Today is 1/12/2012, or "Lookidy Goo" Day
Holy feces, everyone, did you see today's date? It's 1/12/2012. There is "12" TWICE in today's date 1 - 12 - 2012. Do you know what this means? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS? Symbiotic energy is all over the planet! People are interconnected with the stars and chickens and planets everywhere today. Some crazy shit is ABOUT TO GO DOWN!
Everyone, I instruct you to go buy extra water, at least 2-3 two liters of Cherry flavored Vintage seltzer. Grab a box of bandaids while you're at it, you never know what might happen today.
When you get home, hold hands with everyone in your family and meditate on the number 12, which represents the floors in buildings everywhere just below the 13th, or "invisible" floor. It also represents how many kids people must have in order to star on their own TV show about having a lot of kids.
So today is a magical day, indeed! Everyone, don't forget to look at the clock today at 1:12 pm and chant the words, "Lookidy goo, it's 1 1 and 2" for extra good luck. But the most important part to this magical day is believing in your cat's ability to see the future. The next time they are sleeping, watch their stomach gurgle. If it gurgles 3 times, an angel will be sent to watch over you next time you wash dishes. If the cat's stomach gurgles twice, look both ways before getting into the shower tomorrow.
Lookidy goo, everybody!