Grand Street News, Venus Magazine, NY1, The Brooksville Belle and other esteemed members of the press and arts community

Open Letter To BP

To Whom It May Concern: 

I wish the subject were a real headline, and it easily can be. 

Please consider placing a large, permanent apology to the world in a large, bold font at the top of BP's website homepage and on every page of BP's website. Frankly, I'm shocked that there is not one in plain view. If it is because BP is not sure what to write, may I suggest, "We are intensely sorry for the potentially permanent damage and destruction that our carelessness has caused to the planet", or something to that effect.

I would like to recommend that BP own up to this mistake with more gusto. I believe it will help society to be slightly more forgiving of this dire situation.

I personally find the lack of a frank and bold apology in plain view on your website to be a direct insult to the entire planet. 

Jessica Delfino

Monday, May 24, 2010


A few weeks ago, my mother said to me, "What do you think about the BP oil spill?" She was the first person to ask me that question. "It is bad," I said. Up until then, I hadn't really given it a lot of thought. I mean, it was like I said. It is bad, and no one, not even BP executives, think it's "good". But, she planted a seed in my head that I haven't been able to shake,  like a song that is playing on repeat in my brain. I began to ask others that same question. "What do you think about the BP oil spill?" It's pretty much unanimous, no one likes it. But at a time when people can "like" and "unlike" things so easily and then disassociate themselves with one apathetic click, "unliking" this event is just not nearly enough for me. 

I grew up on, near, in and around water, in a coastal New England town. I spent some of my most important years and recall some of my best memories on the beaches, in the ocean, beside the ocean. "The Ocean" is one of my favorite songs by Led Zeppelin, and I was raised and cared for by the ocean's bounty, as my dad was a lobster middle man for probably close to 20 years. I ate so much lobster as a kid, I begged for pizza. The ocean means something to me. 

I digested those points, then, yesterday I awoke, and I sat up in bed thinking to myself, "I have to do something about the ocean." It was that sentiment which made me drag my sorry, hung over ass out of bed and get dressed, while my warm boyfriend and cat and bed tempted me and made me wish I could just sleep in. But I had to get up, because I was forcing my aloof self to go to the Green Salon, a symposium my brilliant artist activist friend Mara Haseltine brainstormed and brought to life. As we ate a vegetarian brunch, we listened to leaders in their field of research and speakers of all ages, even a few teens, talk about what they are doing to help the oceans. It was inspirational and magical. It was the medicine I needed, and the event was full of the teachers and guidance I was looking for. 

I have so much to say, I want to write so much about it, but it'd probably be about as interesting as me telling you about the dreams I had last night. But in a nut shell, I want to use my art and music and voice to save the ocean, whatever that entails, whatever that means. I am literally sickened by being a shill in this antiquated system and I want to see and encourage changes. I can't sit back any more and do nothing. From now on, I will use the power of my vagina songs for good, and I will start by no longer trivializing them and simply calling them vagina songs. Anyone who knows me and appreciates what I do knows that there is more to me and my work than that. And shame on anyone who has shared that misconception or participated in that lie. But I forgive you, and I'll hear you out if and when you're ever ready to talk about it, and learn and grow as a human being.

So, to start, if you can believe it, I've written this week's dirty folk rock SONG OF THE MONTH in line with this new plan. It's dirty, it's ribald, it is as quirky and silly as ever, and I hope it will plant an idea in some of your heads, as my mother's words did to me. I'm not exactly a hippy, I sort of hate hippies. I'm not going to start behaving in a gross hippy way, and if I do, please call me out on it. My music and art and voice is who I am and what I have to offer, what I can and will offer. I also am able bodied, and have my health and some time, so I have those things to offer, too. 

Listen in tonight at or attend 10:30 PM, The Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery, to hear the new song. If you like it, send it to a friend. 

And if this is something that is of interest to you, let me know the answers to these questions: What are you doing to help the ocean, and how can I help you? I want to hear your ideas. If you don't know what to do or how to help but want to, then get in touch and I'll let you know how you can help.

I'll leave you today with a thinker: If everybody would refrain from using public transportation or driving for ONE DAY ONLY, world wide, what kind of impact would that have on the world? What kind of message would that send? Is that something we could do, realistically? One day only -- a DON'T DRIVE day. Think about it and let me know your feedback.

Friday, May 21, 2010

TONITE: Artists In The Kitchen kicks off

Like Dumbo's open studios but in Hell's Kitchen! With performances, artists, gallery viewings and more, and it's ALL FREE, starting tonight with a free reception, open to all. I'll be performing twice as part of it, as well. Reception and my performances info below. Hope to see ya there! For map of events and more details of the festivities, visit or to go straight to the MAP, click HERE

Opening Reception: 

Skyline Hotel Ballroom
725 10th Ave.  
catered, live music DJ all sorts of dancing body painting 
gift bags for early birds
open to the public

I'll be doing full, extended Dirty Folk Rock sets on Sat & Sun: 

Sat, May 22
Artists In The Kitchen Festival
Times Square Arts Center, Theater 2
"Comedy In Song"
669 8th Ave bt 42/43
2-3 PM
*I'll be doing an hour long set!

And again:

Sunday, May 23
Artists In The Kitchen Festival
Times Square Arts Center, Theater 4
"Comedy In Song"
669 8th Ave bt 42/43
7:20 - 8 PM

I'll have CDs on hand to sell and a sharpie for which to sign your spectacular breasts with, so please bring them along. My set guarantees fun for the whole family, except for the kids. 

Thursday, May 20, 2010



Besties -- They're not just people who water your plants when you're out of town, invite you to pot lucks and clothing swaps and listen to your problems. This comedy show celebrates good friends -- who they are, why we like them and what their deal is. 

Every month, Jessica Delfino will introduce you to some of her favorite home slices who incidentally are mostly comedians, performers and loveable oddballs she's met in the last 8 years of performing all over the world. Join the party as she celebrates them in fun and strange ways. Bring  your own pals and make new ones. 

THIS MONTH: Stone & Stone, Giulia Rozzi, Chesley Calloway and more.

Also featuring house band "PUSS & BOOBS" starring Jessica as "Puss" and Lauren Oppelt as "Boobs", singing hits by Pat Benatar, Heart, Eagles, etc, while dressed in fishnets, sparkly underwear & other miscellaneous & hot what nots!

Come see the ridiculous ways she honors these amazing performers and fall in love with them yourselves. Meet her friends, make new friends, bring your friends and we'll all friend it up.

Next show: 
TONIGHT: May 20, 2010

730 pm doors open
8 pm - 9pm  show
9 pm - 10pm drinks, mingling and friend time

$5 at the door


Monday, May 17, 2010


Hey y'all! Be sure to catch the SONG OF THE MONTH club NEW SONG tonight at, 10:30 PM or shortly thereafter. I'm singing a song tonight about fellas with long hair. Is that you? If so, you won't want to miss what I have to say about you.

And if you're in the SOTM club, be sure to click THIS LINK and take my very brief questionnaire about the SONG of the MONTH club, kay? If you don't want to, that's OK, too. You can just read the questions and then write your answers to me in an email. 

I love ya, ya motha son of a gun!

Sunday, May 16, 2010


Because I don't want to be like Hoarders. A spin off of the nearby Hester Street Fair. All my stuff must go. Gorgeous vintage clothes I've been collecting for years, books, snacks, live musical performances. This and every Sunday 12-4, weather permitting. Featuring other ladies selling their wares, as well. F to East Broadway, intersection of Ludlow and Canal, at TriBeCa EAST. Look for the triangle full of cute girls.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Skits'N'Tits! New hair cut! 

If you come to Skits'N'Tits, tonight, you will possibly win a large sexy toy, you will hear a new song by me as you look at my new hair cut (hint: my long luscious locks are all gone-sies) and you will be titillated and tickled and possibly traumatized to death. Now, doesn't that sound like fun? See ya there, 308 Bowery at 10 PM, NYC. Line-up and more details below!

TONIGHT's line up: 

TONITE’S LINE UP: (order subject to change)

Please welcome the sexy stylings of LEGS MALONE!
Mother’s Day is over, but it’s not too late to get mom a gift! The SKITS’N’TITS gals advise.
Voted funny by important people with pens! You, too, will adore CLAUDIA COGAN!
He writes for SNL. He starred in a Comedy Central show. It's HANNIBAL BURESS!
This hot mama is about to make you hers. Burlesque by KATE VALENTINE!
Comedian, beauty, thinker, writer for Jimmy Kimmel, jokes by SARA SCHAEFER!
Let’s take a look back at some of the best video moments of SKITS’N’TITS!
Are your eyes open & looking at the stage? Cause hot is about to happen: DELLA DARE!
Wow! It’s finalist in the Andy Kaufman awards + well-traveled funnyman MIKE AMATO!
Ms. DIANE O’DEBRA has a few hilarious things to say, so look at her and listen to her.
Folk music with dirty lyrics, like if Joni Mitchell was raised wrong! JESSICA DELFINO!
They’re a trio of amazing, titillating, burlesque-ating ladies – THE CHI CHIONES!

STICK AROUND at MIDNITE for a DANCE PARTY and late night drinks & mingling.


Authors of: “Invisible Marketing: How to be Known as an Expert by Becoming an Author (Without Writing a Word)”
Pick up a copy of their book, loaded with comics written by “Skits” chic JESSICA DELFINO, from Duv the doorman TONIGHT!
If you purchase one for $10, you will get a code for a FREE consultation (normally $150) by
Bill & Sheila about how to write your own book! Ask Jessica about the book for more details!
Kong has a strong emphasis on females appreciating porn and comedy. Comedy + Sex =
Check out the website, read, laugh, jerk off, whatever.
SKITS’N’TITS produced monthly by Diane O’Debra, 
Steph Sabelli & Jessica Delfino    
Want to sponsor our show? 
Email us:


Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Craftermath Craft Event

Craftermath TONITE! 7-9 PM at The Dressing Room, 75a Orchard. Free event with home made flowers, crafts and jewelry, $5 beer + whiskey special, short vids on the gold framed screen, free guacamole, 2 songs by me at 8:45 PM. Come network with like-minded fun artist peeps. See ya there! More info:

Monday, May 3, 2010

The week in preview
May 3-May 8

You get a good 5 chances to see me this week. Take a chance, will ya?

PS: Today is the LAST day to vote on Song of the Month (upper right hand corner of this blog), so PLEASE don't be a schlong, vote for a song.

Tonight (Monday) May 3: Song of the Month club performance @ NYC Talent Show, 308 Bowery -- I present a new song and announce the winner of the Song of the Month club for April. Watch online or attend live, $3 admission. You can also sign up to perform. 

Wednesday May 5: Craftermath craft event: Flowers and Fauna. Presenting a new array of homemade flowers and other crafts including jewelry, cartoons and kitsch objects, a re-presentation of Monday's JD Song of the Month, video shorts on the giant gold framed screen, happy hour $5 beer and whiskey shot bargain, free admission. 7-9 PM @ The Dressing Room, 75a Orchard St. just north of Grand. 

Thursday May 6: Hipster Carnival movie fun-raiser with a babe auction, terrific raffles (such as an iPod), live performances, DJs, kissing booth and more. 7-9 PM, @ White Rabbit, 145 E. Houston, $10 includes one free drink. 

Friday May 7: Thank Cock It's Friday quirky music event starring THE Mr. Cock Lorge, the male Jessica Delfino (or am I the female Cock Lorge?). 8 PM @ Pianos, Ludlow @ Stanton, $5. 

Saturday May 8: Secret awesome late night event in Dumbo for adventure lovers, email me for details. jess delfino at yahoo dot com.

Need something to do on Sunday? May I strongly suggest you come to Keith and the Girl's bingo night at the Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery, 6 - 9:30, it's always a great time.

Don't be a dink, come see a show. Or two.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

The Room @ Zeigfeld

This event has been so over covered. I'm just glad I got to hang out with friends, because it was pretty overwhelming to be in the middle of that mess. My ex, Kurt Metzger, introduced Tommy Wiseau and Greg Sestero before the movie, and his current gf Karen (who yes, I'm friends with) and her friend Jessie were the lovely ladies on either side of Tommy, his black beauties. Tommy talked for a minute and then answered about a dozen questions, such as, "What is in your cargo pants pockets?" (Answer: It's personal!) 

The gals escorted Tommy out of the theater afterwards, as the Room-"honoring" video which starred Kurt, comedians Jay Oakerson and Rachel Feinstein, among others, played on the big screen, complete with an amazing video / music re-mix of Tommy (Johnny) saying, "I did not hit her, I did not!" I smell a summer jam. 

The entire movie screening, Greg and Tommy were in the lobby, meeting friends and fans, getting interviewed, having their photos taken, etc. while I sat in my little enclave of pals, nervous-ate popcorn, winced, laughed, gasped, and tossed the hell out of some spoons. (The set is oddly decorated with framed spoons, so whenever a spoon is spotted, the audience would launch hundreds of plastic spoons into the air. It was an amazing sight to behold.) 

After the movie, the line stretched around the block of people waiting to get pics and hugs from Tommy and Greg. This was at 2:30 or so am. 

I've heard of the movie for awhile now, and even introduced the film at a Kong Magazine screening a few months ago, but I was hosting and managing 2 floors of events, and thus, I couldn't really watch the entire movie. So it was technically the first time I got to see the film in its' entirety.

I am not really a mob mentality type, but I must admit, I'm hooked. I see the appeal. Not since "Can't Stop The Music" starring Steve Guttenberg have I seen something so magical. Not since "Ghostbusters" have I seen a movie so quotable. It's so loveably bad that it couldn't possibly be an accident. Or is it simply impossible to be that good on purpose? I'd like to see Quentin Tarantino pull it off. 

Either way, do yourself a favor -- Go see it at a late night screening next week at Village East. If you live in the woods, buy it on DVD, invite a gaggle of pals over on a Friday night, and recreate the magic at home. 

Related links: