DIRTY FOLK ROCK - AN ESSAY ON PARODY
Hi. My name is Jessica Delfino. You might know me as Jessica, or maybe Delfino, or maybe that fucking whore-bitch who writes all those vulgar songs.
WHY DOES THIS WHORE BITCH WRITE ALL THOSE VULGAR SONGS?
I want to talk to you about why this whore-bitch writes all those vulgar songs. Not many artists will divulge to you the secrets behind their creative process, at least not in a way that is interesting or enlightening. One reason why this is, is because some, most artists don't understand exactly why they make the art that they are making. I believe that it is just as important to understand why you create as it is to actually create. Why I create is not so important, really, as what I create, but I'll talk more about that later. What I want to address is what I create, and that is a little thing called "parody."
DEFINITIONS ACCOMPANY THIS ESSAY
Of the definitions listed on the accompanying page, of which you will see several, my favorite is "number" 2, (also a well-known parallel expression for the act of shitting.) It reads: Something so bad as to be equivalent to intentional mockery.
Whether you love or hate dirty folk rock, please understand that it is a mirror. Most of dirty folk rock is written with the intention of mocking fear. By addressing social phobias, we are that much closer to killing them. Death to social phobias! If you ponder everything that you fear ad nauseum, eventually you become desensitized to it, thus overcoming any fear of it. POINT: Hatred of a topic or genre is generally a symptom of fear. For example, if you hate how lots of dirty folk rock songs are about sex or rape, it is possible that you harbor fear towards sex or rape. Don't feel bad. Sex and rape harbor fear towards you, too. Dirty folk rock will bridge this gap, bringing you and sex and rape closer together until you can all kiss on the lips.
A COUPLE TRUE FACTS
FACT: A movie that shows a woman's breast getting kissed merits a rating of R. A movie that shows a woman's breast getting cut off merits a rating of PG-13.
America loves violence and fears sex. Don't fear sex. Sex is fun. Even if it is forced, I bet.
FACT: The part of the brain that creates sexual interest, stimulation is the same part of the brain that creates interest, appreciation of violence.
So then, why can't the two get along in your head? Let them kiss and have make-up sex. Then, maybe they can break beer bottles in the streets together.
TRUE TESTIMONIALS FROM FRIENDS
"Sex is great."
"I like to have sex."
"I've had sex many times and sometimes it's better than other times, but even shitty sex is still better than, say, washing dishes or going to work."
"I was raped by my father, so I have a hard time having sex without thinking about getting raped by my father."
The overall opinion rings clear. Sex is not scary. Songs about sex are not scary. Listen to songs about sex and enjoy them. Sing them to your parents.
EXPERIMENT FOR YOU TO PERFORM
Use these following words in a sentence to a person sitting next to you. (Try to use them all in one sentence if you can, but you may use one or two in a sentence and then one or two in a separate sentence until each word is used over the course of several sentences.) Don't be a fag, just do it.
HAIRY DICK BAG
VAGINA GINA GINA
SWOLLEN LABIA (pronounced LAY BEE UH)
If you are having a hard time creating a sentence, just repeat these:
So, my (or my girlfriend's) pussy hole slanted to the side. Does that mean her pussy is chinese?
Cunt innards are all pink, no matter the nationality. Just thought I'd say so.
My boyfriend's hairy dick bag is very hairy.
Como se dice vagina gina gina?
Swollen labia. Get it?
That bitch is fat. And she's got a fat gash, too.
(say this one in a proper english accent) Ever notice that you're a bloody twat?
If you use these words all the time, they will eventually lose their potent meaning and then we can use them on the radio, on tv, even in an insulting or derogatory nature towards loved ones. Maybe someday FCC officials will be forced to get jobs as wholesale beverage reps or approving loans over the phone to ex-felons. YOU can help make this beautiful daydream a reality, simply by using the above words in conversation every day. FUCK! COCK! LICKETY BALLS! SHITTER!
A WORD ON SHOCK VALUE
I have been accused of writing songs and jokes with the intent of propagating shock value. I don't give a shit or a fuck about shocking any of you or the value that may or may not lie in that. I am not trying to shock you. If I wanted to shock you, I'd do something shocking via an action or event targeted towards invoking shock. When I say fuck or shit or talk about abortion or rape, is that really shocking? Have you never heard the words shit or fuck or rape before? Maybe you've never heard them used in a song, but that doesn't make them new to you. Shock value is not my goal or intent, and it is upsetting to me that people aren't smart enough to realize that. Mike Wolf, music editor at Time Out New York has accused me, more or less, of trying to be shocking, as has Owen Burke of Upright Citizens Brigade and many, many of my comedy peers. It is very disappointing that people who I consider to be of average or above intelligence can't figure out or give me credit for being intelligent, maybe even having a point behind pukedick, shitface, Mr. Pee. In closing, go fuck yourselves if you think I'm just trying to be shocking. I'd like to say you don't get me, but that's a cliché that I don't believe in using, and you probably wouldn't get what I mean by that anyway. (See - that right there was a parody [of YOU.] Are you starting to get it?)
In case you are wondering, my IQ is very high. (Genius level.) So stick that in your ass and shit it out later. I'm not a dumb girl who curses a lot because I don't know how to use big words. Figure out what I'm trying to do for yourself, if you aren't a complete idiot, or in the future, you might try to read the book that will be written about it long after I'm dead. (If you do that sort of thing - you know, read.)
ON A VERY BASIC LEVEL - UNDERSTAND, PLEASE (OR AT LEAST TRY TO, IF YOU ARE OF AVERAGE INTELLIGENCE OR ABOVE)
Basically, I am hoping that anyone who doesn't like dirty folk rock will like it better if you understand why it is made, what it is for, what it represents.
I don't necessarily like the idea of rape. Necessarily. But why can't I talk about it? Why can't I say the word rape? Why can't I make jokes about my friend getting raped in an alley by six guys, one being a Mexican who worked the hardest out of everyone, without being accosted by a stranger via e-mail?
I'd like to say it's because everyone is a pussy. And then I'd like to agree with me. Don't fear the raper.
Rape the raper. Take his power away. Do you think a rapist could rape someone who was laughing in his face? I bet it would not be easy.
I could go on and on with this topic. I detest censorship more than anything and it is easy for this to bleed into the confines of the topic of censorship, and that isn't really where I'm trying to go with this. I am really, simply trying to explain dirty folk rock, parody, and justify my art, though it doesn't need justification, it stands on it's own. I just thought that it'd be nice of me to explain it a little bit, maybe, so that my peers will stop being such dicks to me and so that people in the audience might not feel as though their sensitive hearts were being commandeered by inappropriate verbiage.
In closing, dirty folk rock loves you. Fuck it's ass. It will let you. It doesn't even care if you wear a condom or not.
DEFINITION OF IMPORTANT TERMS USED IN ABOVE ESSAY AND WORDS IN THE DEFINITIONS THEMSELVES THAT MIGHT BE A BIT HARD TO GRASP
A literary or artistic work that imitates the
characteristic style of an author or a work
for comic effect or ridicule.
Something so bad as to be equivalent to
intentional mockery; a travesty.
Music. The practice of reworking an already
established composition, especially the
incorporation into the Mass of material borrowed
from other works, such as motets or madrigals.
A polyphonic composition based on a sacred text
and usually sung without accompaniment
A song for two or three unaccompanied voices,
developed in Italy in the late 13th and early 14th centuries.
A short poem, often about love, suitable for being set to music.
A polyphonic song using a vernacular text and
written for four to six voices, developed in
Italy in the 16th century and popular in England
in the 16th and early 17th centuries.
A part song.
The standard native language of a country or locality.
The everyday language spoken by a people as
distinguished from the literary language.
A variety of such everyday language specific to
a social group or region: the vernaculars of
New York City.
The idiom of a particular trade or profession:
in the legal vernacular.
An idiomatic word, phrase, or expression.
The common, nonscientific name of a plant or animal.