Saturday, April 28, 2007


Did you miss it? Did you go? It was only the funnest fashion / earth-day event on the planet. But if you missed out, it's okay. Come to the next one. Sign up on the mailing list and find more info here...

I was joined by Rachel and Tina Trachtenburg, and we made lovely homemade pads / aka / planetary napkins for the event. I also emceed...which is always fun and strange in that setting.

AND NY MAGAZINE was on hand to document Planetary Napkins, Rachel Trachtenburg, Julia Newman...and the swap in general...

Friday, April 27, 2007


So the FDA is considering making it so that
chocolate won't actually mean chocolate anymore.

Basically, this is the gist of it: chocolate has two basic ingredients - cocoa and cocoa butter. Up to now, in order to be considered, and entitled "chocolate", there must be those two ingredients in the mix. Otherwise, it has to be called "chocolate-flavored" or something that effect.

But now, the FDA may make it so that, if, say, Hershey's decides to make a candy bar with no cocoa and no cocoa butter in it, it will be okay to call it chocolate. Instead of cocoa and cocoa butter, by the way, vegetable fat or some other lesser ingredients will be taking place.

You can protest if you want to, not that it's going to do much good.

Or read more about what is going on here.

And if you want to contact Hershey's, you can do it here.

Not that they will give a crap! The only way they will care is if this affects their sales. I am hereby banning Hershey's chocolate, and I encourage you all to do the same.

Kind of makes you wonder just what the FDA is for, anyway?

Oh, help corporations lie to consumers.

Thursday, April 26, 2007


A few weeks ago I took part in a sex journal assignment by NY Magazine. I meticulously noted every moment of the day during which I had sexual thoughts, encounters, acts, and anything that made my nether regions get nether-y.

Sadly, they really whittled away a lot of the journal down to some of the juiciest parts, and in retrospect and in comparison to other people's sex journals (also posted), my sex life sucks.

I am so disappointed in my vagina! Where did the magic go?

Well, you can definitely find out where it isn't, by clicking the link below to


Thursday, April 19, 2007


Galway is a cozy, picturesque narrow city on the west coast of Ireland.

Going to Ireland was like going back in time.

Galway is the host city to the Galway Comedy Festival, in its' 2nd year,
which I went to perform in this past April, 2007...

...Along with comedian Rosie Rebel and my drum
accompanyment, Mr. "Touching You"...

We received a very warm reception as American comedians visiting
the festival, and were quite delighted to see that along
with festival PR person Tracy Ferguson and Irish-American
comedian Fiona Walsh, Rosie & I made the frontpage of the Galway Tribune...
(I had to screen save it because the photo is protected so that
you will purchase the photo for $10 American! But
that was the shot on the front page of the paper...)

Coincidentally, the festival fell in the midst of a water supply contamination. A nasty
little bug named Cryptosporidium had invaded the water, rendering it unsafe for
human consumption. So we could not drink any tap water or brush our teeth with it,
or we would suffer the consequences, and by the consequences, I mean diarrhea.
(Though there was some stipulation that it was a guise to get bottled water sales up.)

Regardless, the city of Galway was quite beautiful...

...lined and decorated with (bacteria infected) water...

...interesting architecture...

...and cleverly named hotels.


In the festival, we saw some great performances, such as
Abie Philbin Bowman in"Jesus: The Guantanamo Years".

The show is about Jesus's 2nd coming, since Jesus doesn't have a
passport and is tan, he gets sent to Guantanamo Bay trying to cross
the border into America. It was funny, poignant and very informative.
The Catholic League is not going to like his show one bit!

On Quay Street, a variety of performers would
assemble to compete for the change of passers by.

One our favorite performers was David McSavage,
whose main skill was insulting people, which he was very adept at, and then
getting them to pay him for it. He made a small fortune on the streets
antagonizing people running their errands. He'll be in NYC in May, so be sure
to catch his shows, especially if you are a masochist.

We also saw this guy. We're still not quite sure what his deal was,
but we liked him. He was like a long lost relative of Haunted Pussy.

Here we are with Kernan, a very nice Irish writer we met. He gave us a
walking tour around the city. He didn't mind that we were dressed like
gay men, carried a guitar around with us, and kept making him pose
for photos, and we didn't mind that he looked like a 70s rugby player.

I also have a really strange smile and am wearing sunglasses
that are about 100 times too big for my face in this photo.

A drunk girl who we got to chatting with on the street insisted that we
take a photo with the Irish police, who are known in Ireland as "the garda".
In Ireland, the cops don't carry guns, so they can't shoot American tourists
when we bombard them with smiles and cameras, begging for photo
souvenirs. Actually, these officers were very good sports, and not bad
lookers, as you can see. As the crime rates are so low in Ireland, the cops
don't really have much better to do than pose for pictures, anyway.

After one of the shows, I asked the audience if anyone would drive us to
the Cliffs of Moher. Low and behold, a handsome young Irish gent named
Cian approached me and said that we had met in NYC over a year prior,
and that I'd given him a CD. When he saw my name in the paper, he was surprised
and delighted, and came to see the show, dragging friends. He also offered
to take us to the Cliffs, which I will always love him for doing. Here is Cian
above, holding a bottle of boiled water, safe for drinking.

The ride to the Cliffs and back were almost as magnificent as the Cliffs
themselves, littered with ivy covered castles just sitting along the roadside...

Gloriously plush greenery along the windy, narrow
roads which we drove on the "wrong side" of...

And uh...tractors...

We parked down the road from the Cliffs and walked to them because
they built a visitor's center that now you have to pay a bunch of
money to park and enter. We thought the idea of paying to see
a natural phenomenon was WRONG. (And, we're poor). Mary
is in disguise, as she owes the government a lot of money.

The Cliffs of Moher in all their glory.

In America, getting this close to the raw, dangerous majestic
beauty would never happen, due to our sue-happy culture.

But even the Irish lawyers are smart enough to cover their
asses by posting "No running off the cliffs" signs...
(Where's the "no kids on your shoulders near the cliffs" sign?)

...and "No trying to ride the seagulls" signs...

Not that anyone gave a crap. Perhaps this is why three or four tourists
blow off the cliffs a year.

If I took 15 steps backwards, I could play a folk song all the way down.

For a moment, I really considered pushing him.
On the ride home, we learned a little bit about the Irish culture.
Apparently, it is very expensive to take a crap in the Galway countryside.

Us Americans ate "chips" for at least one meal a day. In Ireland, they
really know how to do "chips", also known in America as fries. On their
chips, they put cole slaw, curry sauce, garlic sauce, cheese and more.
They charge extra for ketchup, which over there, is like a very thick, gross
paste, and tastes more like spaghetti sauce. It is wretched, to put it kindly.
Here we are in one of our favorite chip locations.

Rosie Rebel had a little TOO much fun in Ireland...

Look at this gleaming Irish countryside! It's like a scene from a dream
that I never want to wake up from. Don't be surprised if I move to Galway
someday. Write to me, won't you?

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


I'll tell you!

Rachel Kramer Bussel's IN THE FLESH Reading Series: Smoking, sizzling hot sexy stories of seduction, strumpetry, and of course, sex. And free cupcakes. ALL FOR FREE. One of my personal favorite shows. But come early, or else you'll be standing in the back. The reliability that this show will be packed is without fail.

Happy Ending Broome Street at Christie Street
8 PM

Monday, April 16, 2007


I don't even know what to say about this.

I'm going to have to give this one some thought.

I'll get back to y'all on it...

Friday, April 13, 2007


I guess I'll just have to take what I can get...

Click the above link for my interview on (with one of my favorite ladies of comedy, Eliza Skinner) that was linked to on Comedy Central's "Insider" site.
The interview is about comedy fashion.

In other news, I'm just getting back from the Galway Comedy Festival. The past week's worth of events was one the funnest times I've ever had. Check back soon for my Galway Comedy Breakdown and lots and lots of great photos...

And tomorrow, Saturday:

A day-long series of workshops and events
focusing on all aspects of the entertainment biz

More details in the Jessica Delfino myspace calendar

And tomorrow, Saturday Night:

at Mo Pitkins
8 PM

Come and cheer me on as I compete for the title
of best comedy song person!

In general, all the Shark Show shows are lots of fun. The boys
are cute and the girls are pretty. The liquor is aplenty,
and the comedy is afunny.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

by Jessica Delfino & Rosie Rebel

Well, I don't know about any comedy festival. But we've been running around the city like jack rabbits taking lots of pictures of red doors. Hark, here's one!

You would not believe it if we told you that we met Austin Powers here in
Ireland. And if so, good. That means you are smart. Because it is not true.
This photo was taken in New York City!

In Ireland, the boys are very happy to get down on one arm for a
set of American lassies and do a push up in our honor. Wow.

What have you got for us back home, boys? Huh? What kind
of exercises will YOU do to impress us?

Here we are on Quay St. (pronounced Key St.) and we are just havin' a great time. I don't know why these photos came up so small, but the one of me with the red door is so huge.

I just don't know about the way things work in Ireland.

And here we are with the Mayor of Galway (and NYC comedian Fiona Walsh) at the Galway Comedy Festival opening night party. He gave us the key to his city, if you know what we mean.

The boys in Ireland are not shy, as you can see.

Tonight is Rosie and my first actual gig. We've spent the last two days lolly gagging and roaming about wearing American Flag tee shirts and fanny packs. We are looking forward to getting booed off stage, or carried around on the shoulders of the Irish, whichever happens happens.

I know one thing though - I hope we impress them, because getting
potatoed is not going to feel very good.