Tuesday, March 29, 2011

for Ms. Delfino
For starters, I'm in this past Sunday's NY Post 150 best jests

I'm in super excellent company with dozens of my favorite comedians and some good pals, too. Though I check in late on the list with #133, I don't take it personally, because I'm sandwiched between such awesome peoples as Dave Hill, Bo Burnham, Rich Vos, Rachel Feinstein, Dom Irrera, Liz Miele and Claudia Cogan.

Next, my sense of style gets another high 5 from
the awesome ladies over at G.L.O.C.

The super hilarious Giulia Rozzi writes up my love of fabrics and colors in "I Love Your Style: The Jessica Delfino edition" -- don't forget to hit their hot party this Thursday night, 6-8 PM at 92Y TriBeCa. It's gonna be awesome! You will feel like a dunce if you miss it.

And one Mr. SOCE (that's Soce The Elemental Wizard)
put me in a cute Math whiz video he made.

Together, we have a conversation about the flying V's ukulele frets and how many possible chords there are, using math. It makes me sound way smarter than I actually am, thanks to the power of mathemagic.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Blast From The Past

With Easter coming up I thought I'd share this fun song. Watch it while eating Cadbury eggs or drawing pictures of bunnies to hang on your window.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Thursday, March 24, 2011


123 E. 24th St.
bet. Park / Madison
show starts promptly at 9:30 PM
ends promptly at 10:15 PM

See you there, good lookin'!

Monday, March 21, 2011

upcoming shows this week

2. I do some complicated math with SOCE and play "RUSH" on flying V ukulele
3. Fun interview I did on Pass the Carrots podcast w/ Abigoliah Schauman, Rob Stern & pals

Tue March 22
Book Club Burlesque presents: Fight Club
see the book interpreted through burlesque, comedy + more
Parkside Lounge, 8 PM

Wed March 23
Keith and the Girl podcast
I join Keith & Chemda for an afternoon of
hilarious, nail-biting chit chat. Listen and laugh.
2 PM

Thurs March 24
PLAYLIST with Jess Ben & Jess
@ The PIT Theater
123 E. 24th St. @ Park
with special guests Wayne Federman,
Stuckey & Murray and Leibya Rogers (Mindy Raf)
9:30 PM

photo: me + flying V at Gatwick airport, UK, 2006

Saturday, March 19, 2011

This Weekend's Activities

Location: Gibson Guitar
Time: ‎7:00PM
Saturday, March 19th



Love In Strange Places

party & mixer

Tonight, writers, lovers and regular people will share stories and adventures of finding love in this modern world. The idea for the show is based on the real life romance of Jessica Delfino which was recently featured in the NY Times. Jessica found her husband to be on Craigslist over 3 years ago. Featuring Elna Baker, Abiola Abrams, Margot Morsus and more!

Sunday, March 20

6-8 PM

West 3rd Commons

1 W. 3rd St.





Sunday, March 13, 2011

I'm Proud To Be A Nerd

A song I don't play out much; it has a Ghostbusters reference early on.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Quote of the Day
From the NY Times

This quote is from a story in the NY Times, "Sexy Ruses to Stop Forgetting to Remember", about how to improve your memory by associating thoughts with specific images.

“When forming images, it helps to have a dirty mind,” Foer writes. “Evolution has programmed our brains to find two things particularly interesting, and therefore memorable: jokes and sex — and especially, it seems, jokes about sex.” -- Joshua Foer, author of Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything

My kinda guy. I bet "My Pu$$y Is Magic" could help him remember a thing or two. According to this brilliant young writer, my (and other people's) ribald comedy is, in effect, helping the world. I like the way he thinks. Buy his book.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

53+ More Female Comedians Who Deserve Serious Love

I'd like to add a few more onto the list HuffPo started, just to dole some more credit while it's still International Women's Day. I've been performing comedy in NYC for almost 10 years, and I just met a lot of good female comedians. I know I'm forgetting a lot of people, too.

A comedy industry person said to me within the last 30 days, that "Festivals would love to use females, but it's just that there are no women doing comedy". (Please don't get mad at me for writing that if you are reading this, but now I must mock you anonymously :). Consider us even!)

So it feels good to see lists like the one on HuffPo and to write them, too. There truly are a shit load of us. Ok, so many of these women are more known for their music comedy or characters or improvisation, and some are dead or have quit, but they are all (or were) damn funny, internet space is free, and they've all inspired me and /or made me laugh. If you see someone who isn't on here, add them in the comments, and / or make your own list.

Sarah Jo Alloco
Adira Amram
Molly Anderson
Sue Ball
Lucille Ball
Elna Baker
Roseanne Barr
Jessie Cantrell
Carolyn Castiglia
Jacki Clarke
Claudia Cogan
Selena Coppock
Katina Corrao
Rachel Dratch
Ophira Eisenberg
Emily Epstein
Bridget Everett
Eliza Faria-Santos
Shaina Feinberg
Shayna Ferm
Myka Fox
Kimmy Gatewood
Bayne Gibby
Ilana Glazer
Erin Hall
Ann Harris
Katie Hartman
Carol Hartsell
Mara Herron
Katrin Hier
Erin Judge
Chemda Khalili
Kara Klenk
Esther Ku
Jen Kwok
Lisa Lampinelli
Heather Lawless
Jaime Lee
Margot Leitman
Sydney Maresca
Glennis McMurray
Veronica Mosey
Diane O'Debra
Tanya O'Debra
Rachel Parenta
Becky Poole
Molly Pope
Laura Prangley
Susan Prekel
Giulia Rozzi
Stephanie Sabelli
Hilary Schwartz
Eliza Skinner
Amber Tozer
Shane Webb
Mindy Raf
Carla Rhodes
Leah Rudick
Mandy Stadtmiller
Ahna Tessler
Lily Tomlin
Tracy Ullman
Ali Wong
Mae West
Jess Wood
Becky Yamamoto
Charlene Yi
Keisha Zollar
Suicide Note Practice

Just in case things go wrong in my 70s or 80s, I want to be prepared:

Dear suicide inducers (you know who you are):

For those of you who cared, thanks for taking a few minutes away from watching American Idol or House or wearing a cool hat to give a hoot's hollar about my life's work, my endless drive, my unique way of seeing things, my undeniable charisma and my actually quite remarkable good looks. But instead of busting my gourd for little to no reward®, I'm opting for a quick and painless g'bye. I'm done being treated like Wonder Woman's invisible jet (something amazing that no one can see) by those who could make my life better, and being punished for wanting to get ahead in life, thus, I've decided it's time for me to go where the wild things really are. I heard there's a heaven and a hell, and I am out of money and out of ambition, so I've decided to go look for these so called 'pearly gates' or this, how do you say, 'parlor of demons', and play for a new team. I hope one of them lets me in and it's not like when the cruel kids would pick teams in grammar school gym class. But it wouldn't shock me if I was even an outsider weirdo on the etherial plain. In the past, 'play for a new team' may've been a euphemism for being gay, but please honor my death by using it from now on to mean jumping off a bridge in the hopes of finding everlasting peace, ie:

Person 1: "Did you hear Bill's playing for a new team?"
Person 2: "Bill's gay?"
Person 1: "No, what is wrong with you? He hung himself with a very ugly tie."
Person 2: "Who's Bill again?"
Person 1: "No one, let's grab some McWendy's"

Do not shed one single solitary tear for me, not that you were going to anyway, lest your inner acid hatred burn a hole in the floor. But remember me in every 16 Handles that you enter, as that was my favorite part of living.

I'll send you a postcard from the Milky Way, which is the new, "See ya never." I can't bare the sight of you all so much I'm making my new goal the easier, more achievable one of, I'll tell Elvis you all said "hi".

To my family, thanks for everything. It was a wild ride. If my CDs ever go platinum, please split the money even Steven (even give some to Steven) and don't fight over my online cyber mansion.

Adios, siyonara, and toodle-oo.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Pork's New Slogan

According to today's Village Voice food blog in an article written by Lauren Shockey, the National Pork Board (I can't believe that is something that exists) has changed it's slogan to "Pork Be Inspired". I don't even know what that means. It sounds like it's supposed to be some kind of pun, but I can't for the life of me wrap my brain around what it could be a pun of. Is it, "I'll be damned?" or "Luck be a lady?" I give up. Lauren writes, '...it's obviously because "Pork: The Other White Meat" is so racist sounding.' Funny and true.

She came up with a few better slogans for pork, and I'd like to try my hand at it as well, from my perhaps slightly more vegetarian point of view:

Pork: Why Is This A Food?
Pork: Surely A Contributing Factor of Heart Disease
Pork: Why America's So Fat
Pork: It's Good But It Hurts My Conscience To Eat It
Pork: I Can Think of 100 Other Non-Animal-Based Foods That Are Just As Satisfying

So now that I've shared my smarmy, holier than thou 10 cents (inflation), feel free to add some of your stabs at a pork slogan in the comments below. And go eat a salad!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

I'm Seinfeld's marriage counselor in today's NY POST

This was a fun thing -- I was asked to comment on different issues in the Seinfeld's marriage in today's NY Post in an article written by Mandy Stadtmiller, along with really hilarious comedians Kurt Metzger (fun fact, Kurt is my ex and I almost married him) and Jim Florentine. It was fun and a bit scary to be asked to judge one of the most powerful comedians in the world's marriage. He could probably destroy my entire career with a whisper. So I hunkered down and tried to just focus on being funny and having fun, and not censoring myself just because I was scared I might piss off a comedy god, or even worse, his wife.

It's OK, the NY Post got me back for any offenses I may have made by using the most god awful photo of me ever taken. It really should be destroyed. I look like I'm having a stroke in the photo. It's really a bad picture. Of course, Kurt and Jim both look normal and fine. Oh, life, you bastard.

Check out the article HERE. I think I'd be a good relationship counselor after the hell I've been through, romanticals-wise. If you agree, write to NBC and tell them to have me on the show as a comedian guest counselor. Maybe you can do that HERE.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Lil' Seany Boy Show
Sat March 5

Come on and check out my new jokes and a few old but loveable tunes at the Lil' Seany Boy Show tonight at 8 PM, and it's free.

Here's the FB invite. See you tonight at:

Lil' Seany Boy Show
@ The (New!) PIT Theater
123 E. 24 St. btw. Park / Lex
8 PM

with Glennis McMurray, Wayne Federman and others. It's gonna be a good one.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Giddy Multitude Burlesque & Variety Show:

Going Mad!

Tonight, I'll be performing at The Giddy Multitude show alongside Johnny Blazes and Madge of Honor, Harrison Greenbaum, Doctor Princess Lady Scoutington, Anna Leuchtenberger, and more. Shenanigans happily provided by your host, Busty Kitten. They also provide delicious homemade treats, cheap drinks, free drinks, trivia, and terrific raffle prizes. It's a cheap, fun night out. There will be mayhem. Bring your helmet.

Thursday March 3rd
8 pm
WOW Cafe Theatre
59-61 E. 4th St, NYC
$10 at the door, or $7 if you come in themed costume