JD holiday CD "PERFECT HOLIDAYS" is done!
+ ORDER INSTRUCTIONS
Are you dreaming of the dreams set into your head by corporate sugarplum fairies, promising you the bestest holiday ever? With piles of gifts and toys, terrific people who are kind and loving, on a day where the spiced egg nog flows like wine, and the wine flows like wine, too, not because it needs to to keep you from losing your sanity, but because it is nice to relax with loved ones?
[record skipping sound] Well, get with the program, sister or Mister, holidays aren't like that and haven't been since Norman Rockwell's 1950s. This holiday, grasp Murphy's Law by the balls and twirl it around like a lasso, trying hard not to knock over the tree or peg granny in the torso. We are going to celebrate a series of PERFECT HOLIDAYS, even if we have to FORCE them to be that way.
PERFECT HOLIDAYS is Jessica Delfino's third produced CD. It is an EP with 5 songs and 10 tracks, in total. It's short and sweet, the way I hope all our holidays are. And the back cover is TO. DIE. FOR. Just like your sins.
INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF PERFECT HOLIDAYS
1. There are only 100 copies of PERFECT HOLIDAYS in production and many of them were pre-ordered. However, relax! There are still some copies left. Each copy comes with artwork drawn by ME, signed and numbered. These CDs make a great gift for any bitter friends, dark humored relatives or Jessica Delfino fans. To order YOURS TODAY, go to www.paypal.com and LOG IN. If you don't have an account, create one. It's safe, fast, easy and free.
2. Click on SEND MONEY.
3. In the "SEND" box, type the email address: jess delfino at yahoo dot com (replacing at with @, and dot with an actual "dot" - ".") (Sorry if you feel overly instructed, these instructions are meant to be idiot proof.)
4. In the "AMOUNT" box, enter: $10 if you are in the USA. This includes shipping. Enter $15 if you are ANYWHERE ELSE. This includes shipping. You can put more than $10 or $15 if you are rich or generous.
5. This is a purchase of "GOODS" so mark it as that.
6. Click "CONTINUE"
7. Review your payment. Click "SEND MONEY"
8. Sit back and wait for your "PERFECT HOLIDAYS" CD to arrive at your door step, which will be by Dec. 1, 2010. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
I wish there were other ways to order the CD. Songs may be up on iTunes in a few, let's see what happens. Also, I may get a payment processing thingy through my website if PayPal freaks you out. But I've ordered hundreds of things through PayPal and nothing bad has ever happened. Also, I'm trust worthy and I don't have the means or brains to steal your credit card information, nor do I want your bad credit and debt.
Thanks so much for those of you who are encouraging me to be demented for a living! Damn, I have a fun life.