Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Tomorrow: Lerman Holiday at Comix!!

8 PM

Featuring Ben Lerman, myself and others! Come and see what all this holiday
craze is about. And in the meantime, watch me kick Santa's broke ass!

And also check out this other show I am in tomorrow night, as part of Whoop Dee Doo:

Celebrate the holidays, Deitch-Projects-style with Whoop Dee Doo, "the strangest performance showcase since The Gong Show." A-Ron the Downtown Don and his merry band of crazies will be evaluating the gathered peformeres (SSION, Kembra Pfahler, the New York Ukelele Ensemble, and others) and will decide who will make it into the Deitch Deitch holiday fruitcake. Sounds tasty! Santa's Party House, 96 Lafayette St., (212) 343-8088. 8 p.m. Free.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Animated By Preston Spurlock

If you ever think that your girlfriend is "acting like a bitch" or if you are sick and tired of her antics every time her Aunt Flow comes to town, just remember the pure long and short of it -- once a MONTH for a WEEK she BLEEDS -- that is BLOOD POURS OUT -- of her vagina. Imagine if blood POURED out of your peckers once a month, DUDES. IMAGINE THAT! Let's think about it. You'd have to carry around a pack of PENIS PADS with you everywhere you went, or stick a dick-pon UP YOUR DICK HOLE. You know that long q-tip that doctors stick up your weiner when you get VD or whatever the hell other reason they might stick a q-tip up your cock eye? You don't like that, do you. It hurts, right? Now, imagine having to do that with some kind of dumb cotton rod the size of a cocktail wienie that is made of bleach and poisonous chemicals. Every day. Like, two or three times a day. Or imagine having to wrap up your weiner with tape and cotton like it's head was broken, just so you won't leave a huge red stain on your Gap khakis. Like three times a day. You can't ever go far from anywhere that there is a bathroom, because you might just need to run in there on a moment's notice to handle your blood leaking problem. So, just think about all this stuff the next time your girlfriend seems a little cranky. Rub her back or something. Make yourself useful. Watch this video.

Monday, December 15, 2008

The trailer for Victor Varnado's comedy movie featuring a bunch of very talented black comedians (Marina Franklin, Baron Vaughn, Hannibal Buress, Eric Andre and of course, Victor Varnado) looks great and showcases animation by a very talented assortment of artists, including me, Jessica Delfino. (Did you know I actually went to school for animation once upon a time? I graduated from the Art Institute of Philadelphia.) I animated Baron Vaughn's segment. Wow! It looks silly.


TONITE! I am in an on going comedy music contest at Stand Up NY, where I'm competing for $1000!!!! Come and cheer me on. It's a FREE show and the competition is actually VERY STIFF. Every week there is a home work assignment. This week, the home work assignment was something to do with the holidays.

Come see what I did!!

7 PM. 78th and Broadway. If you love me, show up tonight at 7 and cheer me on!!

If you can't make it, it's OK. Also, at 10 PM, I will be at 308 Bowery, selling my crazy tampon ornaments at the Show N Tell Holiday Bizarre, also featuring work by a very creative group of gals. Come get unique gifts for the people you love, instead of buying them dumb plastic crap made at gunpoint in strange places you will never go. Or even better yet. make them something yourself!!

Also, have your photo taken with Pantsless Claus and his naughty elves for just $2!!

Featuring a live performance of the non-denominational holiday songs by Secular Voices Of Heaven's Horizon! As heard in the documentary directed by Morgan Spurlock, "What Would Jesus By?" 10:30 PM.

And sign up to perform in the most outrageous and silly open mic in NYC! Diane O'Debra's Show N Tell!!

All of this for only $3.
10 PM - 1 AM.
Sign up at 10 PM.
308 Bowery at 1st St.

Monday, December 8, 2008

MUSIC / COMEDY...holding hands...making all kinds of plans...

You guys, I am entering this contest, and I totally have a shot at winning this $1000. Come out and support my dirty musical stylings!

Monday, Dec. 8
Music Is A Joke - It's a musical comedy stand-off
like American Idol meets Last Comic Standing. Five
comedian musicians compete, one wins $1000.
@ Stand Up NY Comedy Club -- 78th and Broadway
1 train to 78th St. is one way to get there
7 PM -- FREE

*Come and find out how to audition for the next round