Friday, November 23, 2007

MAKING UP WITH MAC

I went to art school in Philadelphia. I studied computer animation. At the time, Macintosh computers were all the rage for animation purposes. I liked Macs. They were cool. They were different than the clunky, calculator looking PCs. Unfortunately, they also caused a lot of problems for me. Hours and hours of work lost; classes failed; files corrupted. It happened over and over again. I swore off Macs one cold day in January when I tried to open a very important file for a final I had and all I got was a blinking smiley computer for about an hour on three different computers. Never again, I said, will I use a Mac. Macs can go fuck themselves. Hard. Roughly. With no protection. I hoped Macs everywhere got AIDS.

Not to mention, Mac reminds me of McDonald's, a horrible corporation I swore off a dozen years before Super Size Me. I hope McDonald's also gets AIDS, for different, but in some ways, similar reasons.

So, it's pretty interesting that I'm sitting here typing away on a new MacBook. It's one of those white jobbies that looks like a delicious bar of soap -- or maybe white chocolate -- you can't tell by looking at it, you have to smell it and maybe even break a chunk off into your fingernail and take a risk and taste it. Mmmmm. Chocolate flavored soap.

Using this computer is like driving a BMW -- I would know -- I've taken one for a test drive. It rides smoothly, this little box. It purrs so silently, I keep having to check it's heartbeat to make sure it's alive.

But I shouldn't get too excited yet.

You know how it is when you get a new love. At first, it's all cherry blossoms and down comforters. Everything is a lemon popsicle, lace trimmings are abound. You could just stare at each other for hours, though you never do. But slowly, things start to get weird. You start noticing things. And that's when the trouble starts. So, I'm going to really to just enjoy this time when everything is new and sparkly, where I still love the whiteness and everything is clean and friendly.

Mac, I'm sorry for hating you so hard. I forgive you for that "F" I got. Let's have a new go at it and see how long this friendship lasts!

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