LOOKS LIKE WHILE I WAS IN LONDON I MISSED ALL THE FUND!
Sarah Palin seems to have come up out of nowhere while I was in London singing my dirty folk rock songs. I'm bummed I missed out on all the excitement but I'm returning home to see that others have been taking good advantage of this press field day, such as Doug Stanhope who is my new favorite feminist. Go, Doug!
Check it out if you haven't already seen this doozy. Take that, Sarah, you turd!
Never in history has a woman been under more pressure to keep an
unwanted pregnancy than Bristol Palin. She is the teenage daughter of
Alaska Governor & Vice-Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin - a
conservative, Creationist Christian power-vampire and pro-life huckster
who has put Bristol and her un-welcomed fetus at the center of a
politico-religious crusade to stop her exercising her constitutional
right to terminate the pregnancy.
Rather than sit back and impotently bemoan Bristol's tragic, lonely
circumstance, it is time for us - the silent majority - to unite behind
this poor, imprisoned woman and save her from both a tyrannical
household as well as the horrible nightmare of a forced childbirth.
These are not empty words. I, Doug Stanhope, am offering you, Bristol
Palin, the sum of 25,000 dollars so that you can abort your child and
move out of that draconian home. I have also set up a PayPal link so
that others around the world can help increase this amount to ease the
burden of starting out on your own at such an early age.
I was once in a similar situation where I'd accidentally impregnated a
girl and she had to make that same fateful decision that now faces you.
It was easy for her - she didn't have a fascist, oligarch parent, the
entire Republican Party or the sneering eyes of the Christian Right to
contend with, much less a daft, puppet boyfriend who's just waiting for
the cameras to stop rolling so he can bolt like a gazelle.
We made the right choice and rather than end up bitter rivals in court
battles over custody or support, we are great friends who high-five
over our decision and have all the free time and disposable income that
young mothers never know. I now pay it forward and offer some of that
money to you.
You don't need to ruin your future in order to support the
megalomaniacal self-promotion of a mother whose every action is rooted
in a demonic ego and archaic superstition. Don't become victim of the
same pressure that had your brother "volunteering" for duty in Iraq.
Please consider my offer as time is of the essence. You don't want this
child, the father certainly doesn't want this child and the world
doesn't need another wailing mouth to feed.
I empathize with the amount of attention, pressure and possibly
out-right threats you are getting to give birth against your will and I
understand that at your age, you may go through with it no matter how
much you don't want to. Either way, you have inspired me to try to make
Even if you cannot take my offer, I will still use my money or money
donated through this page to pay for at least one abortion for a
disadvantaged teenage girl each year for the rest of my life in the
name of your mother. And in my will, I shall have a good portion of my
estate turned into the Sarah J Palin Abortion Fund that will help girls
from all walks of life from destroying their lives and our natural
resources by having children.
You are not alone, Bristol. There are many of us out here who care.
Please show Bristol you care by either donating or signing the
guestbook to let her know that there is true love for her outside of
her current surroundings.
So as to negate any rumor-mongering that I seek to profit from this, I
have changed the link so that any donations will go directly to
www.lilithfund.org, a group that assists woman who need assistance
paying for abortions. And I'll raise my own offer to Bristol to $50,000
to keep up with the crashing US dollar.
Alright, Doug!!!! Now that's putting your money where your mouth is.