Friday, December 11, 2009


...of sorta Philadelphia this weekend, celebrating Hanukkah, no, I'm not Jewish, thanks for asking, but some friends are and so this girl here named me packed up her bags, including the big one that Tyra Banks told me not to carry and then later gave me, left the big city and went to a medium sized city to learn and partake in the festival of lights.

And what a fest! We started the evening with veggie reubens made with those sweet ass smoked tempeh fakin' bacon strips, moved on to baking sugar cookies and completed the evening watching old Pee Wee Herman, Peter Paul & Mary and Stevie Nicks videos. It was a real night of Reubens. Thank you, I'll be here all weekend. I opened my Hanukkah gift -- THE STRANGERS WITH CANDY TRAPPER KEEPER!!! -- and we watched about 8 episodes while sipping tea in front of the fireplace.

God, I wish I was Jewish. These people know how to live!

I was in a movie a few weeks ago created by Victor Varnado and a bunch of other friends. In the movie, I played a mentally challenged drug dealer's assistant (Myka Fox). You can't imagine the research I had to do to accurately portray the role. (Side note: After the film, I rushed to be in the Miss G Train competition, which I got kicked out of in the first round with a success story about how I saved my money and moved out of Brooklyn and how now I ride the F train and I'm relieved because the G train sucks, and I was wearing the retard assistant coke dealer's costume and I looked like an uber idiot.) Anyway, the movie trailer is up and ready, see it here. I'm not in the trailer, but you may recognize some other faces, such as Micah Sherman and Eliza Skinner.

In other news, I found out yesterday from a Keith and The Girl listener that the song I wrote and played at my Charmin "Enjoy The Go" Times Square bathroom entertainer audition is now up and live, being played for passing pissers and poopers who happen in to utilize the fancy cans. I had 2 call backs and they didn't end up hiring me, but they liked my song, and now you can like it too, as you're "heaving and straining" in the Times Square crappers, or you can save the $4.50 round trip it would cost you to take the subway and just watch it here on the front page of the Charmin Enjoy The Go website. If you want to go see it live and in person, I don't blame you. I think the #1 and #2 trains go there, heh heh.

I was also thinking I might head up there next week, linger around the lavatory with my ukulele and suck up a little attention as I get spotted by relieved patrons, post pee pee.

OK, gonna go face plant onto the king coils of my guest bed.

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