Friday, June 25, 2004


I found them at the library! (Answers and Chineses)

I am at the chinese library on East Broadway and lord, jesus, I knew that there were a shit load of asian kids out there, but I just learned today that the reason they're all so damn smart is because every single one of them is at the library.

I guess this is where they come to read and learn, and then when they get bored, excessively run and yell. (Maybe that's why they are such good athletes, too.)

THIS WAS NICE - NY BLADE writer Rachel Kramer Bussel was at our PS122 show, "The Dirtiest Sketch Show Ever" as part of Schoolhouse Roxx!, and she wrote us a flaming and lovely review.

The RAPE & CRY roof patio concert series continues Saturday, June 26th at 63 Pitt St. #5F. I wasn't going to put the address up on my site fearing an overflow of art rock lovers, but NY PRESS publicly listed the address when they gave the show a PICK for Sat. June 26th. (That's two picks for two shows in one month!) Awesome. 7 pm - 11 pm. It's $5 or pay what you wish, which means if you're rich, pay $5, if you're poor, pay $1, if you're middle-class, pay $3. AQUI's offshoot band will be performing, (basically AQUI sans the bassist) and will call themselves NOT HERE. Get it? Also, the BUNNYBRAINS will play, and HAUNTED PUSSY, psychadelic horror-opera which sounds fucking weird, and I promise, it is. There will be cheap booze and WHITE FIRE as well. For those of you who don't know about WHITE FIRE, well, lemme school you.

WHITE FIRE is a delicious dish I created to help me deal with the fact that I'm incredibly poor. It's white rice with salt, butter and hot pepper sauce, and it is served piping hot in a bowl. You eat it with a fork, and drink beer with it. It's fucking good. I'm going to sell it at the show for cheap, so come hungry. I intend to start a rock and roll food cart soon that I will push down to Ludlow St. on Friday and Saturday evenings. If all goes well, I'll sell veggie dogs and WHITE FIRE out of the cart while performers entertain the masses from a 3 ft. x 3 ft. platform attached to the cart, about four feet off the ground. Sounds awesome? That's because it's going to be.

Ann Carr & Shauna Lane will be performing at Collective Unconscious tonight (Stanton between Rivington and Delancey) both of them will be doing their one woman shows. They are both terrific performers. The show starts at 10 pm and it is $4. Ann Carr is going to be 1/3 of Haunted Pussy tomorrow night, sitting in for this one show for Mikie McQ, who has shirked her psychadelic horror-opera responsibilities in exchange for the sun and the cancer in Florida.

Here's a bad, awful joke:

I saw a little hispanic girl and boy holding hands in the park the other day, and they were so cute! It then dawned on me why hispanic families are generally so large. It's because they teach the girls that it's okay to start being sluts at a very early age. Ya know? 3 going on 13! I mean, jeez! Kripies!

I expect a full on-line back-lash from the asian and hispanic communities within the hour. K, guys? Don't let me down!

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