Touring With the Tburgs
We left NYC very late on Friday - we were planning on leaving at 1 but didn't actually get on the road until about 5 pm. We were running late to the 9 pm load in time for the show in DC. The rush hour traffic kept us from gaining any time and the van was acting funny. As we were driving down the highway in the dark, in the pouring rain, the stereo and the windshield wipers died. Then, we noticed we had no headlights. We pulled into a rest stop and they told us we needed a new alternator. The guy did some fancy fingerwork and was able to set us up for a few miles until the car starting losing juice again. Finally, the van died for good in a parking lot in Mt. Laurel, NJ and we collectively came to the disappointing realization that we were going to miss the DC show. We set up shop at a shitty hotel called the Mount Laurel Inn. The hotel was so grody. There were what appeared to be either vomit or murder stains on the floor and wall and they didn't allow pets, which we immediately disregarded as we made a soft place for puppy family member Emma to sleep. I couldn't sleep all night because I was itching like crazy, which Rachel told me later was probably bed bugs. In the morning, my ex-boyfriend Kurt's mom let us use her AAA to get a tow to the garage. Jason and Dennis, the driver and head road chap went with the car while the ladies and Touching You showered (separately) and ate a hearty breakfast at Bob Evans.
We reconvened at the hotel and decided to spend the day walking around South Street in Philadelphia. It was a really beautiful day and we started driving towards the Ben Franklin Bridge when I remembered an awesome, huge supermarket of a thrift store in South Jersey, not far from Mt. Laurel. So, we went there and bought so much stuff. Jason got kicked out for taking the microphone over and yelling "Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players!" He said he did it to impress Rachel.
We left there and crossed the BF Bridge and went to South Street for the rest of the afternoon. It was so perfect out. It was cool and sunny and the city sidewalks in Philly are actually clean. We ate vegetarian cheese steaks and did some more shopping and then went to North Star to get loaded in. I opened up the show and had a really great set. I sold almost completely out of my CDs. Touching You, I don't want to say he "bombed" because he didn't, but a lot of people I talked to didn't like his set, and we did comment slips at the end of the show, and lots of people wrote negative things about his set. Nothing particular, they mostly wrote things like, Touching You was ASS (underlined twice) and things like that. The Trachtenburgs were great and everyone loved them. My friend Tim from college showed up and saw the end of TY's set and all of the Tburgs. He invited us all to crash at his place in Philly, which we did. In the am, we woke up and went back to South Street where we walked around, bought more stuff, ate at Whole Foods and enjoyed the day. Twice, the Tburgs got recognized by adoring fans and TY got nervous that someone might recognize him and say he sucked.
At the end of the day after all the fun, we slowly trudged back to the van and I said goodbye to everyone. Tears were shed by Rachel and I. She is so adorable. She said, "Mom, Dad, I want Jessica to come with us on tour!" I couldn't go though, because there really wasn't enough room for me to go for the whole trip in the van, it was already super packed without me. Also, I'm booked to perform in Sarasota at McCurdy's Theater from the 20th - 24th of October. But I really did want to go and I know they would have loved for me to come if circumstances were a little different. They said they'd take me on my own two week tour, which I am sure they will someday. I walked away before the van drove off and cried as I wandered down Spruce St. It's almost that time of the month, you know that time, the time where about once a month, for about a week, I bleed out of my vagina. So during that time, a toodle might be a more sensitive issue where it would otherwise be a simple goodbye.
Now, I'm in Philly at Tim's house. I'm leaving for Tampa in the AM and going to do a few open mics in Philly tonight. I'm in a sad mood, I guess, because the T's and TY will be gone for two weeks and I will miss them. They are really like my surrogate family, especially TY. I think the sun shines directly out of his asshole. I've even looked directly into it before and I'd do it again. See y'all in Tampa.