Tuesday, August 28, 2007

I'm In London!

Wow, the Edinburgh Festival was a sordid, bittersweet adventure that I don't know if I'll want to take again next year, but the future's so bright, I'm wearing atom bomb goggles. So, let's see what happens.

I'm in London now and here are the shows I have scheduled. I'm in good hands, staying at a friend's place in North London with all the bells and whistles one could hope for. I rode here with Phil Kay. His car broke down momentarily on the side of the road. We stopped to take a nap right in front of Killerby's Farm, and when we woke, the car wouldn't start. Don't get any ideas or make any jokes about us doing it in the back seat, the Saab was so full of dings and dongs, I barely had room to take a proper breath. But what a fun ride! We finally got the car to start once the clever tow truck driver showed up with the knowledge needed to make it happen.

If you are a friend / fan / rabblerouser and would like to entertain the idea of entertaining me during my stay here, please email me at jessdelfino@yahoo.com or myspace.com/jessydelfino. If you have a POOL or access to one, let's be friends and share some aqua related water adventures.

Here are my scheduled shows:

Saturday, Sept. 1st
Rachel Trachtenburg Morning Show
Soho Theater
21 Dean Street
11 AM
10 pounds (my computer doesn't have that fancy "L" button)

Saturday, Sept. 1st
as part of a Freeport Records Event
@ Soho Review Bar

Sunday, Sept. 2nd:
126 York Way
18 O'Clock (6 PM)

Tuesday, Sept. 4th:
Good Ship
298 Kilburn High Rd.
8 PM - 11 PM
with Ben Tucker and other performers

Sunday, Sept. 9th
with Holly Walsh
More info to come on that one!!

Rachel's show again on the 8th and 15th
11 AM

Drop by and pick up a pair of my hand-detailed knickers sporting your favorite Jessica Delfino song quotes, 4 pounds each!

Sunday, August 19, 2007


So, I'm sitting in the computer room / VIP lounge here at The Green Room. This hang out spot reminds me of a college cafeteria in some ways, except the main course is whiskey and cobra beers. Mixed together. Actually, that reminds me of college, too.

My shows have been going pretty strangely. One night there are fourty people in the audience who wear their hatred for me like lapels on their coat pockets. Other nights there are eight of the most amazing, entertained people I've ever had the pleasure of titillating.

This festival has almost been a complete disaster. If my attitude were a little worse, I might have started taking prescription medication by now. But actually, I have been medicating myself...in a way...

I've gotten four reviews -- five if you count the shout out one journalist gave me for being their "favorite part" of Rachel Trachtenburg's morning show, which, by the way, has gotten better press than most people's shows.

Here they are:

Songs About Vaginas
Jessica Delfino

Three Weeks

Listening to Jessica Delfino in action is just like going down a deep, dark, disgusting hole with a smile. But only a smile, because this is amusing and winsome rather than laugh out loud funny - although she does have her moments. But enough cheap innuendo, because Miss Delfino is way past euphemisms. It's hard to be offended by someone who sings with her bizarre brand of manic innocence. And if you are offended...well what exactly were you expecting? I get the feeling that ladies may appreciate her loopy, but strangely knowing observations more - since many men will most likely settle for the cheap titillation value. It's disgusting, it's dirty and deep down, it's what you really, really want.

Rating: 3 out of 5

The Scotsman

I didn't just want a drink when I left this irritating little show, I wanted a radical hysterectomy. "If My Vagina Could Talk It Would Call Your Dick An Asshole," trills the most compelling advert for Sharia Law I have ever seen. WHen you see the horrors it can lead to, you realise oestrogen should be a Class A drug. (UK spellings are left in tact for the UK curious)

Rating: 1 out of 5

NOTE: This review was written by Kate Copstick, a notoriously evil woman-hating failed (ex) stand-up comedian uptight lesbian journalist. For the record, most lesbians do not like my act. They are made too uncomfortable by the fearlessness, openness and honesty which lies at the heart of what I do. Gay men, however, love it, because they love their vaginas. After she saw my show, she went to the bar where she proceeded to trash my show to anyone who would listen. The next morning, she went onto her radio show on the BBC and trashed it on the air for another full ten minutes. My show was packed the next night. Thanks, Kate! When will the powers that be learn that negative energy only helps my career?


Dirty but clever, shocking but sweet, sassy New Yorker Delfino dances a very funny line between girly and filthy with Songs About Vaginas. We are treated to sunny songs including "My Pussy Is Magic" but rather than smut for the sake of it, she uses her front bottom songbook to deal with emotionally charged break ups, inhibitions and unemployment. Her deadpan style lets her get away with murder.

Rating: 3 out of 5


The chosen venue, a small room within the Green Room, is certainly suited to the performance. Small, cave-like, hot and steamy it feels so intimate, like we are entering Jessica's own womb.

Jessica is a confident and beautiful woman who appears to have taken a keen interest in her own sexuality and is happy to share her thoughts on the matter.

As she begins her first live song singing the words, "If My Vagina Could Talk...", we get the impression the vagina, in her eyes, is its own separate entity and deserves all the attention that she gives it. This notion seems supported by the dialogue between herself and the larger than life vagina that accompanies her for the show.

As a performer, she is skilled in her art. Her voice is a pleasure to hear that bares more than a passing resemblance to a young Joni Mitchell, sweet and powerful, and it complements her clever, humorous and satirical songs beautifully. The audience giggles uncontrollably throughout and loudest at a song about leaving her partner due to their inability to give good oral sex.

Jessica Delfino is an artist and an entertainer. She senses her audience's mood and works with it. It would be interesting to see her play to a larger audience as the impression is that there is a lot more to this woman than a small hot room and a small sedated audience.

Rating: 4 out of 5

So, those are my reviews thus far. I've heard the last week gets even wilder, review wise and other wise.

Reggie Watts' late night shows have been packed and awesome for the whole festival, consistently good times. Paul Provenza quit his run of shows that he was doing here. Rick Shapiro got completely naked on one of Paul's shows, that was lots of fun.

In other gossip and festival news, Christopher officially broke up with me so now I am a single woman. He broke up with me on the second day of the festival. I've really been trying to break up with him for over two years now, so he really just finally gave me my way.

If you've been wanting to send me love letters, sweet nothings and fan mail but have been waiting, now is the time. My ego and heart are in the gutter (where my mind has been hanging out alone for awhile now) and i could use a little cheering up.

I'll be in London Sept. 1 - 17th doing shows there, so check my blog for more details...

Monday, August 13, 2007

The Trip From Hell

Edinburgh, though beautiful and mild, has been almost a complete disaster. It started sucking in NYC when I was rushing for the train and one heart from my favorite pair of pink heart earrings slipped off my ear, fell to the ground and cracked in half. I took that broken heart to be a bad omen. How could I not? The nasty mojo carried on with me to the plane and straight into Dublin. The festival there was fun but of course I was treated like a leper by certain uptight dick wads with my inappropriate brightly colored clothing and my songs about vaginas.

I had some really good sets at the International Bar, even though my one big show at the Bud Light Festival, thanks in part to technical difficulties, was an atrocity.
And I sold lots of "My Pussy Is Magic" panties, which was encouraging.

My friend, who I was supposed to drive to Edinburgh with, changed his plans and it turned out I'd have to fly from Dublin instead. Anyone who knows me knows that flying is my least favorite thing to do. Ever.

Luckily, I got to fly with England-based performer Dr. CocacolaMcDonalds, who I like very much. He reminded me of America, which at this point, I was almost beginning to miss. No one or thing can abuse me and get away with it the way that NYC does.

That's just the beginning of this shit storm. But writing this is depressing me. So more later, including my first review and what it said...can you guess?