Thursday, October 30, 2008


...for a reason. I used to be very liberated and sexually more open than I am now. During and after my last relationship, I closed up physically, visually, quite a bit, and I have mixed feelings about that.

However, this very nice boy named Alex came with me on tour to London. While we were there, he took beautiful photographs of me in my underpantaloons as well as in other intimate settings and show environs alike. He has managed to make me look very beautiful and I would like to share these photos with you.

Visit them here:

If you like any of these photos and you want to order any prints, I bet you can do so by emailing I'm sure you can get them in 4x6 and 8x10, possibly larger as well. They are really gorgeous photos up close and for real.

I think that at some point I will do a totally nude spread, probably about a week before my boobies start drooping and my vagina hairs turn grey. Because I want to capture my beautiful body at the peak of it's hotness. That's probably not too too far away from now. But I still have a few good hot years left. And my mom is 50, and she's a milf. And my grandmother, who is 83, while not "hot" anymore, has aged into a beautiful woman unlike the likes of many elderly people I've seen in my life. She looks amazing. I think I've got genetics on my side regarding aging. So, like, if you are say, David LaChappelle or some other amazing famous weirdo photographer and you'd like to photograph me naked, give me a call in like, 4 years.

I bet the Catholic League would love that!

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Apartments Facing The Street...

...should be cheaper.

I can hear the wind literally howling as I try to fall asleep in my bed, but that is the only natural sleep depriver working to keep me up. [warning: potentially long possible run-on sentence ahead] If it's not the homeless peeps across the street in bum park loudly discussing politics, trying to sell passers by bottles of Tropicana with their "outdoor" sales pitch voice (great pr for the juice giants by the way - Tropicana - the beverage choice for every party) or just kicking the living shit out of eachother (which is not often a quiet endeavor) it's mother nature meets man-made materials keeping me as sleepless as the gentlemen in the park across the street.

But that's not all, oh no, not at all.

In the topic of, "Things That Fuck Me Out Of A Good Night's Sleep", the list is as long as this sleep free night.

Ok! Show us, ambulance sirens, couples fighting on the street (for REAL), car horns / alarms and garbage trucks.

Survey says:

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

I wish my life were a game show. At least I'd have lots of nice furniture to not be able to sleep on.

Monday, October 27, 2008

If You're Ever Unable To Sleep... can watch any one of these videos all about the periodic table of elements.

They're also kind of interesting, if you're into...uh...the elements and stuff.


See Jessica Delfino perform live:
Gene Frankel Theater, 24 Bond St., 9 PM
in GROK!
a show based on the book,
"Stranger In A Strange Land" by Robert A. Heinlein


Do you want absolutely the most amazing Halloween experience of your life this year?
If so, email me for directions and invite to a private party and tell me what you're going to be for Halloween.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

NIN / Trent Reznor take a hint from Jessica Delfino...

Who says you have to spend truckloads of bills on special effects, lighting and fancy catering to make a good video? Jessica Delfino (that's me) has inspired once again with her "simple is savvy" plan by having talented, stylized (but not over-sussed) animation peeps draw her videos out. My favorite one is still "I Wanna Be Famous" but I have had a few other videos animated since then.

Here's NIN's video:

Thanks for sending this to me, Shade!

Exciting! Ben & Jessica's #2 Newsfriends Newsjam is featured on's New Video Wednesdays post:

Sunday, October 19, 2008

A Few Neat Things...

The Vagina Festival is next weekend; that's a celebration of vaginas by bringing lots of celebratory vaginas together to celebrate. I hope you can make it. I'll be performing on Saturday at 3:30 in the afternoon and on Sunday at 6:00 PM. Learn more here:

In other news, I'm glad to be considered a "notable resident" on my hometown's Wikipedia page, along with Depeche Mode and Erasure's Vince Clark. I never knew he lived in Damariscotta! Pretty cool.,_Maine

I strongly suggest wikipedia-ing your hometown. It's pretty informative. I learned more about Damariscotta in one five minute sitting than I did in the whole dozen or so years I lived there.

In other news, a brand new spanking new NEWS JAM is OUT NOW!!!

Watch it and weep...(warning -- features yours truly semi-nude and if you look carefully you can even see an accidental pube shot)

Saturday, October 11, 2008

JESSICA DELFINO on the front page of TODAY


A handful of years ago I sent a few snapshots to Playboy Magazine in the hopes that I could be a Playboy pet or whatever the hell they're called. I was paying my own way through college (art school) and I thought it'd be cool to get to hang out at the mansion with Heffie and his posse and get the 10 or 20 K (forget how much it was now) that you get for being in Playboy. My morals have shifted (slightly) since I was 19 and I wouldn't pose nude in Playboy anymore. But I would consider posing semi-nude in Playboy. And I would also pose clothed in Playboy. And I would also dance and sing fully clothed on the front page of And it turns out, I do that today. Now.

Some years later, after I graduated from art school, I moved to NYC to pursue a career in comedy stuffs. I met Jon Friedman and performed in The Rejection Show. Then, he put a book together of rejected writings, etc. I submitted my rejected from Playboy letter for the book. He was going to use it in the book, but then he rejected the rejected letter.

Now, I'm no longer rejected by Playboy.

I wonder if that is a plus or minus in the scale of 1 - 10 of good things that have happened in my life.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

On Presidential Vernacular
by My Mom


*seriously, this was written by my mom -- Hettie Warner, Brooksville, FL.


Has anyone else noticed how the McCain-Palin camp is tryin' to play up
Palin's cutsy vernacular as an acceptable form of speech?

Do you remember when America came down hard on the black English dialect
known as "ebonics" for pronouncing the "th'" sound as "ff"- as in "boff" of
us, for example?

When did it become acceptable English to drop the "g" from "ing?" Every
English teacher I ever had, taught me that the "country colloquialisms"
Palin is using aren't cute. They're improper. You got a long boring writing
assignment for saying things like... Darn, Mrs. Walker, I ken't afford no
heapin' helpin' o' lunch, 'cause I ain't got no your teacher.
It's okay informally...but in public speaking??? Running for Vice Pres?

I bet that every dedicated English teacher in America cringes when Palin
takes the podium.

So, when did "whitey-bonics" become acceptable anyway?

Lincoln was raised in a log cabin with only fire light to read by and he
didn't even talk that way!

And when did education become a detriment, as the McCain-Palin ticket is
trying to use against Obama? Right. He's too educated to be one of us but
it's okay for our next vice president to use "but if for to" and "daggone
it" in a sentence.

Chris Rock does a hilarious stand-up routine about "Blacks and Niggas" where
he says that Niggas will throw a party for a brother who just got out of
prison, then put down a brother who just graduated with a master's degree...
"So what? You think you're my master now?" (See I always
thought earning a degree was an achievement, especially when you're the
child of a single mother

Could it be the McCain camp is passing off "hee-haw" English as a quaint and
proper alternate to good speech because Sara Palin doesn't pronunciate

Just wondering.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

NAUGHTY NAUTICAL NITE is tomorrow nite


NEW VIDEO by Jessica Delfino and Ben Lerman:

News Friends News Jam!!

This video shows Ben and I chatting up the week's biggest headlines using modern technology.

Wow. We are informed!

Watch and share...