Jessy Delfino's Blog

Peter is a comedian/motivational speaker. He's come to talk to a group of people in Annendale, wherever that is.

PETER
You are so special! All of you have the capability to do huge things! Great things!
Yes, a question?

RIMRAM
(he's deaf so he has a deaf accent)
Penor, how gdigyou ferst reanithze nyou were....

PETER
(interrupts Rimram)
uh...excuse me..., what kind of accent is that?

RIMRAM
YI'm deav

PETER
Deaf? More like retarded! Hey! OK, now we're rolling!
You're so deaf, your voice sounds like you're really, really deaf!
Hey, so, you're deaf. Sorry to "hear" about that!
You know the good thing about making fun of deaf people?
They can't hear you! Is this thing on or are you just deaf?

Cut to an audience member who is crying.

RIMRAM
Nwhy ore nyou doingn nthis?

PETER
What's wrong, deafie? Can't take the heat or are you just deaf?
You know what, sir? I like you? You're what the blacks would
call, "Deaf" know what I'm saying?

Cut to an older lady who clutches her chest and gasps.

RIMRAM
Nwell, nyou're so ungfunny, th-th-tha-that nyou nyou...

PETER
(looks amazed)
Is that a stutter? A deaf guy with a stutter? Holy, shit, man,
you're a comic goldmine! You're a pre-written hack joke, waiting
to be unwrapped and presented to an audience of thankless
judgemental jews! Get outta here! And take your stutter with you,
you deaf freak!

Cut to an older man with a cane who is waving his cane in the air and
making outraged moaning sounds.

AUDIENCE MEMBER
Hey now you just wait a minute! Don't make fun of that man! He
has learned to overcome a life-shattering disability! What kind of
motivational speaker are you?

PETER
One who doesn't waste his wisdom on people who have no hope!
Have you ever seen one deaf president? A deaf astronaut? How
about a deaf rap artist? NONE! You know why? Because deaf
people are lazy!

ANOTHER AUDIENCE MEMBER
You are out of line, sir!

PETER
I think, no. Life is full of distractions
that can get in the way of your success. Don't let
deaf people ruin your life!

RIMRAM
Yi'm nleaving gnow.

PETER
Good! Thank you for ruining my show! Read
my lips - you ruined my show!
(Peter does some sign language looking hand motions)

LADY
You just said, "I ate an asshole sandwich."

PETER
What?

LADY
In sign language. That's what you just said. How
do you know sign language?

Peter is silent and looks a bit alarmed, like he's been busted.

LADY
Are you deaf? I asked you a question. How do you know sign language?
Are you deaf?

PETER
Yes.

The audience goes insane with gasps and whispers.

LADY
QUIET!
(back to Peter)
Well, you should be ashamed of yourself. Picking on
that guy, and you're deaf yourself.

PETER
Tank, let's just call it all off. Come on up here!

RIMRAM
Aw....alright, we had our fun!

Rimram goes up onstage.

PETER
Everyone, playing the role of Rimram, my best
friend who has 20/20 hearing - Tank!

Everyone sort of applauds, but is also confused. Rimram comes up onstage and
holds hands with Peter. They hold their hands up in the air together and bow. The
applause gets a little more intense. Peter steps back and puts his arms out palms
up towards Rimram as if to showcase him. Rimram bows. Rimram does it back to
Peter. Peter bashfully accepts the applause.

The End