I LOST THE LIGHT
My cat jumped up and knocked over my fluorescent mercury filled light the other day, breaking both my lamp and my lightbulb, spilling mercury all over my house.
After sweeping it up and probably getting mercury poisoning, I looked on Craigslist for a lamp -- that is where I find everything I need in life -- (if you don't know, I found my fiance there) -- and I found this listing offering a free original Tiffany lamp if you wrote a good poem. So I wrote this poem:
Ode To Lightby Jessica Delfino"Light!" They say, He said out loud"Let there be light!" He yelled out proudAnd just like that, the lights turned onAnd mountains came, and dusk, and dawnAnd animals and bridges, tooAnd octopi and 2 Live CrewAnd Amish people, turtles, rainAustralia, France, Chicago, Spain!But light was somewhat primitiveNot yet a gift that we could giveAt weddings or online for freeThat would not come til, later, seeWhen Mister Edison came roundAnd others with a dream aboundLike Tesla and Sir Newton, too,Ben Franklin, that whole thinking crewThey knew that sun light would not doAnd fire was quite risky, tooThere must, must be a better wayTo light the night up like the dayThey went to work and fought and learnedAnd countless hours of daylight burnedAnd finally they let there be lightInside, outside, even at nightAnd now we have light everywhere,We leave lights on without a careMy dad would yell, and say, "Woah, hey!Don't leave the lights on, dammit! K?"Oh, how it's changed so through the yearsBeen utilized, encouraged cheersEnlightened homes, killed germs, quenched fears,Lit up the stage for Britney SpearsNow I'll cease to pontificateYet, know, though switch flicks I createEach time I smile at the sunriseThe beauty falls not on blind eyes
However, I was disappointed to receive this in reply:
Congratulations on being the runner up in our light poetry competition!
If you would like to pick up your consolation prize of a stained glass light bulb, please get in touch as soon as the rain lets up.
p.s. Your poem was fantastic but my alter ego [XXXXXXXX] felt she needed to disqualify you because she knows you in real life. What are the odds?
I could go on about how irritated that a person I don't know knows me and therefore disqualified me from winning a really gorgeous free light, but then, I guess you win some free Craigslist lights and you lose some free Craigslist lights.