Thursday, April 17, 2003

by Jessica Delfino

Reply to:
Date: 2003-04-14, 10:07AM

We are looking for a plumber to fix leaky faucets in two buildings we have in Jersey City. The problem may be as simple as replacing the washer or as involved as replacing the faucet. We at a budget of around $20 per replacement. If you need to replace the faucet, we will reimburse you for the price of the faucet. Please contact Jean-Paul.

Dear JP

I couldn’t help but overanalyze, it’s just my nature, and I don’t mean to come off seeming like a freaky weird-nick, but I was wondering if by ‘fix leaky faucets’ you mean, engage in anal sex?

If so, I am definitely interested in this position. I was hoping that by ‘replacing the washer’ you meant frolicking among a queen sized matress in a dimly lit room. I know you have a ‘budget’ (huge testicles, right? Wink-wink, nudge, nudge) and all, but I am willing to ‘work with you.’

I am so horny, and I am really just dying to get reimbursed, really hard. Please let me know if your ‘faucet’ is still broken, because whether you like it to be ‘simple’ as you said in your ad, or quite complex, I think I’m the person for the ‘job.’

Have a great evening, hope to see your “Jersey City buildings.”


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