Saturday, September 24, 2005


Friend and comedian/writer Larry Getlen emailed me this. If any Opie and Anthony fans are reading this, and I know they are, don't submit jokes that you stole from Jim Norton or Opie or Anthony, and don't submit any jokes at all, actually.

Larry Getlen here, with an opportunity for comics to have their jokes and promotional information in a book that will be available in just about every book store in the country.

I am currently writing and compiling THE COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO JOKES. Part of the very successful Idiot’s Guide series (over 20 million copies sold), the book will be released in September 2006 through Alpha Books, an imprint of Penguin Publishing. THE COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO JOKES will be a reference guide of over 1,500 of the world’s funniest jokes cross-referenced by category, plus advice for the lay person on how to tell a joke in any situation.

Every comic whose jokes are included in the book will, of course, be credited right next to each of their jokes. In addition, the book will include a list of every comedian whose jokes are featured, which means you get a brief bio, including, if you like, your web page address (or, if you don’t have one, your E-Mail address).

Here’s the deal.

1. The main rule for these jokes is, the shorter the better. One-liners or two- or three-line jokes are best. When in doubt, 45 or 50 words is generally a good cut-off. However, if it’s on the fence, or slightly over, send it.

2. Jokes are welcome in every topic.

3. As far as language goes, I’d say if the book was a movie, it would be mostly PG-13 with flashes of R. No NC-17 or XXX. We’re going to generally avoid curse words, but, if a joke is simply brilliant and needs the profanity, we may be able to use it. When in doubt, send it.

4. HOWEVER, as far as subject matter is concerned, this is a book geared toward adults. No topic is off limits.

5. Send as many jokes as you like.

6. I’m looking to receive submissions as soon as possible. The deadline is October 5, but if you can send it earlier, that would be great.

7. Please feel free to forward this message to all your comedian friends.


Please send all submissions to me at

When sending your submission, please include:

1. Your Name
2. Your Snail Mail address
3. Your bio (including, if desired, your web or E-Mail address) – limit 50 words
4. In the subject line, please put: “Original submission for IDIOT’S GUIDE TO JOKES”

That’s all, folks. Thanks, and I’m looking forward to seeing your submissions on or before October 5.

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