Sunday, December 26, 2004

SOME GOOD ADVICE FOR THE NEW YEAR:
from US NEWS Magazine


Everyone wants to know how to make their life better, aside from murdering their co-workers and/or joining the occult (I mean, going to church.)

US NEWS had some good advice (in addition to some incredibly, incredibly lame advice) but I've done all the straining of the advice and have chosen the ones which make the best sense to ME. (I've also added notes in parenthesis...)

Happy 2005.

HOW TO HAVE A BETTER 2005
According to US NEWS Magazine

START EACH DAY WITH A TO-DO LIST / PRIORITIZE (Rich people do it!)
MEDITATE (Madonna does it!)
ORGANIZE CLUTTER (If you want to...)
DO LESS HOUSEWORK (That's more of a what NOT to do...)
QUIT YOUR DAY JOB (Again, more of what NOT to do...jobs are gay.)
STIMULATE YOUR BRAIN WITH GAMES, LIKE CHESS OR CROSSWORDS (Don't play in the park, those guys are hustlers! They memorize master's moves! Slick, huh?)
GROW A PLANT (MARIJUANA! or, um, a tomato.)
LISTEN TO NEW MUSIC (Visit www.pitchforkmedia.com)
READ MORE (Survivor! by Chuck Palahniuk [author of Fight Club])
FUCK MORE (They say that includes masturbation!)
FIX YOUR FINANCES (They recommend freezing your credit cards in ziplock bags.)
HAVE AN EMERGENCY PLAN (In case of a terrorist attack!)
ORGANIZE YOUR COMPUTER (I think they mostly mean the porn.)
EXERCISE MORE (See Fuck More)
EAT MORE GREENS, MELON, and LESS CARBS and CANNED FOODS (including soda)
GET MARRIED (Awww....)
WEAR A BIKE HELMET (They say it helps.)
HANG OUT WITH NATURE (Go to the cloisters or Vermont)
FLOSS, STRETCH, WEAR SHOES THAT FIT (all good tips)
TAKE VITAMINS (not on an empty stomach!)
STUDY PHILOSOPHY (THINK!)
VOLUNTEER (That means help people for free.)
FORGIVE (Even if you don't want to.)

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