Sunday, April 13, 2003

Don’t Ask A Girl To Pee In Your Mouth (On The First Date)
By Jessica Delfino

Being a freak is fine, but timing is imperative, especially in regards to special requests.
When you go on a first date, ask a lot of unrelated sex questions. If the girl has a strong libido, she will bring up sex without your help.

When trying to involve bodily fluids into sex, be patient. If you aren’t patient, you should probably just pay for a hooker.

When you first get your girl to bed, then you can ask questions, but keep them soft core. Do you like this? What turns you on? Mild questions will open doors to more information. Don’t come on too strong. Instead of asking, “So are you going to pee in my mouth or what?” Try asking, “Have you ever peed in your pants? Isn’t it fun?”

Face the facts, sir. You may be a nice guy, but you’re still a pervert. Most girls don’t pee in guys’ mouths. It’s gross, it’s unsanitary, and it’s just plain weird. It doesn’t mean it’s wrong, necessarily, but it’s not common. You shouldn’t just expect that every girl wants to pee in your mouth. It’s important to create and maintain a level of trust before you jump into pee requests. You’d probably have better luck asking to borrow $100 on the first date.

Once you have reached a common comfort level, anything is possible. If a girl loves you, it is likely she will do just about anything for you. However, don’t accuse her of leading you on when at the end of the night she says, “I’ve really got to go,” and she doesn’t mean in your mouth.

No comments: