Thursday, June 5, 2003


1. Walid's Mitsubishi Montero - For those of you who got to ride in the Montero last summer, you know what I'm talking about.
It was a minty/lime combo green SUV-like thing that was just as much fun as a bag full of shit (the good kind of shit).
I miss that old box. For those of you who didn't ride in it, you might recognize it from a joke I tell where the window of "my"
car got smashed out and I got punched by a fat weirdo. That was the Mitsubishi. So, if any of you can make that happen,
that's #1 on my wish list.

2. A guitar backback thing. It sucks carrying a 30 lb. guitar case every time I want to go play in the subway, thus taking money
away from the homeless, or even just play at some bar, where there are no homeless, at least not on the inside.

3. Improv Level 1 class at UCB. It's $300 bucks. That's a lot of subway music.

4. I want my Fender Amp Can to work like it used to before that kid knocked it on the floor at Believe Chicken.

5. One of those fancy Sprint camera phones like the one Travis Poston and Jay have. Fuck you, you spoiled assholes.

6. I'd like my college loan and all relating paperwork to magically disappear.

7. World Peace.

8. A kitchen table so I don't have to eat sitting on my bed anymore.

9. Tom Robbins - Skinny Legs and All, Chuck Palaniak - Choke

10. A Mini Disk player (and a lifetime supply of minidisks, also someone to do all the minidisk arranging or

11. One of those fat Panasonic or Sony movie video cameras

12. Fancy french perfume, or a string of real pearls, or both.

13. Gift certificates for exorbitant amounts to the following: Bergdorf Goodman's, Century 21, Circuit City,
and every single other store in NYC. Especially that porno shop near 40th and 8th.

14. To be Jewish in New York City, just for a day.

15. I'd like Joni Mitchell to be at my birthday party, and also Edward Furlong and Edward Norton,
sans Penelope Cruz. I'd also like to have a three-way with the two Edwards.

There are a bunch of other things, too, but who gives a crap, really?


I'm turning 27 - I swear to Christ!

MY BIRTHDAY PARTY is going to be on Saturday night,
June 7th at
Swift Hibernian Lounge --
aka "SWIFT"
(In the back room)
34 E 4th St (@ Bowery)
New York NY
(212) 260-3600
10:30, 11 to all night long
It's right next door to Bowery Bar

They have awesome food and a ton of draught beers, good
music and serve food until 4 am.
It's not expensive, either. Also, there is a
treacherous set of
stairs leading down to the bathroom, so that
could be fun.

Hope to see you all there...

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