Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Last night I went out to dinner at a lovely little restaurant in Dumbo. A friend of mine took me there as a surprise.
He also had another surprise for me -- some very fancy whiskey in a plastic Poland Spring bottle. He whipped it
out of his jacket like a creepy scientist and began to pour it into our water glasses.

"Um, I don't think you're allowed to do that," I said, getting nervous for once at the concept of breaking the rules
instead of embracing them as I usually do. I hope that doesn't mean I'm an adult now. Shit.

He shrugged his shoulders and said in his classic downplay voice I've come to know and have mixed feelings about,
"Jess. It'll be fine. Cheers." He held up his glass, the size of a small juice cup, filled almost to the brim of this fancy
whiskey, and clinked glasses with mine. 'Maybe he knows something I don't,' I told myself. 'Maybe this place is a
BYOB. Most of these little restaurants are, aren't they?' I salu'd him and slugged away.

A few minutes later, a waiter came over and asked us if we wanted a drink, but noticed our glasses were already full.
He got very agitated, insisting it's illegal to bring your own liquor into a restaurant, not to mention, very rude.
I tried to cover for my pal saying, "Uh, isn't this place BYOB?" He said, "No, it's not," and stormed
off. For the next 15-20 mins we got a pretty vigorous silent treatment, and I was beginning to wonder if maybe we should
leave. I was actually starting to get kind of pissed, because we were about to drop about $100 on dinner (that's what
it would cost us to eat there) and they were being dicks about the $20 we weren't spending. But right before I finalized my decision to gather my coat and trot out of that popsicle stand, the waiter broke and started treating us like paying customers again.

I'm glad it worked out, because the food was amazing. It was one of the most delicious meals I've had at a restaurant
in NYC ever. And I don't even know the name of the place. However, I will be back and I will take friends. Next time,
I'll buy my booze there, I guess.

After that debacle, I left to go to the Ars Nova Ant Fest party. It was a lot of fun, with tons of food that I couldn't eat
because I was already too jammed full of yummy dinner and fancy whiskey. I hung out and chatted with a few pals
and met a couple of new ones, did a couple of interviews, one spontaneously instigated by another performer (he
asked me 20 questions about my life and for some reason, I answered them all) and then jetted out into the night, my hair all flowing all sexy behind me, playing over my black sequined dress like I was some kind of lame super star.


Come to the Kong Magazine Launch Party in Williamsburg at Matchless Bar, 7-9 PM.
It's going to be awesome, and me and the skits gals are going to do our famed "Sexercise" sketch that all the kids know and love.

Matchless Bar, 557 Manhattan Ave
Williamsburg, BK, NY
7-9 PM

After that, both Steph and I will be performing in Katrin Heir's show at Comix's Ochi's Lounge. Be there or disappoint me.

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