Thursday, November 25, 2004


I am at my friend's in midtown watching the Macy's Day Parade. I considered giving y'all a blow by blow, but I think that channels 2,3,4,5,6,7,8,10 and 13 probably have it pretty well covered.

There's tons of yummy food here and we're on the 23rd floor, looking down over the balcony. I could spit on someone and they'd think it was raining. People are so gullable. It looks a little overcast, too, so it is totally doable.

The parade is actually kind of gay. It's a lot of marching and advertisement in the form of a float. Anyone in line to see the movie, "Chicken Little" ? Well, with the help of a float, the box office intake should be sky high...gross, was that just a Chicken Little pun? I promise you, it was unintentional.

I like being in NYC with friends, but I miss my family. I don't wish I was there, I wish they were here.

These drummers in the parade act so big. Dude, anyone can keep a beat on a bucket. Try playing a clarinet, and then we'll see how great you are. Helicopters are circling overhead incase anyone releases a bomb, disguised as humongous floating black baby. (A real float.)

There are kids on David's balcony, ripping up paper and throwing it into the crowd. See the differences that bring the poor and the rich together? They're making confetti! There's nothing more in the spirit of the holidays than the rich littering onto the heads of the poor and middle classes.

The music in this parade sucks. I can't even dance to it. I think the band is playing the theme to Dallas. I think that reference will get lost on many a tiny ear. I embarrassed myself this morning, when the band was playing the Madonna song, "Holiday." I said to the kids, "That's Madonna! Do you guys like Madonna?" And they replied, "Who?"

There are people on the planet who don't know who Madonna is? There is something gravely wrong with America's schools today.

Cool, more drummers! And get this - they're drumming shit! Paired with the car horns of mid town, it's like a duet of beats and beeps. Sweet Jesus, forgive me. OK, that IS DEFINITELY the theme from Dallas. Guys - is that the most common denominator theme song slash Thanksgiving mood music you could dig up?

So, this has been my play by play of the Macy's Day Parade. There's a lot of parade left, but I have to go get drunk on Mimosas. That's what rich people drink to celebrate how they have more than the poor. Champagne makes me feel rich, even though I'm not. So, I guess it's also what poor people drink to make them thankful that they're not "like" the rich (everything besides having all that cold dough.)

Thank you, and have a blessed day of dead turkeys and carnage, won't you all?

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