Thursday, July 29, 2004


I guess I'm one of those people who needs a lot of attention. I don't ever remember being so needy as a child, but now in my older years, I get very antsy if I don't get enough attention. If I'm alone all day, at the end of the day, I'll have a conversation with my roommate, even!

I am always wanting to hang out with friends or trying to get my boyfriend to hug or kiss me (which he is very strange about - sometimes he likes to maul me in public so roughly that strangers check in on me to make sure everything is okay, and other times he wouldn't touch me for all the snacks in the world. And I do mean chips and salsa and stuff.)

A friend suggested to me that I plant a garden, I guess they thought in my living room would be a good place, because where the hell am I supposed to plant a garden in NYC? Don't you need spending money and free time and a permit to do that? I'm not planting a god damn garden so that I can experience joy in my life. Plants don't like me. They always die when I try to make them live, and when I try to make them grow, they don't grow. One time, I grew a pot plant and a deer ate it. That's what happens when I touch other stuff that God made. It's his way of saying to me, "Don't touch my shit!"


LAST NIGHT Kurt Metzger called me. Turns out he went to the Montreal Comedy Festival to do "pitching it" and he did really well. A few magazines wrote nice things about him, like Hollywood Reporter and Backstage. I didn't tell him that Backstage wrote nice things about me close to a year ago. It's not nice to on purpose be a bitch to old flings who broke your heart. (But sometimes it's rejuvenating.)

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