Sunday, March 28, 2004


I read this story on line about this guy who dressed up in a suit and snuck into a luncheon buffet to get a free lunch that was being handed out to all the employees of some company.

That sounded like so much fun to me. I don't know why I do, but I love to be sneaky and get away with it. I prefer to do it in ways where no one will get hurt by it, but sometimes I screw people over, too. Like the time I broke into the art store below my house and stole $1000 worth of markers and stickers. I was 15. They had it coming. No, I guess really they didn't. But....for the sake of my conscience, those damn old hippie artists had it coming.

I went to see Sonic Youth last summer in Central Park with my friend Gina. We had a great idea to sneak into the concert. Of course, when we got to the gate there were a bunch of security guards everywhere and it probably didn't help any that I was very drunk and also had food poisoning from some sun baked sushi I'd eaten a few hours earlier. We stumbled over to the Will Call booth and the lady asked us who we were and all that stuff. I cooly whipped out my MTV card and said, "My name's Jessica Delfino. I'm here from MTV." They looked down the list and said, "Nope, sorry. No Jennifer Delflicko." Now, that seems smarmy and lame, and it is, especially in person, but during my half of that negotiation, my friend Gina was peering over the list and the ticket envelopes. "Jess," she said in her best british affected accent, "Try under Shannon Doherty." She even pronounced it "Do-hurty." I caught her drift immediately, as that is the best way to be sneaky - with subtlety - and said, "Oh, yes, Shannon." The lady immediately found the envelope and handed it off to us. "Thank you," we said, and went to watch Sonic Youth with Shannon Doherty's free tickets. I'm not sure if it was THE Shannon Doherty or not, but my guess is yes. If she'd have seen us, I wonder if she'd have punched us?

I ended up watching exactly half an hour of the show before vomiting into a cup and being escorted off the premises by security. Those pussies don't know how to party.
And I can easily sneak into a concert, but I can't vomit in secret.

I'd like to have a job where people call me or write to me and challenge me to sneak into things/do sneaky things and then see if I can sneak into them. I used to be very good at it. I could sneak into ANYTHING with a bit of time and some preparation. Now with all these terrorists trying to sneak into parties and stuff, I guess they are really beefing up the security which sucks for me. But, I can still pull it off.

So, give it to me. Challenge me. What upcoming NYC event or place do you recommend I sneak into? E-mail me at or put it on the message board - Make it good, and fun, and make it tough. I will do it and then document it on my site with pics, too. If there's a chance I could get arrested, that might make it funner. But it's not necessary.


I'd like to give my boyfriend, Christopher, an honorable mention for most romantic daytrip ever. Though I do like him and am dating him, I also think he's kind of a jerk, but I want to give him credit for orchestrating a beautiful daytrip yesterday. We took a bike ride on 75 degree Saturday. We smoked pot and rode our bikes across the Manhattan Bridge into Brooklyn Heights, where we spent the day sightseeing and kissing, taking breaks from that only to smoke pot and eat snacks. We ended the day taking pictures of the sunset and the silouhetted Statue of Liberty from an overview. It was definitely one of the nicest times I've ever spent with a boy -possibly the most romantic daytrip I've ever taken with a boy.

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