Jessy Delfino's Blog

JD in NY Times Modern Love

& Happy Valentine's Day

I've told the story before to friends, I've told the story to strangers, I've told the story to loved ones. It makes my boyfriend cringe to hear me recount the story because he thinks it was a cheesy way for us to have met. I can't say I disagree. But the bottom line is, we met 3 years ago on Craigslist when I decided to try to make people apply to date me, and we're still happily together. How's that for barf-inducing romance? Hollywood ain't got nothin' on us.

I wrote out our adventure for NY Times Modern Love column and though it didn't quite work for the column, the editor enjoyed the story and my twist on "writing a list", so he wrote about it in his recent NY Times love column which you can read here.

I was going to post the story I submitted to Modern Love on this blog but I may actually try to resubmit it or try to submit it somewhere else so just hold your horse jockeys and I'll let you know when it is in print and where. If you were at the Bell House on Friday night you heard me tell pretty much the entire story on stage.

Valentine's Day is one of my favorite holidays, corporately manufactured or not (aren't they all, kinda?) I love chocolate, I love the idea of love, and I love being in love. I've had good love, I've had bad love, I've had things that I thought were love that were actually soul wrenching self-inflicted punishment. I've had alone time, happy singledom and everything in between.

I think that love is a side effect of the human condition and a physical outpouring of our shared mental illness as a society, but don't get me started.

It just makes us, and specifically, has made me do really crazy things and not always in a good crazy way. I have a friend who tells a story about chasing an ex down the street yelling, "I'll kill ya, ya mutha fugga!" And she's not my only friend who has a story like that, I have other friends with similar tales. I have squirted mustard on exes, punched penises, cried until my head hurt, manufactured artificial betrayals and mourned real ones. I have fought over boys and I have let them go peacefully. I have done things I am too embarrassed to write here, and that is coming from a person who is in most cases impossible to embarrass, so you know it must be some pretty bad stuff. But in general, as crazy and chaotic as it can be, I love loving and being loved, and I am glad to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. I think I've finally got the hang of this crazy train, and now that I love myself so much more, I am free. I don't think that bad love can ever trap me again. That is the best love discovery I've made in nearly two decades of my experience with it. Mmm, on second thought, orgasmic exstacy may have it beat by a few notches.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone. Try to be kind to one another, especially the ones you love. Even if you don't love them anymore.