REINDEER POOPS SOLD AS ORNAMENTS!!

A zoo in Indiana is selling reindeer turds as pieces of these
actually quite lovely Christmas ornaments. For $5 smackers
a turd-laden treat, you can have your very own Shitmas.

This time of the year is always very special to me, as it reminds me of
the time a very nice gentleman made me thousands of new fans in
his awesome tirade via the Catholic League press release
he sent out starring...ME!

I am making my own very special ornaments this year
which I'll be selling at both La Superette and Diane O'Debra's
Show N Tell Holiday Bizarre.

They are made out of (unused) tampons and really put a
little holiday cheer where the sun don't shine.



Come visit me at La Superette (see their website for more details)
www.lasuperette.org
or Show N Tell on Dec. 15th, 10 PM, 308 Bowery.

PS -- Naughty Nautical Nite may be sunk for good, but I'm going
to be having my own naughty little nite. It's called just plain old
Naughty Nite. Come see the naughtiness I've got in store for you
on Thursday, Dec. 4th at 10 PM at The Slipper Room. $5. You
can also buy my tampon ornaments there...

DELFINO’S DIATRIBE: IT’S THANKSGIVING, TURKEYS!

Welcome to my monthly newsletter brimming with news, show listings, the treasure trove (great shows, people and things I recommend), links, castings and other goodies. Send listings of interest or add yourself to the mailing list by emailing me at jessdelfino@yahoo.com.

IN THIS ISSUE:

• Whatcha Been Up To, Jessica? News & Tidbits

• In Politics: Arty Activism, Local and World News of Note

• What’s New, Next, Nigh: Upcoming Shows & Events

• The Treasure Trove – People, Places and Things I Love

• Apartment For Rent

*******************************************

WHATCHA BEEN UP TO, JESSICA?

• Holy Pajamas! Jessica Delfino was featured on Playboy.com this month! Sorry, no boob-age exposure.

• Not for mom’s eyes: I’m in Time Magazine talking about my “Mile high club” experience. I also have an illustrated booklet of the ordeal for sale. Buy one for anyone you know who is obsessed with mile high experiences, or for anyone who wants to have one but doesn’t know how to make it happen. BTW, the Mile high club isn’t “really” a club. It’s more a horny group of frisk-takers.

• My new CD, “I Wanna Be Famous” received a nice review on Hyreviews.com. For those of you who know Hy, he’s had some setbacks regarding his health, so email him at Hy@hybender.com and send him your best wishes. It will only take a moment and could provide some serious holiday cheer. Santa is coming, after all, and he knows if you’ve been naughty or nice. So if you want that GI Joe mansion to go with the GI Joe Corvette, you better get to typing.

• Vagina Festival went off without a hitch. My vagina was there. It had a great time. It wasn’t a group of lesbians listening to Ani Difranco. It was an all encompassing performance and art experience that any woman or man could gain something from. Visit www.vaginafestival.com for more about what you missed.

• As some of you may know, I grew up in Damariscotta, Maine. I was reading about ‘Scotty (that’s what the locals call Damariscotta) on Wiki and had a nice moment when I realized that someone listed me as a “notable resident” on Damariscotta, Maine’s Wiki page, along with Erasure / Depeche Mode’s Vincent Clark. Read more about Damariscotta HERE. It’s feels so good to be noted.

• Naughty Nautical Nite Update: The show is ending, forever, as Dame Darcy is moving to Portland, Oregon in two weeks. But a NEW show is coming out of the ashes of NNN, which I will tell you more about VERY SOON. So keep your earballs tuned IN.

*******************************************

IN POLITICS:

• Newsjam 2 is up now. For our Newsjam fans out there, Newsjam 3 will be up soon, so pay attention! You can also check www.youtube.com/newsjam at random and cross your greasy little fingies!!

• Barack Obama won, and so did this guy. Well, let’s just call him a guy until given further instruction.

• Ollie’s Place is a no-kill open-cage animal shelter on 26th St and 3rd Ave where you can adopt a sweet kitty. Upstairs is a room with 25 open cages where kitties roam free. It’s got to be seen to be believed. If you’re thinking of adopting a kitty cat, this is a great place to go. They are always hiring volunteers and run on donations so please give your $ & time to them. Unless you’re allergic. Then, just give your money.

*******************************************

WHAT’S NEXT, NEW, NIGH: Upcoming Shows

• 11/28: Foregoing traveling home to Arkansas for Thanksgiving? Have some local fun with comedy & burlesque. Get your babes, buns and beers at The Cup, 388 Van Duzer St., Staten Island. 8 PM - $8.

• 12/04: If “readings” are your cup instead, check out long running “Inner Monologues” with a bunch of sexy, funny ladies at the helm (with the help of a few dudes as well). Everyone knows that literate women are hot. Bar on A, 10th St. and Ave A. 7 PM – Free show.

• 12/07: Speaking of readings, how about a book release party of very silly poetry? It’s the Jabberfucky book release party. Jabberfucking is basically when you replace important words in a poem with the word “fuck” instead. Shakespeare is probably fucking over in his grave right now. 308 Bowery @ 1st St. 2:30 PM – Free show.

• 12/13 & 12/14: LaSuperette, a massive awesome craft fair full of independent weirdo artists and creative types is going to blow you away Sat Dec. 13 and Sun Dec. 14th. I will be there selling my home-made crafts, including Aunt Flo’s olde-tyme sanitary napkins and my Christmas ornaments made out of tampons. If you can’t make it to La Superette but would like to make a private appointment to see my home-made goodies, email me at jessdelfino@yahoo.com. Merry Christmas from Jessica Delfino & Tampax!



*******************************************

THE TREASURE TROVE: People, Places & Things I Love:

• NYC based photographer Alex M. Smith takes beautiful pictures, like the ones he took of me at my show in London. I’m honored to be on his site alongside the likes of Michael Showalter and Fred Armisen. Hire him to take YOUR pictures. You can see his work up close and in person at “Rebuilding New Orleans”, an upcoming photography fundraiser / silent auction, at:

The Union Gallery
62 Walker St., Tribeca.
Dec. 4th. 2008, 6:30 – 9 PM
Previews Dec. 2, 3 & 4 from 10 am – 6 pm

• THIS INVENTION could change the world. (Hint – it goes on your butt.)

• For those of you who have ever been to GRUB, a vegan/vegetarian community-building meal in Brooklyn, this video by Jeff Stark starring lots of familiar faces, should speak to you. Warning: If this video actually speaks to you, you might want to see a doctor.

Join Jeff Stark’s AWESOME EVENTS MAILING LIST today to find out about future GRUBs and other great underground NYC shows and art. If you like to do things.

• If you like sassy, funny, pretty girls doing comedy on roller skates, then Amy G is for you. She MUST BE SEEN. Here’s your chance. I’ll be there too, so look for me and say hi.

Amy G in ROUND SHE GOES
@ Joe’s Pub
Fri Nov. 21, 11:30 PM

Get your tickets here

• If you’re a fan of Meatcake Comics, then check out Dame Darcy’s new book, “GASOLINE”. It’s really beautiful, and of course, it’s an illustrated tale of witches during the apocalypse. And don’t forget to go to her art opening at Sloan Gallery, Rivington and Norfolk, THIS Wednesday, Nov. 19th at 7 PM. It’s sure to be very FANCY. And it’s FREE.

• If you are in England any time soon, I strongly suggest you check out Carnesky’s Ghost Train. It’s a massive, fully functional circus ride that features the ghosts of Eastern European women who have disappeared in one way or another. It’s spooky!

*******************************************

APARTMENT FOR RENT

• My friend’s large studio apartment is in one of those rare, beautiful buildings in NYC that has a semi-outdoor garden / courtyard in the middle of the building. It’s serene, gorgeous and secure. It’s listed at $2200 but make an offer and see what happens.

*******************************************

CASTING CALL

• Casting new FITNESS show! Dance your ass off! Is every weight-loss program just too boring for you to stick to? The Oxygen Network is currently seeking men and women who are at least the age of 21 and who want to accept the challenge in this dance competition series where your loss is the biggest gain. To apply, visit: www.DanceOffCasting.com

*******************************************

TIL NEXT TIME

o Happy Thanksgiving. Email me with tips, notes or to be removed at jessdelfino@yahoo.com.

DELFINO’S DIATRIBE: IT’S THANKSGIVING, TURKEYS!

IN THIS ISSUE:

Whatcha Been Up To, Jessica? News & Tidbits

In Politics: Arty Activism, Local and World News of Note

What’s New, Next, Nigh: Upcoming Shows & Events

The Treasure Trove – People, Places and Things I Love

Apartment For Rent

*******************************************

WHATCHA BEEN UP TO, JESSICA?

Holy Pajamas! Jessica Delfino was featured on Playboy.com this month!

Not for mom’s eyes: I’m in Time Magazine talking about my “Mile high club” experience. I also have an illustrated booklet of the ordeal for sale. Buy one for anyone you know who is obsessed with mile high experiences, or for anyone who wants to have one but doesn’t know how to make it happen.

My new CD, “I Wanna Be Famous” received a nice review on Hyreviews.com. For those of you who know Hy, he’s had some setbacks regarding his health, so email him at Hy@hybender.com and send him your best wishes. It will only take a moment and could provide some serious holiday cheer.

Vagina Festival went off without a hitch. It was a great time and wasn’t a group of lesbians listening to Ani Difranco. It was an all encompassing performance and art experience that any woman or man could gain something from. Visit www.vaginafestival.com for more about what you missed

As some of you may know, I grew up in Damariscotta, Maine. I was reading about ‘Scotty on Wiki and had a nice moment when I realized that someone listed me as a “notable resident” on Damariscotta, Maine’s Wiki page, along with Erasure / Depeche Mode’s Vincent Clark. Read more about Damariscotta HERE.

Naughty Nautical Nite Update: The show is ending, forever, as Dame Darcy is moving to Portland, Oregon in two weeks. But a NEW show is coming out of the ashes of NNN, which I will tell you more about VERY SOON.

*******************************************

IN POLITICS:

Newsjam 2 is up now. For our Newsjam fans out there, Newsjam 3 will be up soon, so stay tuned! You can also check www.youtube.com/newsjam at random and cross your fingies!!

Barack Obama won, and so did this guy.

Ollie’s Place is a no-kill open-cage animal shelter on 26th St and 3rd Ave where you can adopt a sweet kitty. Upstairs is a room with 25 open cages where kitties can roam free. It’s got to be seen to be believed. If you’re thinking of adopting a kitty cat, this is a great place to go. They are always hiring volunteers and run on donations so please give your $ or time to them.

*******************************************

WHAT’S NEXT, NEW, NIGH:

LaSuperette, a massive awesome craft fair full of independent weirdo artists and creative types is going to blow you away Sat Dec. 13 and Sun Dec. 14th. I will be there selling my home-made crafts, including Aunt Flo’s olde-tyme sanitary napkins and my Christmas ornaments made out of tampons. If you can’t make it to La Superette but would like to make a private appointment to see my home-made goodies, email me at jessdelfino@yahoo.com. Merry Christmas from Jessica Delfino & Tampax!



*******************************************

THE TREASURE TROVE: People, Places & Things I Love:

NYC based photographer Alex M. Smith takes beautiful pictures, like the ones he took of me at my show in London. I’m honored to be on his site alongside the likes of Michael Showalter and Fred Armisen. Hire him to take YOUR pictures. You can see his work up close and in person at “Rebuilding New Orleans”, an upcoming photography fundraiser / silent auction, at:

The Union Gallery
62 Walker St., Tribeca.
Dec. 4th. 2008, 6:30 – 9 PM
Previews Dec. 2, 3 & 4 from 10 am – 6 pm

THIS INVENTION could change the world.

For those of you who have ever been to GRUB, a vegan/vegetarian community-building meal in Brooklyn, this video by Jeff Stark starring lots of familiar faces, should speak to you.

Join Jeff Stark’s AWESOME EVENTS MAILING LIST today to find out about future GRUBs and other great underground NYC shows and art.

If you like sassy, funny, pretty girls doing comedy on roller skates, then Amy G is for you. She MUST BE SEEN. Here’s your chance. I’ll be there too, so look for me and say hi.


Amy G in ROUND SHE GOES
@ Joe’s Pub
Fri Nov. 21, 11:30 PM

Get your tickets here

Check out Dame Darcy’s new book, “GASOLINE”. It’s really beautiful! And don’t forget to go to her art opening at Sloan Gallery, Rivington and Norfolk, Nov. 19th.

If you are in England any time soon, I strongly suggest you check out Carnesky’s Ghost Train. It’s a massive, fully functional circus ride that features the ghosts of Eastern European women who have disappeared in one way or another. It’s spooky!

*******************************************

APARTMENT FOR RENT

My friend’s large studio apartment is in one of those rare, beautiful buildings in NYC that has a semi-outdoor garden / courtyard in the middle of the building. It’s serene, gorgeous and secure. It’s listed at $2200 but make an offer and see what happens.

*******************************************

CASTING CALL

Casting new FITNESS show! Dance your ass off! Is every weight-loss program just too boring for you to stick to? The Oxygen Network is currently seeking men and women who are at least the age of 21 and who want to accept the challenge in this dance competition series where your loss is the biggest gain. To apply, visit: www.DanceOffCasting.com

Wanna see something really awesomely weird?

http://www.washlet.com/

A NOTE ON YOUR VOTE

Do you know where your polling place is and what time it is open until? You can find out by going here:

www.voteforchange.com

Tuesday is the big day. Put it in your palm pilot or just write it on your palm if that's all you've got.

On a side note, why is John McCain on SNL a few days before the election? Is SNL run by a bunch of republicans? Does putting him on the show so close to the election give him an advantage? Barack was on CNN on Halloween, and more people who vote are probably watching CNN than SNL. However, more people who are voting irresponsibly are probably watching SNL.

I'm going to vote for Barack. And not because I believe that Barack is going to save the world the way that everyone swears he is. But because I think of the two, that Barack Obama seems cooler, more level headed, in better shape, better poised, more organized, smarter, better educated and overall, the best candidate of the two we have. And, as it was so eloquently stated on The Great Schlep video, (I'm paraphrasing here) Obama might be our last chance at fixing the US's reputation as biggest assholes of the universe.

Jessica Delfino's Bloggy Time Machine

Today, we will go back into time on Jessy Delfino's Blog to recount the time I hitch-hiked from Burlington, VT to Montreal, Quebec to perform in the Montreal Comedy Festival, Just For Laughs. The year was 2006. This is a very interesting little first hand account about what it was like for me to be in the festival.

Enjoy!

http://jessydelfino.blogspot.com/2006/07/i-went-to-canada-all-i-got-was.html