JOKES TO SPICE UP YOUR BORING DAY
by Jessica Delfino
I painted my fingernails bright fluorescent day-glo green with glitter in them...to go with my bulimia!
Yes!
So, I went to CVS and bought some stickers, and the lady asked me if I wanted a bag, so I said, "No" but quietly added via my inner dialog, "I'll just stick them in my purse, like the lipstick and vitamins and candle holders and barretts and staples and the cute picture of the puppy covering it's face with it's paws and the female moustache bleach."
OK!! Here we go!
Any math whizzes in the audience? (Dead Silence) OK, great. Maybe one of you can help me solve this math problem. An F train leaves the Delancey Street station at 11:15 am going north about 27 mph. How long does it take for the next fucking god damn F train to get to Delancey Street Station, huh? Cause I don't have all fucking day!
Ta-da!
Thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the vegetarian turkey loaf.
1 comment:
You should go with, "Try the veal." It kills.
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