Monday, January 18, 2010

JESSICA DELFINO REVIEWS AVATAR




Yeah, I saw it, in 3-D, even. My boyfriend (like many people's boyfriend) is a movie / tech nerd. Hey, I like a film as much as the next perverted ditty singer, but I would have been fine watching it like poor people at the regular $12.00 ticket price, versus the $25.00 3-D price. (From what I understand, the $25.00 ticket price covers the cost of collecting the 3-D glasses and sending them to some 3-D glasses cleaning place.)

I tried to talk my bf into seeing it in 2-D. "What's the big deal?" I said. "It's $25.00!" I complained. "Jeezum crow!" I elaborated. "I mean, ferchrissakes, is it really going to be that much better?" However, movie / tech nerd bf was holding out for the 3-D tickets. However, most of the 3-D theaters in Manhattan are totally soldzies outzies, some for weeks. Enter my lucky magic stubbornness. There's something you should know about me. This girl never pays retail. EVER. It's something I take pride in. I learned it from my mom. And, at this point, it's a system I've got down pretty well. Whatever I need, I can usually get for free or cheap. Someday I will write a book about it.

I got on the horn and called up an old friend who I knew was in charge of security at a theater in my neighborhood. He'd told me to call him anytime I wanted to catch a little flickage. I left him a message asking him to help a sister out.

Come through, did he ever!! He called me on Saturday night as I was getting ready to head to a party and he said, "I got 4 tickets here for you to the 3-D showing of Avatar." I ditched my party plans and found myself a new plan that involved 2 free 3-D tix to Avatar and one hour notice to give them away, on a Saturday night. I texted about a dozen friends, and 1 responded immediately that he was in. The other ticket went back to heaven, where it had come from.

At the theater, our security guard friend walked us up to the front of the line and handed us our glasses. "OK, you're in. Have a nice time," he said.

We got PERFECT seats -- 6th or 7th row from the top, dead center. I was very skeptical about what 3-D was going to do for the movie. When the previews started, I put on the glasses and almost got sick for a second during the Alice In Wonderland snippet. Watching in 3-D for me was like balancing on a boat in high heels. But I'm from Maine and spent a fair amount of time on the water, so I got used to it in no time. It was, in 3 words, totally psychedelic, man -- it brought back memories of black light posters and psilocybin, Led Zeppelin nights and memories I wasn't even sure were real or imagined. However, my sweet, movie / tech nerd bf, the one who'd busted my chops to see the film in 3-D for weeks, was a dizzy mess. He hated the 3-D effects and ended up watching the whole movie sans glasses. TOO BAD FOR HIM! He missed out on something awesome. Every so often, I'd look over at him and pat his hand. I'd notice he looked pissed and slightly green. Or was I tripping?

Again, I would like to state for the record that I did not go into this movie a) expecting to like it or b) understanding what 3-D would add to it. I came out of the movie a changed person with a new love and appreciation for 3-D.

I actually enjoyed the movie very much, psychedelics and large budget aside. But psychedelic doesn't just describe the 3-D viewing of the film. The story line is about a hippie alien race who are connected to their planet (Pandora) using metaphors I found to be slightly sexual & computer-y. For example, they connected their bodies to the animals by touching fleshy rods which grasped onto each other. Thus, they could feel what the animals were feeling, and vice versa. I saw parallels to what America did to Indians, and the Indians spiritual connection to the earth and all living things. I didn't like the heavy handedness of the film towards the bad attitude on behalf of the human government and soldiers, and I'm normally often anti-gov. I thought it was too aggressive and too fabricated. It made me take myself out of the story line and want to defend the gov in my head, and I'd rather have just been able to sit back and enjoy the movie fully. I just had a really hard time believing that they would destroy an entire race of people and their sacred lands, in this day and age, knowing what we know, after what we've already been through as a society, with joy and delight. Frankly, that decision in the script kind of pissed me off. I also hated the idiotic main character's (Sully) dufus-y personality and I don't think it even made any sense. What was the point? To show that morons have feelings, too? I just didn't get it.

I'm a film trouble shooter by nature. I go through it piece by piece like a detective, asking questions. Not out loud -- thankfully for you all. But in my head, I'm taking notes, like your elderly aunt. "Now, why would he do that? That doesn't seem reasonable," and "Well, wait a minute, but back there, they did that. That doesn't fit." Thus, going to the movies as me, with me, in my head, is kind of a pain in the ass. My stupid brain just won't shut up and let me watch the movie.

Anyway, all things considered, I really enjoyed the movie a lot, and I'm a real stickler who hates lots of things. I would give it an 87 / 100. What is that a B+? That's better than I did in school, most of the time.

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