NAKED APARTMENT - The Sitcom
by Jessica Delfino
SONG - Come on over, we don't care - if you're in your underwear!
The gangs all here - at Naked Apartment! (background singers - Beachboys Style - oooh oooh oooh oooh~)
JIM enters. He's naked. The crowd goes crazy. Bill and Chris are playing cards, naked.
JIM
Hey guys, whatcha doing?
BILL
Just playing a game of cards.
CHRIS
Yeah, the winner gets a blowjob from Michelle!
MICHELLE (off camera)
I heard that!
Canned Laughter.
CHRIS
Wanna play?
JIM
No thanks, I'm not in the mood for oral sex I didn't pay for.
Hey, anyone want some tea?
BILL
Yeah, I'll have some.
JIM
Where are the tea bags?
BILL
Oh I think there's some in the snack box.
Jim goes over to a box on the counter. It says nut hut.
JIM
MMMmmm, almonds. Anyone want some nuts?
CHRIS
No thanks, I already have some.
Chris holds up a bowl of almonds.
JIM
That's cool. What did you guys do today?
BILL
What we do every day - think of new and clever
ways to try to get Michelle into the sack!
MICHELLE (from off screen)
I heard that!
Michelle walks out into the living room. She is naked.
She sniffs the air.
MICHELLE
OK, who's nuts smell?
CHRIS
You got me!
Everyone claps and laughs and Chris, Bill, Michelle
and Jim dance around.
THE END
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