Jessy Delfino's Blog

Zombie Night, oh what a night

We knocked the crowd "undead"

Last night, Inbred Hybrid Collective's Book Club Burlesque was the place to be. The joint was packed, the cops were called, there was blood everywhere, cameras were rolling, it was an amazing night to be a zombie or merely a zombie aficionado. Look for the event on HDNet's "Deadline" show. I will keep you posted on the details.

I dressed up as a medieval zombie princess in form to the night's theme, "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" and played a new zombie themed song on my autoharp called, "Zombies are made of Stupid People". I also wrote / read a brief essay entitled, "All I know about Zombies". You can read it below. For more information about the next Book Club Burlesque event, friend this guy or check this out. The next Book Club show theme book is "Fight Club" so get reading and keep your eyes out on my calendar for the next date.

Tonight, catch me at Jena Friedman's Entertaining The Bartender at Angels and Kings at 9 PM. More info is on my calendar to the right of this entry. Hope to see you there.

****************

All I Know About Zombies

By Jessica Delfino

Zombies are the worst monster because they are made out of really stupid people. Other monsters inherit super human strengths and abilities. Vampires can fly and become slender, beautiful and rich forever. That’s awesome. They are the American apparel staff of monsters.

Werewolves can run and jump and go on to have a successful careers even with Parkinsons disease. Werewolevs are the famous sociopatic Olympic athletes – the Tanya hardings of the monster family.

Zombies become ugly and travel in large mobs of ugly people, forever stuck wearing shreds of whatever ugly outfit they wore last. They also stay fat forever, decay and seem distracted. Zombies are the Midwestern toll collectors of monsters. I’m gonna guess they probably smell really bad, too.

Whoever invented the zombie concept was a real creep. Oh, I think it was actually Jesus, the first documented mortal to rise from the dead.

Finally, vampires and werewolves eat great meals and drink wine and blood. You can never tell if it’s wine or blood, that’s fun. Zombies eat brains. Have you ever had a brain before? A cow or chicken brain? I mean, with knowledge and consent, not in hot dogs. No, you haven’t, because who would eat a brain as a meal? Only the Chinese, which in effect, makes them the closest the human species gets to being real zombies.

The End.