Friday, May 6, 2005


I have a new e-mail newsletter I've been sending out to my mailing list. I call it Delfino's Diatribe. It's reminiscent of the old e-mail newsletter I used to write called the Believe Chicken e-mail, which was basically a promotional tool for my old comedy show, Believe Chicken.

That letter was a lot of fun to make. I'd usually write a long, strange story kind of thing, and then end it by inviting everyone to come to Believe Chicken, a free show at Nightingale, near Union Square, which I co-ran with comedian pal Liz Laufer for 8 months.

With that, I pissed off a lot of people. I sent out one e-mail preaching the "Believe Chicken promise" which was that I would never remove anyone from the mailing list, no matter how much they hated the letter, but if they really wanted to, they could send a snail-mail letter asking to be removed, and we'd read the letter. I sent out another letter where I talked about how a young kid of 17 had gotten in trouble for raping an 80 year old woman. In it I discussed why this was wrong, for a multitude reasons, including the fact that the eldery were unfuckable. I also made up a slogan for my disgust; "Don't rape the elderly -- when they were young, bread was a nickel!" (The second slogan was "My body is not a shuffleboard court!") The letter was deemed ungood by many peers and industry dorks, (two comedians on the show that week actually cancelled their spots!) and was hailed by comedians I admire, like Jim Norton, Leo Allen and Kurt Metzger. Unfortunately, it probably doesn't help my case too much that they're all dudes. You show me a guy who doesn't hold a torch for rape and I'll show you a rapist.

SO, I've sent out two issues of DD (Delfino's Diatribe!) which goes out every Thursday for now. The result has been a well-received comedy-flavored newsletter. So far, only five people have asked to be removed. I call that success. I hope I don't give up on it after six weeks.

And here's a nice bow-tie tie-up -- the editor of NY Press wrote to me today and asked me if I'd like to put Delfino's Diatribe on the NY Press website, weekly. I wrote him back and told him I'd do it, but only if he paid me a million dollars an hour. He said yes.

E-mail me to be added to the Delfino's Diatribe mailing list - -- you can also e-mail me to say hi, or make expressions and points using various punctuation marks.

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