Jessy Delfino's Blog

TWO PEOPLE WHOSE RELATIONSHIP IS VAGUE TO THE READER HAVE AN ARGUMENT

"You're a cunt."
"No, YOU'RE a cunt."

(pause)

"What is your fucking problem?"
"You are my fucking problem."
"You have been an asshole to me since the day I met you. What do you have against me?"
"Everything. You think you are so great and you are probably the most annoying person I've
ever met."
"But what exactly did I do to make you hate me so much?"
"Does it matter? The fact remains that I hate you."
"Yes, we both are well aware of that. But why not clue me in on what it is I've done to make
you harbor such resentment for me?"
"I don't harbor anything for you. When you aren't around, I don't even think about you. It's
when I see you that I remember I hate you."
"Oh."
"Yeah. So, fuck off."
"I was here first."
"This is the kind of thing that you do that I think is so annoying."
"What?"
"This thing exactly."
"What thing?"
"This thing you're doing right now."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Never mind, forget it. You know what I'm talking about."
"No, I don't."
"You know what? It doesn't matter anyway. You and I are never going
to get a long and let's just leave it at that."
"OK."
"Good. I'm glad we finally agree on something."
"It doesn't matter to me one way or the other."
"Me neither, really."
"Yeah, sure. I bet you would probably like to be friends with me deep down,
it's just that you have this stupid ego level to maintain and anger inside of
you which you can't let dissipate for feelings you have towards me that you
can't even articulate."
"I barely understood what you just said."
"You understood me."
"Maybe if you spoke in actual words that normal people use I could understand
you better."
"Maybe if you weren't so uptight and rigid you could make sense of what I'm saying."
"Are you calling me uptight?"
"Yes, I am. And I just did."
"I'm not uptight."
"You are."
"Fuck you."
"Noted."
"So, are we finished?"
"Yes, I think so."

(pause)

"Do you want to have a cigarette?"
"No thanks, I don't smoke."
"Since when?"
"Since never."
"Oh."
"Well, I guess I should be going."
"I don't care."
"I know. I said it more for me than for you."
"Oh. Well, whatever."
"Whatever to you, too."