Monday, December 7, 2009

MIDLIFE CRISIS

Things have always happened to me early. I lost my virginity when I was 14. That's kinda early. I ran away from home when I was 15 and never came back, which is kinda early to bust out forevs.

Now I'm just fresh into my 30s and feelin' all like, woah, man, shit, is this all there is? And by "this", I guess I mostly mean writing dingy jingles for a living? I love what I do but let's face it, I'm not living the life I always dreamed. I'm paying my bills, sure, but who isn't, while simultaneously wishing there was more?

I spent the summer pretty cool-like -- I toured the UK in huge festivals alongside Janeane Garofalo, Doug Stanhope. Faith No More, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Pretenders, Grace Jones and tons of others who probably didn't even see me perform or remember my name. Nothing to complain about there. But I have to say it was a drag to return home to the US to where no one really cares. Why should they? They've got Lady Gaga and Beyonce to be in love with. They've got the top pop hits to dance to, why jam out to songs about committing suicide to the song your ex-bf wrote about you, or eating tons of shit as a stoner on Thanksgiving?

Looking back on the way I've spent the last 8 years of my life, I feel kind of like a successful loser. I guess that's not the worst thing in the world -- or is it?

Anyway, happy Tuesday. Or is it Monday? I don't even know any more.

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