Sunday, February 26, 2006

Out of Body Experience experiences, anyone?

Do you believe in out of body experiences? I've talked to two people who say they have had them. One of those people was a sort of wacky relative of mine, and my instincts tell me I shouldn't believe her, because she seems like the type of person who is just goofy enough to have misinterpreted a dream as an out of body experience. However, perhaps she's just wacky enough that she would have the crazy kind of brain to allow something as insane-sounding as that to happen. Of course, she could have hallucinated the whole thing, and just thought it was real. Acid hallucinations can be very intense, and I'm sure crazy hallucinations are very real seeming as well. I don't know if she's ever tried acid, as a matter of fact, I highly doubt it. But, they can be intense. I speak from experience. From reading about it in books.

The other person who told me she had an out of body experience was a totally normal person. It shocked me when she told me that. It was like, "I thought I knew you, then you go and tell me something like this, and now I'm not sure you're as normal as I thought you were." I've known her for about two years, and the whole time I've known her, she has never done or said anything to make me think she's nutty, or koo koo, or even ditzy. She seems very smart and of sound body and mind. But the way she described it, it almost sounded like she herself wasn't unsure that she might have been dreaming.

I'd think if anyone would be having an out of body experience, it'd be me, on account of all the hallucinogenic drugs I've sampled, and not to mention, I'm an artist, kind of a strange personality and all, and I'd think that I would have at least hallucinated some kind of bizarre thing like that by now. But I haven't even had one lousy flash back, much less any out of body experiences. I've had a few panic attacks, but that's about as crazy as it gets around here. I'd think I'd be a prime candidate for some kooky unexplained phenomenons - I'm up for that kind of shenanigan. I'm up for seeing a ghost, I'm up for floating around town, causing trouble while my body sleeps. I'd write a song about it or something.

Mmmm, on second thought, I don't know if I'd want to see a ghost. I'd probably take a pooper right in my pants. I'm even scared by those really cheesy phony baloney horror movies, like, the ones where the bad guy wears a hockey mask (spooky!) and runs around chopping people's faces off with his long fingernails. I'm sure if some ghost came to visit me, it'd be the scary kind, with one eye ball dangling down and half his ear hanging off, a bloody scalp with half his brain sticking out, like Paxcal in Pet Sematary, one of the scariest movies ever! (It's misspelled on purpose, because in the movie, the sign was supposed to have been written by a child.)

I guess it doesn't have to happen in real life for me to write a song about it. I'd call the song, "Hey Ghosts, Please don't visit me."

Hey ghosts - I don't want no visitors
I don't need no supernatural inquisitors
Grandpa, I miss ya
But I wouldn't want to kiss ya...

Has anyone out there who is not completely insane had an out of body experience? I'd like to hear accounts from Wall Street types and Harvard Grads, perhaps a Brain surgeon or a police officer...not to say that these people can't be insane, they're often even more unusual than they would like to have the rest of the world believe, it's just that it's always artists and mind readers having supernatural experiences.

Well? Anyone normal out there experience anything abnormal?

3 comments:

"Ed" Finkerton Humperfield said...

Do you consider sex with a horse abnormal? Because I don't.

Mark Daley said...

Aside from the occasional green poop, nope. Although if I did have an out-of-body experience, I'd want it to last just long enough to lose some weight, but not so long that I'd died of dehydration.
One time I had an out-of-money experience. And an out-of-gasoline experience.

Ron said...

Yes, I've had an OBE -- out of Body Experience.