Jessy Delfino's Blog

LOTS OF IMPORTANT SHIT TO COVER:
RAPE VIDEO, 540 SCAM, LASTINS LOVES ME, SUPER DARK, VAGENIUS

"Rape" Video shown at WEST

Last night I showed my video for "Someone Who Loves Me," a song which is anti-rape but pro-the rape fantasy, at WEST and was surprisingly, very well-received. There was no sound on the DVD which for a moment horrified me, then I pulled out my guitar and just played and sang the words to the song which the video was made for to the delight of the crowd.

Many people came up to me afterwards and asked questions, gave me praise and bought merchandise. Every once in a while humanity surprises me with open minds and hearts and appreciation for art, even art they might not necessarily understand. Last night was one of those times and it filled my vagina with joy.

540 SCAM

I just found this out and wanted to pass it along. On the back page of NY Press and Voice and other tabloid papers, you know how they advertise jobs? Some of them sound cheesy or like bullshit, but my friend tried to call one just out of curiosity for a job making $15 per hour telemarketing or something. When he called the number, he got a message which told him to call another number. He called the second number and it was out of order or busy or something. So, he called the first number back and listened more closely to the message. It said to call the second number, as he'd heard before, but he waited until the very end of the message after normally someone would have hung up. A few seconds after what appeared to be the end of the message, in a really quiet voice, the voice tells the listener that the second phone number will cost you $25 to call!!!!

ISN'T THAT EVIL???

So, FYI - 212-540-XXXX numbers are TOLL NUMBERS and if you ever see them or dial them, now you know. 212-540 is the same as a 1-900 number, but for Manhattan. I think this is heinous and should be outlawed, but in the meantime, all I can do is warn people. Verizon or whoever is responsible for this should be stopped, and VOICE and NY PRESS should refuse to run those ads. It's just bad form to even be involved or associated with that kind of shadiness. It's like selling someone a gun, then the gun is used to murder a defenseless old lady, then the guy who sells the gun says, "What? I only sold them the gun. I didn't shoot anyone." Everyone knows guns kill. And now, everyone knows that 540 numbers are a sham.

I guess if you care enough about this and want to do something to curb it, you can call or mail Verizon, NY Press and The Voice and tell them not to propogate scams and scammers. Also, tell your friends that 540 numbers are a ploy. I care about it, because I think that there is enough mayhem, lying, scamming, thievery and shenanigans in the world. We don't need any more EVIL than there already is. People who run scams should be raped, and I don't mean to a Genesis CD. So now you know. And knowing is half the battle.

LASTINS LOVES ME

That guy Lastins and I have been e-mailing eachother back and forth and I think I am in love with him. If I weren't already dating someone, I might do it to Lastins, and even though I'm dating someone, I might anyway.

Lastins is the guy I wrote about a few entries ago who does the sappy writing seminars. I still haven't figured out if he's totally for real or not yet or what motivates him, but I really like him. I like him, mostly because he likes me, but sometimes, again, humanity surprises me when an individual does something so shockingly sweet and selfless that you just have to take a step back and revel in the very aura of the experience. The french call it bomaux. I got to experience it this afternoon, when my friend Lisa e-mailed me a posting from craigslist.org, which was written by none other than Mr. Lastins himself. (I pasted it below.)

Hello out there.

My name is Lastins. I am a die hard fan of Jessica Delfino, dirty folk rockstress. I want to tell you about Jessica Delfino and dirty folk rock. I told her I was going to do this, and though she asked me not to, I have strong feelings about this, and have decided she won't deter me from doing it.

Jessica is really good. She tells funny, dark jokes and her music consists of "mostly somewhat vulgar" (that's a line she says a lot) songs about genitals and other stuff, but her music isn't stupid. It's smart and funny. On her website, she tells stories about her life being really shitty, like how her fiance stole money from her and got her evicted, and now she's homeless, etc. I'm confused because there are lots of shitty musicians and artists out there who are making great livings being shitty, then there are great musicians and artists who are broke and struggling. It doesn't make sense. So, I am trying to tell people about her because I think she deserves the love.

Go to her website, which is www.jessydelfino.blogspot.com. On her website there is a free mp3. If you like it, please buy one of her CDs, because she got really screwed over by her ex and could use the help. Also, read some of her stories which are really well-written, poignant and funny, also very dark and honest, and if you know an agent or manager or put a show together, tell them about her, or e-mail me and I'll tell her to e-mail them or you. Check out a show. She does a lot of free shows around the city and also plays in the subway. She is really pretty, too. Her music almost borders on performance art. She wears neat outfits as she sings songs that are thought-provoking and dirty.

If you love to support live art in NYC, if you are a philanthropist or an artist or musician yourself who is interested in other people's art as well as your own, or if you just happen to have some dough and want to help her make her music and art, she is someone who has the ability to really go far, and I have no doubt that she will, but I want to help her do it quicker, so that is why I am doing this.

Some lyrics from her song "Sudden Change" - (the mp3 free on her site)

"If you meet me on the street, and I seem to be mad or upset, and you're wondering if it is you, there's something you should not forget - remember, once a month for a week, I bleed from my vagina."

Here's lyrics from "I Think Of You"

"When I'm feeling sad, I cut myself. When I'm feeling bad, I cut myself. I get a razor blade and I cut myself, with initials that belong to you..."

Funny, charming, adorable, dark, silly, poetry.

She performs in the subway, and posts the times/dates/stations she'll be at on her website. She performs almost every night around Manhattan. She's got a ton of determination and drive which I admire and even envy a little bit. She even just got reviewed in March's JANE magazine. I think she's awesome and I want everyone else to see how awesome she is, too. I guess I should say that I have something of a crush on her, but she has a boyfriend and she seems to like him a lot. She's really sexy and sweet at the same time, which is uncommon, but that's not why I like her. I like her because she is as great as I say she is. If you knew her, you'd have a crush on her, too. I'm doing this because I really want to see her do well, but it would be cool if something great happened because of this and she fell in love with me for my selflessness.

I guess that's all I want to say.

Lastins P.
lastinspanderling@yahoo.com

Can anyone say "Sweetheart?" How about, "About to dump my current boyfriend for this man?" Or, "Who deserves a passionate blow job?" I am a little bit embarrassed, maybe, because the listing kind of makes me sound like a junkie or something, but the sentiment is absolutely delightful.

SUPER DARK - Ultra Dirty Folk Rock

This is my new project I am going to start working on immediately. I sold a CD to Patrick in Tampa yesterday and he wrote me this funny little e-mail:

Dear Jessica,

I received your CD in the mail today. Thank you for the prompt shipment. I immediately popped it into my stereo for a listen. This is where the problems began.

I have now finished listening to the entire album and I am outraged. I cannot even express how thoroughly disappointed I am that only three songs are in fact about your pussy. I expected there to be so much more pussy music on this album. It might as well be a CD of Blues Clues Biggest Adventures. If you were going for clean-cut, you certainly hit your mark. But my CD said DIRTY Folk Rock, and there wasn't enough pussy to be labeled dirty. Maybe questionable, but not dirty. You need to step it up a notch.

Furthermore, the songs that were about your pussy were very vague. You could describe it more. It wouldn't kill you. All I know about it is that is like rock n' roll (apparently), is shaved and I can't look it in the eye. Oh yeah, and that see it is like getting hit by a car and then getting hit by another car. Super un-descriptive, if you ask me.

I want my money back.

Patrick Melton

THIS inspired me to create a new CD, which I will call SUPER DARK - Ultra Dirty Folk Rock. On it will be the darkest, most vulgar, (all the while smart, funny, and clever) songs I can muster. I will not resort to cheap dark thrills. It's gonna be something else, mister. I'm very excited about it and have started working on it already. I imagine it will be ready within a month or two.

VAGENIUS

Vagenius is a new project I am working on tentatively with a few various lady mates, specifically one Adira Amram, who I ranted and raved about on "Eating It and et al." Adira is a smart, funny, classy, irresistable broad who you are about to fall in love with. She plays funny little songs too, and also is just really funny and does great characters. She is currently in Hot Little Pieces of Ass with Shauna Lane and Ann X, and does songs with a guy named Quincy. I forgot the name of their band. She and Quincy will be at Galapagos' Floating Vaudeville hosted by Von Von Von this Friday night, as will I, and she and I will also be at the Astor Place stop on the 6 line going uptown at 2 pm on Friday day. She'll be on keyboards and charm and I'll be on guitar and wit. We will be singing songs, fucking with passers-by and taking polaroids with commuters. It should be delightful, to say the very least, and of course, free. Come give us love, attention, and a dollar.