Saturday, May 29, 2004

The Theater for the New City is having a FREE festival all weekend long featuring music, comedy, art, more art, performance art, all kinds of crap and it's free. It's outside all day today (Saturday) until about 5:30. I'm specifically interested in seeing Joe Bendik and a few others.

I'm going to be doing a show at the Laugh Lounge on Tuesday, June 1st. The Laugh Lounge is on Essex between Stanton and Rivington. It's a cute little hut. It should be fun. Please come and heckle me.

Why are poor people so fertile? Twins are never poor. Rich people take fertility drugs.

It's Memorial Day weekend, so I thought I'd compile a list of fun things to do on this special, special weekend:

- Try eating meat if you are a vegetarian. Go to a barbecue and pretend in your head that you are eating a hotdog made of pure vegetables, you know, onions and tomato chunks and what not. Put ketchup on it and relish, and bite hard. Swallow. Vomit. Repeat. When you get home, say a prayer to the animal gods asking forgiveness. Return to vegetarianism over a pint of Ben & Jerry's (vegetarian) New York Super Fudge Chunk. Write a letter to God and throw it in the river.

- Wear shoes that are white, but sprinkled with a few drops of blood. Just for shits and giggles! Unsure where to get blood from? Simply slice your hand or knee cap with a sharp kitchen knife or razor blade. Pretend you are making a sacrifice to satan to better your career to ease the physical pain. While you're doing this cutting/bleeding ceremony, might as well actually ask satan if he can make your life start getting better. It couldn't hurt anything, could it?

- Wear a bikini to the grocery store to buy more beer. When you get to the store, instead of buying beer, steal a six pack of O'Douls, just to see if you can get away with it! Stick it into your bikini bottoms or purse and if you get busted by security, which you may or may not, depending on how many inmates are working that day on work-release, just tell them that Jane's Addiction is your favorite band, you are dying of cancer and your last final wish was to steal a six pack of O'Douls. I think they'll understand. Inmates can usually relate.

- Make out with a sailor using someone else's tongue. Drink a tall glass of whiskey afterwards to clean your mouth of germs and foul language.

- Call your parents and accuse them of never having loved you.

- Clean the grill, you lazy fucking half-straight half-fag!

Have a lovely Memorial Day, and remember - Memorial Day is all about memorializing memories. So get to it!

Monday, May 24, 2004


Ass-scrubber - This job entails a lot of hard work and pays very little. The person who owns this job title can plan to be armed with a wire brush with which they would have to move said brush back and forth in a east/west direction, a horizontal manner, across the ass area. It is a very dirty job with many risks, including disease/death/dismemberment.

Dick-polisher - While very hard to find openings in this field, the dick-polisher, once hired, can generally expect to hold this position for life. In many instances, the dick-polisher is employed in the sex industry where they spend countless hours polishing dicks. This is usually done with a rag or cloth, covered in some kind of polish or saliva may also be used in some rare instances. Many employed in this industry have referred to this job as "...exhausting, but a lot of fun."

Fucker-boy - As a fucker-boy, said boy is responsible for fucking and/or being fucked. This position is closed to females, making it something of an illegal occupation according to fair employment laws recently passed within the last fifty or so years. Fucker boys can make a lot of money and are also sometimes paid in things, like popular books off the New York Times Bestseller list or VCR's. This is a great job to try to get if you have recently moved into a new apartment and need to decorate.

Ball bag tickler
- Being a ball bag tickler, despite the amusing, light hearted name, is hard work, to say the least. One is required to first locate the ball bag, which in some cases can be nearly impossible, and then at that time, they are required to tickle it. Tickling is something that is subject to style and manner by each particular tickler (that was poetry, just there) but once the style has been developed, the job is almost half way completed. TRUE FACT: Many politicians began their careers as ball bag ticklers.

Pussy fixer - Where do you go when your pussy is broken? To those of you who don't know, you go to the pussy fixer. (tm) The pussy fixer is similar to a gynecologist or "vagina" "doctor" but with less certification, education, and salary than a regular gynecologist or "vagina" "doctor." Being a pussy fixer is a very rewarding job, however, as each fixer gets the delight and pleasure of viewing literally millions of vaginas in his or her lifetime. The pussy fixer also gets use of many special tools, including the pussy fixing hammer, the pussy repairing saw, and a special screw driver that only works on pussies.

BIRTHDAY PARTY Jessica Delfino's 28th B-DAY!!!!!!!

I'm having a birthday party on June 8th (Tuesday) at 7 PM. It is going to be a theme party of sorts, the theme being: "Write me a crappy poem on the topic, 'Are you glad I was born?' People will then be able to perform the poems aloud and it should be lots of good fun. There will also be other performances and food. Bring your own booze, mostly. If you are my friend, you are invited. If you are not my friend, maybe you should come anyway, but only if you aren't a jerk. The party will be at 63 Pitt St. #5F, on the roof deck. (Between Rivington and Stanton) Pitt St. is Ave C south of Houston. Take the F to Delancey and walk east on Rivington about 4 blocks. It's in the lower east side.

Come on, fags!

Please RSVP if you plan to attend at Please invite friends, but also ask them to RSVP because I asked you nicely with a please with a capital "P".

Saturday, May 22, 2004

via Delfino

(This is the last political rant/diatribe that will be posted about this [hopefully] so get your eye-full while you can, you political anti-delfino/brodeur dorks. The following essay is by Christopher Brodeur.)

[Here is an essay that is unfinished b/c the editors at NYPress only
used a little of it]

monkey can call me "nuts" or any other childish insult. Can you disprove my
points? Put up or shut up.]




This is not a story about Rudy Giuliani.

This is a story about a society so desperate for a happy ending that
they willingly lie to themselves and choose to believe the most insane
fantasies imaginable. (The story of Jesus comes to mind: Almighty "God," creator
of the universe, couldn’t figure out a more rational or sensible way to
"save" the human race than to create a human son to be whipped & nailed to a
cross?? You can’t find me a certified lunatic in any mental hospital
who could tell a more deranged tale, yet a billion earthlings ate this
stupidity up!)

Rudy Giuliani is LIKE a god.

His incredulous achievements brought smiles to the faces of millions,
who were uninterested in common sense or the little fact that everything he
said was an obvious lie. They simply wanted to believe that he was a
superhero who decimated crime & cleaned up NYC (though these myths were all
proven false again & again.)

And on September 11th, they were more desperate for a hero than ever
before. And any hero would do.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * ** * * ** **

YOU PROBABLY DON’T REMEMBER THIS, but the FIRST terrorist bombing of
the WTC – in Jan 1993 – was not a "surprise," but rather a miserable failure by
incompetent law enforcement agencies like the CIA, the FBI, & the NYPD.
(Sound familiar?)

Raiding a Jersey apartment where middle east terrorists were planning
attacks, [in 1992?] the Keystone Kops discovered blueprints for the WTC
complex & the underground parking garage in the Twin Towers (!) but our
moron government never bothered to wonder why. (Should I remind you
that the WTC housed many government agencies that were clearly a target of
terrorists?) (DUH.) And in broad daylight that January morning,
terrorists simply drove a rental truck stocked with explosives right into the
garage below the towers and let it rip, murdering 5 innocent people and
injuring many, many more.

Within the year, superhero Rudy Giuliani was elected mayor and he
proceeded to do nothing to prevent the next attack (which, um, the terrorists,

In fact, Giuliani did the EXACT OPPOSITE, doing everything within his
power to encourage MORE terrorism. (Shades of Bush’s ‘Bring it on’ ?)
For example, on every occasion, the terrorists claimed their main
motive was to punish American imperialism for its "unfair" support of Israel,
so what did Rudy – representing 8 million New Yorkers – do? He tried to
win points with the Jewish community (who can make or break a politician’s
career in this town) by repeatedly attacking the Palestinian community
as often as possible. Clever plan, Mr. Mayor!

Case in point: psycho panderer Giuliani had Yassir Arafat removed (with
great hostility and ugliness) from a United Nations event for the lone
purpose of showboating. (Rudy claimed he didn’t want someone who funds
terrorists around, which is mildly ironic considering he never did the
same for Reagan, Clinton, or the Bush boys (all of whom admitted to funding
& training Al Qaeda,) but the little details are boring, aren’t they?)

Just as Giuliani treated black & chinese communities like garbage (b/c
poor people are of no use to his lifelong plan of becoming America’s first
Italian-American president) he shit on all arab communities at every
opportunity. Case in point: he attended every PRO-ISRAEL rally and
boycotted every PRO-PALESTINIAN rally. All New Yorkers should see the video at
one giant pro-Palestinian rally in front of the UN where the speaker
pleads, "Where are you, Mayor Giuliani? I thought you said you represent ALL of
NY"? (Do you remember that when Rudy got elected, he fired all the City Hall
Community Liasons except the one liason… to the jewish community?)

The terrorists made it clearly known what exactly inspired their
violence and Rudy did all he could to inspire more of it, by rubbing his total
support for Israel in their faces as much as possible. (He even
regularly boasted that he’d only left the USA 4 times as mayor and 3 of those
times were trips to… Israel!) (New York has just as many Asians as Jews, but
Rudy didn’t bother their homelands to show support a single time!)

But enough of his efforts to inspire terrorists to kill innocent New
Yorkers exactly as they had done 10 months before. There’re too many examples
of him encouraging terrorism in a hundred ways to talk about here.

Now let me remind your shitty memories of one more scandal that helped
foster the death of 3,000 people on that gorgeous day: Rudy’s Emergency
Management Center - "the bunker" – which was suspiciously moved from
its state-of-the-art headquarters below One Police Plaza into 7 World
Trade Center. (Even the Giuliani sycophants at the NYPost told Rudy this was
the most moronic place in the 5 boroughs to place it.)

The entire city called this a retarded and foolish waste of many
millions of tax dollars, but Rudy said they were all wrong and that he needed to
spend all this money because his new bunker would "save lives" in an
emergency. (Keep this in mind, because later I’ll tell you about a really BIG
emergency where two jets crash into the towers and Rudy’s superbunker had to be
evacuated because, well, it was on, um, FIRE. Turns out Rudy’s superbunker
destroyed the entire 47 story-skyscraper b/c he illegally put a 6,000-gallon
tank of fuel in the LOBBY of the building!) Today, Rudy will only say he
made a "mistake", but according to his own rhetoric, many people (like 343
firemen for example) LOST THEIR LIVES THAT DAY b/c of the miscommunication
between rescue teams and different agencies in total chaos and confusion.
(How about that announcement telling people to stay put in the towers,
Rudy?) If he promised the bunker’s existence would SAVE lives, then the
math says that his bunker’s enflamed absence COST lives.

But wait… it gets worse:

[I’d love to include the facts about him moving the bunker there to
line Larry Silverstein---his largest campaign contributor----pocket’s but
you guys already have all that from my pamphlet. What do you think? I
think it’s crucial stuff b/c it shows his efforts were DELIBERATELY CROOKED
and were not a "mistake" in any way. ]


But enough about his pre-9/11 scandals. Let’s cut straight to September
11th, when even some of Giuliani’s biggest critics said his behavior
was fantastic and his "leadership" was spot on. (I’m not one of them of
course, b/c I think failing to prevent the murder of 3,000 New Yorkers in one
hour demonstrates the total ABSENCE of leadership, but I’m weird like that.)
(Heck, even Giuliani agrees with me, b/c he blamed Koch & Dinkins for
every murder while they were mayor, meaning that – according to his own
criteria – he’s the worst mayor in all American history!)

HE "CONSOLED GRIEVING FAMILIES. Worked tirelessly, almost around the
clock. He walked thru hospitals and triage sites. And assured a shocked city
again and again that its skyline, like the sun, would rise again." wrote the
Daily News, baffling anyone who hadn’t left their brain behind, as none of
these things are remotely extraordinary. (Did he help dig out victims or do
any actual work at all, like the poor volunteers who now all have
respiratory problems?) (Even more embarassing: Rudy now demands that our skyline
should NEVER rise again, flip-flopping his pandering in favor of the victims’
families who want the site to only hold a memorial graveyard.) But on
9/11, EVERYONE left their brains behind. It all happened so fast.

There was no time for anyone to go back for their brains.

[there’s SO MANY DIFFERENT scandals involved and they’re all TKOs, like
the radios he knew didn’t work which left firemen stranded to die, or the
lie in his book where he claims all the firemen DID hear the "evacuate!!" call
but they bravely chose to die in the towers!!! Firemen were furious about
this b/c they’ve already proven that the radios didn’t work, and they hadn’t
in the first WTC bombing!! Most humans still don’t know that the NYPD
COLLAPSE". Most people still think it was a surprise and that’s why so
many rescue workers got killed! They got killed, BECAUSE THE NYPD AND THE
FDNY DON’T WORK TOGETHER !!! And this is still the case today. No one told
the FDNY that the tower was going to collapse!! There is SOOOO much dirty
gold on this crook and no one will touch the sacred cow! Why do you think
I’m so obsessed with him? Because I just don’t like his haircut?????]

= = = = = == =


not come up in your "drills"? (Don’t forget: lots of people were rescued
via the roof in the ’93 bombing thanks to helicopters.) (I’ve seen the video
from the police helicopters on 9/11; not only could they land but the pilots
reported this out loud. They could have easily saved some lives and
Rudy can’t begin to claim it was too risky b/c the job of the Police Dept is
to RISK THEIR LIVES TO SAVE OTHERS. Rudy left a thousand people trapped on
the upper floors to die.)

BIGGEST CRIME SCENE IN U.S. HISTORY. Then you got caught lying when you said no
one told you to keep the evidence (as engineering groups and victims’
families testifid tto FEMA and Congress). Considering engineers said YOUR
NEGLIGENCE ALONE destroyed 7 WTC (the only other building to completely collapse
besides the towers) it almost looks like you want to cover something
up. Could you please explain this all to us? (Rudy’s point man used the
excuse that "fresh kills was sinking" so they had to get rid of all of the

RATHER THAN AT THE BOTTOM where they have to climb UP 80 flights of
stairs? Your "plan" wastes precious time and the firemen are dead exhausted
before they even BEGIN to fight the fire!! [Remember guys: the towers ONLY
collapsed b/c Rudy’s plan let the fires burn freely. The flames took
their sweet ass time melting the supports. It’s not radical when I say Rudy
killed half those people. It’s engineering and firefighting FACT.]

FIREFIGHTING HELICOPTERS? Airports use foam to extinguish jet fuel
blazes quickly, and California uses helicopters to fight forest fires. And
even after your plan COMPLETELY FAILED on 9/11, you refused to change almost
any of your procedures. [I’d love to list specifics.]

[YOU GET THE IDEA. I’ve got about 25 of these.]

[NOTE: Rudy will weasel out of any tough questions he gets from the
commission b/c no one KNOWS THE DETAILS, so you really can’t do a
300-word piece about this. The REAL DETAILS are crucial.]

[NOTE: I’d love to throw in some whoppers that the Commission would
never ask (and probably shouldn’t anyhow) like:




[We also should really point out to all the dumb humans that the entire
stated purpose of Giuliani Partners was to make Giuliani himself
RICHER, by helping make big business RICHER! That’s hardly heroic or noble in any
way. That’s as unChristian as you can get! He became rich thanks to OTHER
people’s sacrifices and society should demand that his riches go to
charity or to the firemen and cops he stiffed pay-wise for years.]

TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT MORE OR LESS OF, ASAP. (And try not to choke this
time, boys.)


= = = = = = = = = = =
Here’s some more shit…

[SOURCES are mostly mainstream media. NEWSDAY broke the FULL story on
the melted steel scandal, but lots of people in the media reported some of
it (while keeping Rudy’s name out of it often). Ditto most of this stuff.
Remember that I’ve watched hundreds of his press conferences on video,
going back to 1972!! (You should see his combover back then!) And I’ve also
listened to all his radio shows, and taped some of them so some of this
you won’t be able to Nexus. And if you fuckers doubt me on anything then
don’t choke b/c I’m always fucking right and I’ll give you more backup. (Of
course, even if I MADE UP a bunch of shit, you could just cry Jayson
Blair and fire me, so don’t even PRETEND that you need Nexus confirmation for
everything b/c Nexus is filled with bullshit like "Jessica Lynch kicked
ass in Iraq". Nexus is massive bullshit.]

[TI HUA CHANG FROM NBC LOCAL NEWS did the only honest broadcast I saw
of the true story behind the bunker and how Rudy lied about everything.
Needless to say, the rest of the media refused to pick it up. Williams Cole at
Kvideo might even be able to pull up that indepth tv news investigation of the
bunker scandal. They also have my notes on all the news broadcasts and
press conferences. They also have an extensive file of news clippings on ALL
THINGS Giuliani including all post-9/11 shit that I compiled. That was
my job there. I monitored the media for them and documented all the stuff
and this is one reason I know of thousands of his scandals.] [The reason he
escaped unscathed is because the media usually kept his name out of it,
instead blaming "the city" or "city hall" for fucking up.]

[NOTE: 5 years of notes on Giuliani I had were in my bag which was
stolen in 2002. How superironic. Sorry I claimed you didn’t lower crime in them
notes! There is a lot more dirt than this but I’m just listing the crap that
comes immediately to mind cuz I can’t find the other notes I still have. And
there are actually a lot more scandals than I say there are. For example,
many downtown Nyorkers were furious that Giuliani was ignoring their pleas
for help and different types of aid and some local papers (like The
Villager) even wrote editorials criticizing all of this shit by Rudy. This is
shit the main media didn’t pick up because it was a time of "UNITY", and we
must stand behind our leaders no matter what cuz this is war. They covered
lots of shit up. There’s so much I don’t even know about yet.]

[YOUR INTRO should also mention the ignored fact that Rudy shut down
everything below 14th street for days, forcing thousands of businesses
to lose millions of dollars b/c they couldn’t get deliveries to restock as
people bought up tons of backup supplies. You couldn’t even buy a
newspaper below most of 14th street for several days until Rudy finally woke the
fuck up and realized there was no reason to COMPLETELY shut down the East
Village when Ground Zero and all access roads blah blah blah were nowhere near
the LES and EV (and WV and SOHO and even most of Tribeca, and Chinatown). I
couldn’t go to work for a week because my bosses couldn’t open their
office up at Bway and Houston!! Osama didn’t hurt these businesses--- Rudy’s
brainless military kneejerk did. And if had time, you could uncover
many more scandals. No one even likes to talk about the fact that all the
firemen HATE Rudy because he used them and abused them so many times before AND
after 9/11. ]

I’m busy with a ton of shit so this is real sloppy and hapdash. (Not
factually. Just conceptually.)

* * * * * * FILE: MASSIVE MANAGEMENT FAILURE * * * * * * * * *


Engineers seem to all agree that the reason the towers collapsed was
because the fire LEISURELY burned thru the steel supports holding up the floors
for over an hour. Considering your firefighting/terrorism-response plans
would take and hour and a half to implement – according to your own fire dept
[who claim it takes one minute for a fireman to go up each flight of stairs
with equipment on their backs] – is it safe to say your lack of leadership
may be responsible for the total collapse of both towers?

Did it not occur to you or any of your rescue team that leaving a jet
fuel fire burning freely might weaken the steel supports for the floors and
if so, what did you do about this? If not, why didn’t your "emergency
management team" have any specialists or contact any specialists to ask
if the towers would collapse, given that, um, they’d both been hit by
large jets?

Oddly enough, 7WTC was the ONLY other building to totally collapse and
it wasn’t hit by any jet, and this total collapse has been demonstrated to
be your fault ALONE thanks to your illegal fuel tanks in the building’s
lobby. Are you responsible for this ? Did you know that the dangerous location
of your fuel tank was illegal? Who approved the illegal gas tank you had
put in the office lobby ?

All engineers seem to believe that it was your illegal placement of a
6,000 gallon tank of fuel in the lobby of 7WTC that destroyed your emergency
management center and the rest of the entire building. Do you think
they’re wrong and why? And if not, what kind of responsibility do you
personally take for this or will the taxpayer foot the bill for the destruction of
a private office tower your negligence destroyed?

By all accounts except for yours, the Emergency Management Center – the
"bunker" - which responds to any major crisis in NYC, from weather
disasters to terrorism – had a STATE OF THE ART HEADQUARTERS safely in the
basement of One Police Plaza, but you felt you had to move it to a private building
owned by your largest campaign contributor, increasing taxpayer expense
100% and giving millions of tax dollars to this contributor. Is it true that
you did this so the NYPD, or a Commissioner Bratton, would not get all the
attention in a crisis, as it’s well known that you fired Bratton for
his getting more attention for fighting crime than you did, right? (Or did
Bratton lie about you? Why do you NOW claim he "resigned"?)

Why did you move the bunker to a place that had already been bombed

Didn’t you start to wonder about the wisdom of your plan when even all
your ALLIES attacked it as stupid and dangerous?

With the benefit of hindsight, do you think your "mistake", as you now
call your plan of moving the bunker to 7WTC, possibly contributed to the
death toll in any way, considering that you yourself said the bunker was
crucial to the most efficient and organized response, and everyone has
testified that there was no leadership that morning.

Would there have been more organization if your expensive "emergency
management center" hadn’t been on fire? Or do you believe that your
emergency management center was worthless and unnecessary, and its
absence played no part in the chaos and lack of communication between agencies
which is partially responsible for 343 dead firemen? Doesn’t it seem that no
"emergency management center", means there is not really any "management"
going on?

It’s been well-established that chaos ran wild on the morning of
September 11th, because there was no organization of rescue teams. Why did the
fire department not get the police department’s warnings that the towers
were going to fall? Why did your "emergency management team" never get these
two crucial departments to work together, even 9 YEARS after the last WTC
bombing?? And is it true that, to this day, the fire department and
police department still do not have any plans on coordination during an
emergency? And is it safe to say that YOU were in charge of these two departments
and that any failure ultimately is your responsibility or is it your belief
that you weren’t actually in charge and therefore aren’t responsible? Were
you in charge or not?

Is it true that you spent most of the time during the morning of 9/11
trying to find a way out of basements you got trapped in and that you were not
really in charge at those times? You've said before that you all had to
spend most of your time changing the location of your temporary
"command center" because the real one was on fire. Which is it? How were you
running things if your command center never got set up??

The video we saw shows you looking dazed and confused walking up Church
street not long after the second tower collapsed and you tell your team
"let’s head to City Hall!" and Bernie Kerik, your police commissioner,
says "Let’s NOT" because he knew that public buildings were being attacked
and so City Hall would be a dumb place to go. Is the video accurate? And did
you know that they were attacking governmental buildings or not? If you
knew this, then why did you suggest City Hall? And could you have used the
old Emergency Management Center below One Police Plaza or was that building
on fire like 7WTC? Please, Mr. Giuliani, don’t get angry, just answer the
questions. It is our job to find out where the mismanagement and errors
were before and during the attacks of 9/11. Your behavior on that day and
before it is crucial to our investigation. So tell us, did you suggest going
to City Hall AFTER you had heard they attacked the Pentagon, and the State
Dept [a widely reported mistake] or did you not? We need to uncover where
the mismanagement lies.


Were you or were you not aware that the terrorists had said they would
return to collapse the Twin Towers?

When the terrorists said they wanted to topple the Twin Towers, did it
ever occur to you that they might try to topple them from the air rather
than the ground, (especially since the idea of planes as bombs was clearly all
over our intelligence agencies’ reports as our hearings in DC
overwhelmingly proved). If no, why not. If yes, what did you do to address and
prevent this?

Considering the towers were already bombed once, how often did you
communicate with the FBI and CIA on the matter of terrorism plots and
preventing the next attack on the WTC?

Knowing that the terrorists wanted to raze the towers – as they
admitted during their trial – why didn’t you consider all possible ways to
topple the buildings and protect the 50,000 people who work in them? Why didn’t
the FBI and CIA? Did no one at either of these agencies EVER suggest you
all come up with some prevention plans or response plans for a plane crash?
Didn’t you have ANY plan in case of an ACCIDENTAL plane crash,
considering it’s happened before to skyscrapers? What was that plan?

Were you aware that at least one Port Authority employee testified in
public hearings after the 1993 bombing of the WTC that there should be a plan
to prevent / deal with a jet being deliberately flown into the Twin Towers
and if not, WHY? You were elected less than a year after the first
bombing, correct? Was this not an issue of grave concern for you to make sure
never happened again? And why did not one person in your entire staff or
yourself or your expensive "emergency management team" ever consider the
possibility of using a jet to achieve their well-known goal of razing the towers?
Does this sound like leadership, or negligence to you, Mr. Giuliani? Please,
Mr. Giuliani! 3,000 people were murdered and we’re trying to find out
everything that went wrong to learn from past mistakes!

Please answer the questions!

You have repeatedly said the terrorists attacked NYC and D.C. because
"they hate America’s freedom". Are you then testifying - under oath - that
you had never heard them claim – on thousands of occasions - that
America’s support for Israel was their real motive? (And can you provide as
single statement by any terrorist organization that they want to destroy us
because of our freedom or did you just make this up?) If no, then were you
asleep at the wheel under a rock? Why weren’t you paying atttention to
terrorism? Was that not a focus of you or your emergency management team? If yes,
then why did you so often say you fully support Israel and not the
Palestinians, knowing THIS inflamed the terrorists?

Why have you repeatedly bragged in public that three of the four times
you left NYC as mayor were to Israel? Why was that nation more special than
anywhere else there are human rights struggles or violence?

When you were number 3 in Reagan’s Justice Department in the 1980s,
were you aware that the CIA was training and funding terrorist cells all around
the world, including al Qaeda? Please, just answer the question, Mr.

You often boasted that you had Yassir Arafat aggressively removed from
a concert in Lincoln Center that he was entitled to attend. What did your
ejection accomplish, and do you think this pointless grandstanding
inflamed terrorists toward NYC or diffused terrorist attentions?

You’ve said Arafat funds and trains terrorists and that’s why he must
be removed but are you then testifying that you never knew our CIA funds
terrorists or that you’ve never heard of the "School of the Americas"?
PLEASE, Mr. Giuliani! We are trying to prevent future conflict, so we
need to examine the motives of the terrorists as well as the politicians who
turned terrorists against innocent american civilians!

Why didn’t you remove any other well-known terror supporters?


Why did you claim in your book that the firemen’s radios DID work and
that they stayed to die by choice when many firemen had already testified
that their radios failed, and especially considering that THE SAME RADIOS

Why were you using radios that had already failed when you knew another
attack on the towers was imminent? Or are you saying you badly
miscalculated that the WTC would be attacked again? We now know there were many
"intelligence" reports about plans to hit the WTC again, but were you
weren’t aware of ANY of them? Weren’t you preparing for the next

Do you think the firemen are all lying about their radios not working
and not hearing their supervisors orders to EVACUATE 45 minutes BEFORE the
first tower collapsed? [I don’t have time to look up the exact numbers from Jim Dwyer’s comprehensive Times analysis of FDNY radio and interview transcripts. I
can’t remember exactly what time the first tower fell, to do the math.
One commander said he ordered to evacuate right after the second plane hit
because he realized this was too dangerous for his men. So whatever
time the first tower fell gives you the number of how long firemen had to
evacuate and save their lives and others. It’s all plain as fucking day, which
is why it’s preposterously dishonest that the media celebrates Giuliani.]


You turned down a $10, 000,000 [million] dollar check from Prince
______ for the Twin Towers Fund because he had stated "America needs to reexamine
its foreign policy", which you claimed was offensive, correct? But your
friend Cardinal Egan said the same thing and you were silent. How is this not
a double standard and why don’t you now owe the victims families that ten
million dollars you forfeited?

= = = = = = =

It’s 3am and I’ve still got to get my shitty computer online. (It can
take up to 20 minutes to send ONE email!)

Please create questions out of the text I sent the other day that
wasn’t in question format.

Don’t forget that Rudy’s FIRST client for Giuliani Partners was Merril
Lynch who hired him to Lobby Spitzer to back off his prosecution of their
corporate crime! And the main mission of this company is to help
CORPORATE AMERICA get richer. Fighting crime in Mexico or Iraq or wherever is not
the main mission statement of his company. In a better world, Alex would do
an ENTIRE piece on Giuliani Partners, showing all their clients and what
he did for them. It’s almost all "helping the rich get richer" shit. Dudes, it
can’t be coincidence that most of his best cronies are all convicted
criminals! (ask Taibbi for a list. And this was well-established
BEFORE I discovered Steinbrenner and Peter Max (his Brooklyn Museum patsy) were
both convicted criminals! And more and more of Rudy’s pals and staffers are
going to jail each month after being investigated. Vellela will get a prison
sentence in a cushy country club at worst. I’ve been saying for ten
years: lift up any rock of Rudy’s administration and corruption is what you’ll
find and I’ve been right every time they looked at ANY agency or

DON’T EMAIL me if you’re trying to get any info.



Friday, May 21, 2004


Thank you all for your comments and feedback regarding the 9/11 hearing. I especially appreciate the very valid points that JOE brought up, though any comments on Christopher's health or mental well-being are completely speculative and certainly biased. Everyone is giving me a ton of credit for being an asshole for simply being PRESENT. Where the hell were any of you? Oooh, lemme guess - IM-ing your friends at work? Or maybe sipping an overpriced cup of coffee? Updating your lame websites?

The fact that I was even THERE is a great example of my motives. I could have slept in until 10 or 11 that morning. But I woke up at 7 am and rode my bike 20 blocks to observe and learn from the hearing. I had no IDEA that Christopher planned to speak out. But even if he'd have told me before we left, I would have still gone to observe and learn. All of you are complete and utter dipshits. You should have been there listening and learning yourselves. You should have heard the people in the hall cheering when Christopher stood and spoke. Those were family members of people who died. They were looking for someone to speak up for them and they got what they wanted. How DARE any of you criticize me? Did ANY of you big mouths lose friends or family on 9/11? Let's go even a step further. How many of you give a shit about anything except yourselves? Why are you even writing to me? I love getting hits on my website and I like reading the comments and feedback, but seriously - you are all way off base. I'm an artist, dummies, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be educated. PUBLIC hearing. I had as much right to be there as the park or the movies. You are all very boring people and are obviously content with the status quo. PS - Never owned a pair of combat boots, not once.

Also - about the knife - I already explained that, stupid. I carry that everywhere with me because I live in a dark, poor neighborhood and I often come home late at night and alone, and I'm very hot with an incredibly stellar body and I am never carrying less than $1,000 cash (and coins) on me at any given time. If someone tries to rape one of you bitches and you don't have a knife to stab them with, then it's your own fault if you get attacked. Protect yourselves, you dumb sluts - unless you actually just want to get raped, which by the sounds of some of your comments, it seems like a bunch of you need a dick - especially some of the guys! Come out of the closet! It's okay to do that now!


Let's look at this objectively, shall we?

1: Jessi gets a 6 inch knife passed security at the 911 inquiry. --- [GOOD POINT, JOE! NO ONE SEEMED TO MENTION THAT IN THE COMMENTS SECTION!!!!]
2: Former mayor asked stupid questions (and they were) [ANOTHER GOOD POINT BY JOE! AGAIN, WHO MENTIONED THAT ONE? OH, THAT'S RIGHT - NO ONE (but me.)]
3: When confronted by a member of the crowd about the possibility that faulty equipment may have contributed to the death of brave men and women, the commission does not start an inquiry. {YET AGAIN ANOTHER EXCELLENT POINT BROUGHT UP BY JOE....ANY TAKERS? DIDN'T THINK SO.]
4: Woman next to nutjob is forced to leave before he is. [WOMAN - (ME) FORCED TO LEAVE BEFORE THE DISRUPTER EVEN IS!!!!]
5: Nutjob gets media attention. [I DON'T AGREE THAT CHRISTOPHER IS A "NUTJOB."]

So what can we conclude? This country pays lip service to increasing security, and has been idiotic with nail clippers in airports, yet we do nothing we let someone armed into the 911 commission inquiry in New York. [EXCELLENT POINT - THE SECURITY ACTUALLY EVEN ***SEARCHED*** MY PURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I FORGOT I EVEN HAD THE KNIFE ON ME AND THEY DIDN'T EVEN FIND IT!!!!!!!!!!!]

Chris is nuts and needs help, but somehow everybody is fixating on this and not on his 1 actual VALID question. Meanwhile they continue to give Giuliani a public high-five. [WHO HAS SOME INSIGHT ON WHY HIS VERY VALID QUESTION WAS NOT ADDRESSED??? ANYONE????]

Security guards are asshats that feel the need to harrass women. [TRUE.]
Jessi needs to pick men better. [POSSIBLY TRUE.]

While the manner of getting this question into the public realm should have been better, it was an attempt. It also has not worked. People really are sheep, and the government knows it. [TRUE, TRUE, SO VERY SAD AND TRUE.]


If any of you have read any of my last entries, you will see that I have definitely dated some losers. But who hasn't? How many men have stories about the 'crazy' girl they dated, or how many women cry about how cute the guy is who abuses them? I'm allowed to date whoever I want to for whatever reasons I see fit. You all sound like my mom. I already get enough bullshit from her about who I date. So cann it. No one cares about who YOU all date. At least not me.

More - Chris had a lot of psychiatric evaluations (when Giuliani arrested him before and put him in Riker's Island for 11 days with no bail) and he passed EVERY SINGLE ONE. But I believe psychiatric evaluation tests are a whole bunch of doo doo. With or without the evaluations, Christopher has proven to me to be, if absolutely nothing else, a critical thinker - a skill I recommend EVERYONE should hone. Stop watching TV and try reading some books, walking around and observing society, and doing some volunteer work for your communities. Get off the internet from time to time and make a connection with an actual person, face to face.

And anyone who thinks that I was trying to sell CDs by attending the Giuliani hearing is retarded. My CDs sell themselves when I perform or when magazines review them and list my website. Is THAT taking advantage of the media? (Absurd.) It's not that hard to sell CDs. If I wanted to sell CDs, I could set up a stand on Prince Street next to all the other venders, or set up an account on I wouldn't think that anyone who is even involved in politics would give a shit about my CD. My CD is about art, anti-censorship and funny music. (Also, vaginas.) Not likely to win over the 9/11 hearing board or mourning widows. Now, if Chris had wanted to sell a CD, he could have brought a stack of his CDs entitled, "Songs of 9/11" with him. I bet he would have sold plenty. And the CD is actually good. None of you know what you are all talking about when you attack me on my comment board, but I do appreciate you visiting my website! Please come back and visit again soon!

Bye, now!

Thursday, May 20, 2004


Here's an interesting variety of opinions on the hearing:


It's sad when someone who tries to stand up for something they believe in is labeled as a kook or an idiot. You know, like Martin Luther King, Jr. and Rosa Parks. Kooks. The whole lot of them. Kooks, I tell you.

Thank god for kooks, because thanks to them, I can vote. A woman. Imagine that?
I can also get a job that pays the same salary as one might pay a man.

Thank you, to all the kooks and maniacs who challenged the system and made this world a better place.
9/11 Hearings Outburst Covered By Every Major Media News Source

I am compiling links and information in regards to which news sources covered the Giuliani outburst, especially if it mentions Christopher or I or shows our photos. It may or may not come in handy when putting together press kits for Christopher's Mayoral campaign.

I saw a very nice picture of us on, also Christopher's photo is in the Washington Post, also Newsday and I am sure several other papers.

Check it out here:

MSNBC link

If you have any links, photos or video, please send it to me!!!

You can e-mail it to me at: or you can also send it to me at: 230 W. 55 St. #23D, NY, NY. 10019.

Last night I went to Collective Unconscious to perform and when I got there, lots of people came up to comment on seeing me or Christopher on the news. Christopher said that he watched the 11 PM news on WB and it showed me momentarily getting manhandled by the feds. If anyone has that footage, I'd very much love to have a copy of it. Many people called Christopher a hero, some people gave me a little bit of credit for being involved - I don't think I deserve any kind of credit, I was only there helping Chris to get his message across - basically that Giuliani is a tyrant and a scoundrel. (I like using pirate words to describe people.) I also posed as his human shield to keep people from being able to get to him so he could speak/disrupt the hearing more aptly.

If anyone has any questions about why Giuliani is a bad man, please e-mail them to me or visit Christopher's website, You can also visit He also has a book for sale on Amazon called "Perverted Little Creep" which is what Giuliani called him after he openly criticized Giuliani on his talk radio show. There is not much dirt about 9/11 in the book, but it is very, very good.

I noticed mixed feedback on my bulletin board today - half praise and half angry responses to the outburst. I appreciate all comments and so please keep them coming, be they ignorant or intelligent.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

Delfino & Brodeur physically removed from 9/11 hearing

Well, friends, looks like Ms. Delfino just accidentally became a political activist, guilty by association and dedication to her boyfriend and his battles.

When we rode our bikes up to the New School Auditorium this morning at 8 am, I had no idea what was going to transpire. I was going there with Christopher to help him pass out his flyer with a title page that says, "Did Rudy Giuliani Kill 3000 People? You be the judge!" It then has a hand-drawn picture of Giuliani in dark cross-hatchings saying, "Fuck You! I did nothin' wrong. I'm a hero!"

When we got to the New School, fake security was everywhere. I got to work handing out flyers to all the news crew people in their little newscrew tents and Chris went inside to get a seat and scrutinize Giuliani's testimony. Neither of us had any trouble getting in - the "security" searched my purse but accidentally missed the six-inch serrated Spyderco knife I carry everywhere with me. Oops! Inside, the room was packed. Christopher was rebutting Giuliani's statements with handbill sized notes handwritten with permanent marker, he would hold up high for the commission board and all to see. Twice, a suit monkey asked him not to hold up his signs, and told him the second time if he did it again, he'd be removed.

Every so often, Chris would yell out a comment, such as, "Talk about the radios." Others would follow suit as well, yelling out, "Radios!" or "Motorola!" One woman yelled out that her son was murdered. At one point, the room was in total calamity, with everyone shouting over Giuliani's bogus testimony. The thing that was most obviously annoying was that the questions that they were asking Giuliani were time-wasting and boring. They asked things such as, "We commend you on a job well done. And could you tell us if you agree that your leadership which led to the saving of 99% of the people in the buildings would be considered a success?" At that point, Christopher stood up and yelled out, "3,000 deaths is not leadership!" Others started yelling out as well, and before I knew it, we were surrounded by cameras, press people, and security, and everyone was yelling for Christopher to leave. They were trying to reach over me to grab him, and I smacked their hands off of me, saying, "Don't touch me," and "Let him speak." They kept saying I'd have to leave and trying to pull on me. Norman Siegel came over and told Christopher that if he wanted to not get arrested, he'd have to leave with Norman now, without anymore to do. I stood up and when I did, about three ape sized men grabbed me and started pushing AND pulling me towards the door. As they did, I started handing out Christopher's flyers to stunned onlookers.

The mean security guards mauled me as they walked me out, grabbing my breasts, my arms, holding me very tight, so hard I almost couldn't breathe. I was afraid I was going to get arrested, but I was getting irritated at the manhandling I was experiencing, so I started wriggling, saying, "Let me go, you big fat mook!" The guy was obviously enjoying molesting me "as part of his job" and was laughing at my comments. When we got outside, I started punching him and elbowing his overstuffed gut and screaming, "Let me go!" He was really hurting me. Finally, an officer came over and took me away from the security guard, who had been a private security person hired by the New School, I believe. The cop made me stay put, but the press and radio, news, etc. ascended on Christopher like a freak electrical storm. I could barely see him, he was just surrounded by an ocean of media attention.

A New York Times reporter asked me some questions and a guy from Newsday, also some other girl from some smaller paper. Christopher stayed and got interviewed by 100 different people as I tried to stay out of the rain which at this point was coming down pretty hard.

After all the hub bub, we went to Wendy's and I ate a baked potato. A friend said they'd seen Christopher and I on NY1.

I don't have any personal investment in the scandals that Giuliani has been accused of, and I really do consider myself to be somewhat politically ignorant, which is sad, being a woman of sound mind and body in possession of almost 28 years. But what I have learned, and keep continuing to learn is that the government is not concerned with the "public welfare" and that the word public is just another word for slave or sheep to them. The hearing was a complete and total waste of time and tax payers dollars, except for the fact that some light was shed on some of Giuliani's misdoings and ill-handling of 9/11.

I am glad that I got to be a part of the scene that was made at the hearing, and if it did even a tiny shred of good, then I've done my good deed for the day. People need to know that the politicians don't care about anything but money in their pockets and the pockets of their friends, and that is the sad truth about the state of the government today.

My blog entries aren't usually very political, and I don't expect that they will be getting more political as time goes on. I'm still a performer above everything else. I'm just a little bit frazzled from getting manhandled and electrified from the excitement of being bombarded by film crews and reporters.

Here's a link to a story about the outbreak in the room:

And here's Christopher's quote, which they used:

One [Christopher Brodeur] shouted "talk about the radios" -- a reference to communications problems on the day of the attacks. Another man was removed from the room after he demanded time to question the mayor, screaming: "Three thousand people murdered does not mean leadership. ... Let me ask the real questions."

Sunday, May 16, 2004


Please, no food or drinks here. We need to keep this space clear for books, pencils, erasers, homework, mp3 players, cellphones and pieces of paper or gum wrappers. If you set your food here, it could spill over, causing a mess. Then, someone would have to come and clean it up. We know, we know, we do pay people upwards of $7 per hour in the event of a spill, but heaven forbid they should have to put down their copy of Newsweek (which they really barely understand) and pick up a sponge or rag and wipe up some crumbs or soda droplets. Speaking of soda droplets, or soda, that is one of the drinks you are not allowed to place here. Please also note, we will not tolerate you placing any other drinks here either - no chocolate milk, no mango juice, no lemonade, no water (we know, we know, water doesn't stain, but what if....just what if?) no olive martinis, no fresca, no vitamin water, no sparkling cider, no beverages of any kind, not even something that is technically not a beverage but is somewhat runny, such as chutney or maraschino cherry leavings. Just no drinks! Get it?

We know you are an adult, and that you probably won't make a mess, but what if you do? What if you do? Are YOU going to clean it up? No. You aren't. Are you going to even say you're sorry? Probably not. Have you ever knocked anything over at the grocery store? A jar of pimentos or mayonnaise, perhaps? And what did you do? Did you go and get the maintenance person and let them know that you knocked it over, apologize, offer to help clean it up? We bet not. You probably looked to your left, looked to your right, giggled, elbowed your friend and left it there for the poor black guy who works there so he can get some time reduced from his prison sentence to clean it up. NO WONDER BLACK PEOPLE HATE US!

Also, please don't stick your gum under the counter. That is gross, and unsanitary. Have you ever reached under a table or countertop and felt the lumpy cudlets clinging? How did it make you feel? Have you ever looked? Though it is kind of pretty, in those wads live people's saliva and small chunks of their gums and maybe pieces of food or crumbs and germs. Germs are going to kill us all someday. Have you ever heard of ebola? It's not made up. It's a real disease. It makes your eyes bleed and your nose fall off and your teeth fall out and then you just die. And everyone around you dies, too. I mean, we will all die someday, but do we have to die because of YOU?

Personally, I'd rather choose the way I get to die. I wish that when we were young, we got to pick how long we wanted to live until, then if we reached that age without incident, we could turn ourselves into the suicide clinics, like in Kurt Vonnegut's imaginings, and have them kill us any way we like. They could give us cancer, or they could ride over our faces with a bicycle with sharp pointy things tied to the bike tires, or shoot you with or without a silencer. But I don't mean to stray from the point, which is, please, please. No food or drinks here. Please.

It makes you look like a jerk when you disobey signs that were printed out on an expensive printer.

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Lindy England is a porn name - DUH!

Can anyone really be that surprised that "Lindy England" got busted for her sexual exploits? Maybe someone in the ARMY should have asked her if she was a porn star, because Lindy England is a porn name. She should change her name to London, England, because everyone likes to visit there. Maybe the new childhood rhyme will now start to go: I see London, I see France, I see Lindy without any underpants!

Haw, haw, ha haw ha.

The ARMY should make a new slogan, too: ARMY. See the world - oh, and Lindy's vagina.

And MAYBE they should reconsider using the classification "privates" because it seems like lately, they're anything but. It comes off sounding a little ironic!

PS Come see the Trachtenburg Family Revue tomorrow (Friday) at 8 pm at North Six in Williamsburg. (L to Bedford stop.) It should be mighty fun.

Sunday, May 9, 2004


I am a gemini. What this "means" is that I'm the twins. What "this" means is that I'm two faced or something, I guess, and also that I have two sides to my personality. I'm like a couple of fat babies squeezed together into one regular sized torso. I'm like a siamese freak show, is basically what the zodiac tells me I am. In addition, I like to make art, I am very charismatic, the life of the party! I hear, I'm also very cool and smart. I think I have a short attention span, too? Who knows? Most of my life, a series of someones who I don't know have been helping me to understand what the universe wants from me by writing short blurbs about me and telling me who I am and what I should be doing. So far, so far. My life is not terrible, but I don't know if this "gemini" really fits me. Sure, I'm an artist, a fine one at that, and I am undoubtedly delightfully charismatic, however factual that may or may not be, and I am something of the life of the party, or one life at the party, and who could forget cool AND smart. But something seems to be missing from that analysis. Oh, yes. Neurotic, and scared to die. Riddled with self-esteem issues and guilt most likely associated with being raised by a technically catholic Italian mother with her own guilt issues traveling up the ladder to the days of King Charlemagne, who I am a descendent of, according to my grandfather. Um, don't forget slightly bulimic, or maybe anemic, or affected by one of those other eating disorders. And who could forget the affliction of all distraught geniuses, (genii?) a crush on psychadelic drugs. So, I wrote my own damn zodiac. It makes as much sense as the real one, and maybe even more. Look up your sign. Does it fit? If not, just try to make it. You do it with the actual zodiac.

Find your sign. What does it say about you?

JAN - FEB: The Quarter Pounder with cheese.
As quarter pounder with cheese rises to meet the June moon, you realize that you are only as good as you can be. You should consider taking a trip. Or reading a good book. Or driving your car into a school bus full of sleeping children.

FEB - MAR: The Lawnmower.
Your birthday came and went this year, and what do you have to show for it, lawnmower? Your face is dirty and you have bad breath. Call your mother. She misses you - sort of.

MAR - APR: Burt Bacharat
As a Burt Bacharat, you are ultra observant, understanding and used to rejection. Maybe it's time to pick up the broken pieces and make a collage. Use the kind of glue that is non-toxic, as Burt Bacharats are known to indulge in a little sniffity sniff now and again, more usually now, and then also again, in the present now.

APR - MAY: The Shoe horn
As the shoe horn, you are aware that sometimes you don't get to pass go, or collect $200. Try to settle for a good conversation with a friend. Does this make sense in relation to your life? Just try to force it to make sense. Use your association skills. Other Shoe horns: Betty Crocker, Uncle Sam, Ray Charles.

MAY - JUNE: The Wino.
Being a wino comes with great responsibility. Count your blessings, while you are sober enough to do so. Try something new, like disco fries, or wearing flip flops on your head.

JUNE - JULY: The Penguin.
Penguins are sensitive, intuitive birds that can't fly. Maybe you should read into that and kill yourself, or at least realize that you may save yourself years of heartache by giving up on your dreams now.

JULY - AUG: Nudie Magazine.
The Nudie Magazine is an earth sign, meaning you are grounded by your work, whatever that means. Keep up the good, grounding work. You're boring. Compatible with: The shoe horn, hoof & mouth disease.

AUG - SEPT: Super 8 Motel.
Aw, buck up little super 8 motel. Your problems can only either get better or worse. So, sit back and watch to see which one it's gonna be. Hint: Put your money on worse and hope for the best.

SEPT - OCT: The number 12.
Oh, number 12, will you ever learn? Go back to school and put your big mouth to work. Most number 12's are known for their big mouths, and big teeth as well, if we know anything about number 12s. Lucky numbers: 11, eighty-thirteen, a bazillion.

OCT - NOV: Hoof & Mouth disease.
Hoof and Mouth diseases are caring, kind, and humanesque in their attempt to get away from their animal instincts. You are doing a lot, Hoof and mouth disease. Is it okay if we call you just hoof and mouth? Everyone doesn't need to know all your personal business. Be sure not to get distracted by people who just want to chew you up and spit you out.

NOV - DEC: The Winning Team's score.
As the winning team's score, you are always thinking about how you can be the best, how you can have the most, and how you can win, win, win. Winning isn't everything, but it is about 98 and 2/3's percent of everything. But you already know that. Lucky days:
Every single Wednesday, the first Sunday of every month.