Saturday, July 30, 2005

Notice the "P" in this POOL

I walked around the other scorching, stifling day to try to find some sweet relief in the form of a chlorinated, over-crowded pool. I found a nice pool on Thompson St. near Spring St. and my heart welled with sweaty joy until I realized it was a children-only pool. What do kids know about being hot and overworked? Why should they get all the cool water? Why isn't there a 29 year olds only pool somewhere?

So, I took an over-heated walk over to the pool at Varick St. and Carmine, and when I got there, I noticed the pool was swarming with sharks - the men kind. It was also just about to shut down for a break, I assume to torture hot New Yorkers so that when they opened it back up it'd seem that much more awesome.

As I was walking away, I rounded the corner and noticed the line - about 150 loud teenage people long. If that wasn't intimidating enough - there was a sign that read, "No bathroom available until 5:30 PM." That meant when the pool opened at 4, there'd be no place to "go" for an hour and a half - no place, that is...except for a cool, chlorinated body of water encased in plastic and tile.

New York City really puts the poop in pool. Why not just have a public shit and piss pit? Knowing this city, it's slated for 2006. I won't be surprised if they even charge admission.

It's disturbing to know that in a city with a budget of 50 Billion dollars, they can't toss a grand to the toilet department at the public pool.

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