TRUE: FAKE STORY!
I got in a taxi the other day, and the driver was eating a sandwich. So, I was like, excuse me, but can you not eat that sandwich? Can you put it down and pay attention to the road? And he kept eating it. So, I said it again, more loudly, in case he hadn’t heard me the first time. I said, “Excuse me, but can you put down that sandwich?” At that moment, a kid on a bike comes out of nowhere. He slams on the breaks, I smash my face into the glass, and the sandwich went flying all over the car. The thing that I can’t get out of my mind is,
I heard that when suicide bombers kill themselves, they get 100 virgins in heaven. So, how many virgins do taxi cab drivers get? My guess is 8.
DINNER AT MAMA'S
Dinner at Mama's was so very fine
It tasted so sweet, like a 9 dollar wine
Potatoes so soft, like a soft baby's head
with Tomatos so red! Like the color of red!
I sipped upon Fresca, a soda of leisure
for rich chicks who eat artificial sweetner
and talked with a friend who I simply adore
we ate too much food, then we shoved down some more
If it weren't for good food, I would cry so much more
Dinner was free, at least it was for me
A plate of hot food, with the steam on all three
It's cheap and in both of the best neighborhoods
I miss my mom. And dinnertime.