ALL ABOUT ME

When I started this blog four or five years ago (seems like just yesterday!) I began it with the intention of writing every day so that I could become the best writer in the world, or at least good enough to write one damn stinkin' book, if I did nothing else with my life, ever. I used to write little stories and poems a lot, mostly when I had day jobs, because I hated working at those lame temp jobs and it was really thrilling to be getting paid to write entries on my blog (when I should have been filing) to show the man he couldn't hold me down forever!

Another thing I always used to do on my blog was write very revealing stories about ME. What I was doing, what I was going to do, what I was working on, what a dick my boyfriend was, how much my life sucked, and on and boring on.

I haven't really been writing on my blog lately, because I bored myself off of it. I have mostly just been using it to post show flyers and comedy related tid-bits, which is just as boring, but a lot less divulging. Which is bad for the reader, but good for the readee.

But another thing I realized with the now nearing a million views of my FAMOUS video was that I like my anonymity, actually, or what is left of it. No one knows who I am, except for those 800,000 youtube watchers, and those people only exist on the internet. And I like that. I don't really want to lose that. Can you imagine having to fight off the paparazzi every time you stepped out the door to pick up a grande latte? And what about having to wear underwear or else your crotch would be some dude in Ohio's screen saver? I don't want to live in that world.

I'm not rich or famous, though maybe I will be someday. I may not be writing as much on my blog as I used to, and I may not be revealing as much personal information as I used to (did you ever really give a shit anyway?) But regardless, I promise to continue writing the most ribald dirty folk rock songs I can muster, and I promise, no matter how famous I get or don't get, to never wear underwear. I believe the beaver should be free! Just like this blog -- of embarrassing details of my life.

Maybe that means I'm growing up?

Ughh, gross.

THIS MONDAY, 8:30 PM

Come to A Night of Wonderment at Castle Verde, featuring Gina Vetro, Magin Schantz, Bilge Baron, The Gargoyles (Rob Bose and Arik aka "Juggernut"), Rosie Rebel and YOU! At the new lovely Green Room Theater, 45 Bleecker Street at Lafayette. Tickets are $12 but you can get them for $6 with this fancy code:

"Two for one tickets available with code 8T2FOR1 at door or online."
You can see all four shows at the theater that night for $6!

This is my Halloween extravaganza show featuring Bilge Baron, who has been awoken from a scary spell by a ghoulish gurgley man. She must entertain and fellate him daily if she wants to keep the spell from returning - or find someone to take her place! Maybe it will be you? Bring your spooky act to audition for the part of gurgley man fellater / entertainer!! Now, doesn't that sound like fun?

More Info:

http://off-book.com/the8track/oct22flyer.jpg

JESSICA DELFINO IN A COUTURE BATTLE! THIS THURSDAY!

I always loved couture as a young sassmouth in small town America where I spent many an afternoon being babysat by the most recent issue of ELLE, Seventeen (which my dad wouldn't let me read til I was Seventeen because "I wasn't 17", JANE and VOGUE. I would then put it down and put on my flannel. Well, things have changed and I don't have to wear flannel anymore -- unless I want to! But I still love that crazy couture all those skinny hags would model, hanging off their meatless bones like a tent hanging on a tree branch.

Now the time has come for me to experience couture first hand.

Two Questions:

1. Do you love crass couture and feral fashion?

2. Do you love Jessica Delfino?

If so, you shouldn't miss this show that I'm performing/competing in. It's a fashion battle called "Style Wars". Contestants (8 groups of us of whom were hand-picked for a combo platter of performance-y type spirit meets erratic sense of fashion) will fight to the DEATH in a three round power house clothes-off!

In my corner, I am very proud to have on my fighting team Ji-won Li and Magin Schantz, two fearless scissor toting bitches who will sew our opulent opponents a new dress hole! There is cash money at stake and some serious glitz to be garnered. I'm in this to win this!

Here is more information about the show, which is THIS SATURDAY, OCT 13th at 10 PM at Don Hill. This isn't going to be a Calvin Klein cat walk, NO! This is going to be a scathing, high-energy madhouse, replete with antics, tricks, cliques, shticks, pricks, musics and kicks. Present will be the paparazzi, the press and celebrity guests, so dress to impress! If you plan to attend and would like to be on team "a few tricks up her tightly tailored sleeves" Delfino, email me and let me know! I could use a few more good women and men and I have some planzzz.

SHOW DETAILS:

(From Flavorpill.net):

House of Diehl presents Style Wars: The Style Battle Championships

when: Sat 10.13 (10pm)
where: Don Hill's (511 Greenwich St, 212.219.2850) map
price: $12 / $8 advance
links: houseofdiehl.com

Feeling that the hip-hop set shouldn't have all the fun, House of Diehl is staging a battle tour — for couture. Aspiring designers go head-to-head with minimal materials, audience members as models, and DJs Druzzi & Mattie (Throne of Blood/the Rapture) and the Ruff Kids shredding the decks. A panel of celebrity judges — including Mick Rock, Casey Spooner, Princess Superstar, and Whitney Museum curator Shamim Momin — decides who earns a handsome cash prize and goes on to the grand finale, set for later in the year. Sit back and watch as Project Runway-style competition plays out live and gets unruly. (RB)

Note: Be on the lookout for Flavorpill spot-rockers Justin and Myla, who'll be taking shots for the photo gallery on our recent events page.

Oooh, oooh, and here's another something fun...

SOMETHING FUN

It's T-Top Trans Am! starring Ben Lerman, Diane O'Debra and others...don't forget to rate it and pass it on, god dammit all to hell

HERE'S SOMETHING FUN!

(Click on the above HERE'S SOMETHING FUN! to see something fun)
(If you must know in advance, it's a video starring one Mr. Reggie "Who Doesn't Love This Guy" Watts called "What About Blowjobs?")

And guess who the freaky green alien girl from the future is? Just guess! No, guess! I'm not going to tell you! You have to guess!

And in other news, tonight is your last chance to see HOT BLOOD, the coolest show on the face of the planet.

VORTEX THEATER
11th Ave bet. 22nd and 23rd Streets
It's the only thing on that block besides UHAUL
(across the highway from Chelsea Piers)
Delicious bloody marys & sangria available for cheap-y
$15 for the show experience of your life
Very inspiring show, really!!
8 PM - do not miss it!

TONITE IS THE NITE!!

Hot Blood Cabaret
Vortex Theater
11th Avenue right between 22nd and 23rd Sts.
It's the only thing on that block besides UHAUL

$15

free popcorn
magical madness, bloody blood times

do not miss this show!

8 PM