Friday, December 9, 2011

Rick Perry Is Gay

What has history proven us about politicians who vehemently come out against being gay, gays getting married, gays in the military and otherwise criticizing gays? It has proven that naysaying politician is gay. When I saw the Rick Perry "Strong" video, it occurred to me that Rick Perry must be gay. To make a video like that and put it out there says it all.

We need only look into the very recent past to be able to cite various examples of this. Mark Foley and Jim McGreevey are just two names that come to mind. There are so many others who have been more careful not to openly criticize gays because it's a no brainer - if a politician says that they hate gays, that person is gay, sure as day. This is a sociological phenomenon that occurs in other aspects of life, too. It's a pretty basic concept. If you actually secretly love something (say, men's penises) and you don't want anyone to know that (because, say you're a politician who is married to a woman), then don't say anything about not liking gays. As a matter of fact, maybe even go a little in the opposite direction. Try saying, "Hey, being gay is fine with me." Throw 'em a curve ball.

Now I'm practically turning blue holding my breath with giddy delight waiting for Mr. Perry's scandal to come out. Has he been dating one of his male assistants? Has he been secretly listening to Hall and Oates? Did he do his own interior designing in his office? Come on, media, give us the goods. Stop reporting on Katy Perry and tell us all about Rick Perry. And how he's gay, gay, super gay.

I'd like to reiterate, I love and can usually relate to the gays. They are typically pretty smart, and pretty funny. They usually like my sense of humor. I understand feeling out of place or unusual. Every once in awhile I'll run into the kind of gays I don't like. But I never don't like they because they are gay. I don't like them because they are uptight, they work in corporate America, they pretend to be straight, hide who they are and act snippy and terrible because they're miserable inside. Like the two gay men who live on my floor who have two tiny matching gay dogs. But you can't hide from your sexuality. And you can't help who you love. Anyone who hides from who they are and / or lies about it runs the risk of being simply unlikeable.

And so, if Mr. Perry is gay, which at this point, it's pretty fair to say he probably is, I wish him the best. I hope he can someday come out like a man and admit it, because if it's true, it will eventually come out, and it's better to come out on your own than have it come out for you.

And if he would rather stay in the closet, that's fine, too. But then his best course of action would be to not make any more anti-gay viral videos, to stop dressing like Heath Ledger in Brokeback Mountain, stop deep throating corn dogs on film, and leave the gays alone.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Lol. Thanks for sharing this post. Check out a gay version of the "Shit Girls Say" video.