Tuesday, February 9, 2010

A Note on Wicked Personal Blog Entries
A trip down memory lane

I used to write really personal stuff on my blog all the time; things about my current relationships, thoughts and ideas of a sexual or romantic nature and more. Don't believe me? Check the archives of 2005 and see for yourself. 

Here's a segment from an old, very dirty, very frank blog entry about orgasms, dated June 2005: 

I've never had multiple orgasms, but I have had two in one day. Never two in one session. It usually takes a few hours to reset, I've noticed, but then again, I've never had a boyfriend who was interested in really focusing and trying to make me have two orgasms in one sitting. I did date one guy who I thought maybe I had a multiple orgasm with, but now looking back on it, I think that I wanted to believe he had, but I was just having a prolonged tingling sensation from the first one. I don't even know if multiple orgasms exist. Some women and men really insist that they do, but I've never met someone who told me that they have multiple orgasms who wasn't insane. And I never believe men who tell me that they gave their past girlfriends multiple orgasms. I think either they are lying or their girlfriends were lying. But I could be wrong. But I'm probably not.

I'm almost embarrassed to know that I wrote that on my blog, once. It's amazing how much one's mentality and reality can change in 5 years. At least I began that entry with a warning to my family members to either stop reading there or not hold me accountable for the stuff they read after that warning.   I should go call my mom really quickly and apologize for putting her through what must have been upwards of 25 years of utter hell. 

Perhaps that type of entry is what drew a lot of my regular readers to my blog in the first place. I also used to write short, ridiculous fiction stories and comedic ramblings, too, so perhaps it was that. Or maybe a slice of each.

Anyway, I don't write a ton of personal stuff on my blog any more. Now and then, maybe I'll drop a line or two that might make ya go, hey? but for the most part, this blog talks about upcoming shows and what's doing in Delfino land. 

I once wrote a blog entry about being irritated with a friend and mentioned said friend by name. They called me and said, "If you ever write anything about me on your blog again, I'm not going to be friends with you." I hope this blurb doesn't count since no names were mentioned this time. It made me think about how my entries were affecting my friendships, though. It wasn't worth it to me to lose that friend, or surely any others, over a corny old blog entry. 

I also used to write personal-ish stuff about my family, and I'm surprised they haven't disowned me yet. My mother said to me, "You better knock that stuff off," and I pretty much did. But I won't say it wasn't fun "airing my dirty laundry" back when I was a little younger, more careless (free?) and untethered by what people would think / do / say. 

I appreciate people's need for privacy and friend's and relatives need for my respect, but I used to like writing wicked crazy shit on my blog. Another friend and I were talking and she said, "It's cute to act crazy when you're young, and people excuse it. But when you get older and act crazy, then you're just crazy." So true!

I had a friend who was a creative but successful and motivated eccentric when I met him. Over the course of a few years, he mutated, and transformed into straight up crazy. The thing about craziness is, it gets worse with age. I was scared that when I got older, I'd morph from creative eccentric into totally insane, but luckily for me, I grew out of crazy for the most part (or changed that in myself) and now I'm a successful, employable, motivated creative eccentric, which I certainly prefer and am thankful for.

There was a time in my life when I would have celebrated my inner craziness. Now I cling to the last strands of it and replay the scenes that are still with me, whenever I miss my early to mid twenties (which is not often). And if and when it goes away completely, I'll be glad to see it go. And if and when it returns due to child birth or senility, I will re-welcome it with open arms. It's just that NYC apartments are small, too small to hold all my stuff and all my crazy. 

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