Jessy Delfino's Blog

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Worst Cook In America

* aka *

"Delfino's Dishes and Delicacies"

I happen to think I'm a very, truly "ok" cook. I make recipes that I think will taste good while sort of being low in fat and cholesterol. Today, I prepared what I would characterize as a mouth watering entree for lunch.

First off, let me just mention that this afternoon was terrific. I spent it in Hoboken filming a segment for Otto & George's "Pig Roast" show. It was really funny show and each and every single person I came into contact with today from Otto & George (Awesome) to Brian O'Halloran (Clerks, etc) to Mr. Pregnant to all the producers and assistants were top notch super-humanly sweet and awesome. It was really refreshing to work with a group of people as NON-uptight and unpretentious as them. I can't remember the last time I worked with such a great group, top to bottom. It's been a long time.

However, I had to walk a mile and a half to the studio and back from the PATH train. I couldn't find a cab and I succumbed to walking, telling myself over and over, "It's good for your fat ass, I mean, it's good for your big bones."

When I got home this afternoon, I was literally famished. So I decided to whip up a delightful little meal which I'll call Salmon Snatchatorri.

A few weeks ago I was supposed to audition for the TV show "Worst Cooks In America" but it didn't happen. If "Worst Cooks" sees this recipe, call me. I know I suck. But a girl's gotta eat.

Salmon Snatchatorri

Ingredients:

1/4 avocado, ripe, chopped (so good but so fattening)

1 tsp light mayo which I borrowed from my roomie (sorry, roomie!)

1 can chick peas (YUM)

a few chops of purple cabbage

a handful of those clear chinese style bean thingies

wasabi almonds (wasabi peas would surely work, too)

hot sauce of your choice

canned salmon

1/4 c. water

2 tsp soy sauce

1 tbsp nutritional yeast

1 tbsp hummus

Directions:

Combine peas, cabbage, bean type thingies, wasabi almonds, water, soy sauce and nutritional yeast into pan. Cover, place on medium flame. Leave unattended. In a bowl, combine salmon, mayo and avocado, mix until it looks disgusting. When the veggies are soft and wilty and cooked (10 minutes or so) remove from flame. Leave stove on for kicks. Scoop out a large spoonful of veggies and place in bowl of salmon mush. Top with hot sauce and hummus. Eat while your cat attacks you and tries desperately to sneak its' paws into your food.

If you love this recipe, check out my Vagina cookies. They're good for you. Just kidding, they're really not. But they do taste good and are virtually STD free.