"I'm Italian" LIVE

at In The Flesh, NYC

This little ethnic gem will be sure to give you gas. In this song, I talk about the importance of respecting my Italian culture and incorporating it into my act, via instruction from my manager. (filmed at Rachel Kramer Bussel's fabulous In The Flesh show) Check it out:

ALSO! My holiday CD, "PERFECT HOLIDAY" is out NOW. You can order it digitally or hard copy, through me. There are only 100 copies in all of existence, and many have been pre-ordered but I still have a few left, so get yours now! The orders go out this week and will be to you before Christmas. Each copy is signed, numbered and has all the lyrics and original artwork drawn by me. Also -- sexy santa alert -- HOT HOLIDAY photos of ME. Can anyone say Christmas cleavage?

Sorry shoppers, the only way to order is via PAYPAL, so send your $10 in, which includes shipping ($15 UK + anywhere else) to jessdelfino@yahoo.com before Rudolph takes a holiday dump on your dreams.

Shipping Options

shipped to US $10.00 shipped to UK $15.00 shipped anywhere else $15.00

ECNY TIME

If you like my musical comedy stylings, please be sure to go onto the Emerging Comedians Awards nomination form and nominate me for BEST MUSICAL COMEDIAN. This is going to be a tough one, as there are lots of great musical peeps out there. You can also nominate SKITS'N'TITS for BEST VARIETY SHOW!

Thanks buddies!

Wanna hear a track from my new holiday EP,

"Perfect Holidays?"

OK...I can never say no to you. Click RIGHT HERE and be transported to a place where the holidays are always perfect (well, my Reverb Nation page, but whatever). And if you like that shit, don't forget to BUY it (instructions on how to purchase below). Make a Merry Christmas for me! I only made 100 of these CDs. There are still some left -- when there are no more left I will let the world know, BELIEVE me.

In the meantime, please enjoy, "You Really Fu(%#d Up This Time".

JD holiday CD "PERFECT HOLIDAYS" is done!

+ ORDER INSTRUCTIONS

Are you dreaming of the dreams set into your head by corporate sugarplum fairies, promising you the bestest holiday ever? With piles of gifts and toys, terrific people who are kind and loving, on a day where the spiced egg nog flows like wine, and the wine flows like wine, too, not because it needs to to keep you from losing your sanity, but because it is nice to relax with loved ones?

[record skipping sound] Well, get with the program, sister or Mister, holidays aren't like that and haven't been since Norman Rockwell's 1950s. This holiday, grasp Murphy's Law by the balls and twirl it around like a lasso, trying hard not to knock over the tree or peg granny in the torso. We are going to celebrate a series of PERFECT HOLIDAYS, even if we have to FORCE them to be that way.

PERFECT HOLIDAYS is Jessica Delfino's third produced CD. It is an EP with 5 songs and 10 tracks, in total. It's short and sweet, the way I hope all our holidays are. And the back cover is TO. DIE. FOR. Just like your sins.

INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF PERFECT HOLIDAYS

1. There are only 100 copies of PERFECT HOLIDAYS in production and many of them were pre-ordered. However, relax! There are still some copies left. Each copy comes with artwork drawn by ME, signed and numbered. These CDs make a great gift for any bitter friends, dark humored relatives or Jessica Delfino fans. To order YOURS TODAY, go to www.paypal.com and LOG IN. If you don't have an account, create one. It's safe, fast, easy and free.

2. Click on SEND MONEY.

3. In the "SEND" box, type the email address: jess delfino at yahoo dot com (replacing at with @, and dot with an actual "dot" - ".") (Sorry if you feel overly instructed, these instructions are meant to be idiot proof.)

4. In the "AMOUNT" box, enter: $10 if you are in the USA. This includes shipping. Enter $15 if you are ANYWHERE ELSE. This includes shipping. You can put more than $10 or $15 if you are rich or generous.

5. This is a purchase of "GOODS" so mark it as that.

6. Click "CONTINUE"

7. Review your payment. Click "SEND MONEY"

8. Sit back and wait for your "PERFECT HOLIDAYS" CD to arrive at your door step, which will be by Dec. 1, 2010. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done.

I wish there were other ways to order the CD. Songs may be up on iTunes in a few, let's see what happens. Also, I may get a payment processing thingy through my website if PayPal freaks you out. But I've ordered hundreds of things through PayPal and nothing bad has ever happened. Also, I'm trust worthy and I don't have the means or brains to steal your credit card information, nor do I want your bad credit and debt.

Thanks so much for those of you who are encouraging me to be demented for a living! Damn, I have a fun life.

Doesn't Ebay know...

...that "hot" means stolen? I mean, come on -- what large corporation, mid-sized web outfit or small time hustler does not know this? Did this gear fall off a truck? Is that why it's so cheap this holiday, Ebay, or why shipping is free? I have a holiday prediction: somebody in marketing is either gettin' fired or gettin' a raise.

TONIGHT: IN THE FLESH sex comedy show

*with free cupcakes*

Comedy Sex Night November 18th at In The Flesh, tonight, all you sexy hump monsters! Info below, see yas there.

FB invite:
http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=114887405233431

Site listing:
http://inthefleshreadingseries.blogspot.com/2010/10/comedy-sex-night-november-18th-next-in.html

IN THE FLESH EROTIC READING SERIES
COMEDY SEX NIGHT
November 18, 2010, 8:00 pm - 10 pm
AT HAPPY ENDING LOUNGE, 302 BROOME STREET, NYC
(B/D to Grand, J/M/Z to Bowery, F to Delancey or F/V to 2nd Avenue, http://www.happyendinglounge.com)
Between Forsyth & Eldridge. Look for the hot pink awning that says "XIE HE Health Club."
Admission: Free
Happy Ending Lounge: 212-334-9676
http://www.inthefleshreadingseries.com

Our popular Comedy Sex Night returns! Featuring Marty Beckerman, Sara Benincasa, Kim Brittingham, Carolyn Castiglia, Jessica Delfino, Matt Koff, Sara Schaefer and Mandy Stadtmiller, Jacquetta Szathmari and Elon James White. Plus special guests! Hosted by Rachel Kramer Bussel (Fast Girls, Orgasmic, Passion). 5 copies of the book Sex: Our Bodies, Our Junk and 1 copy of The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex will be given away. 100 free copies of Sexis Magazine will be distributed. Free Baked by Melissa cupcakes, candy and chips will be served. This is the countdown to the final In The Flesh December 16th so don't miss a very special night!

There'll be free cupcakes and chips and cookies and snacks. Arrive by 7:30 if you want a seat.

Hey all you a$$holes come and listen to us...

Keith and the Girl, episode 1294 with Tom McCaffrey and me-self up now, check it out, if you dare or care, or like to share. It is a really funny episode. I LOL'd through the whole thing. I hope I don't sound like a jackalous hyena, but I'm sure I do. I'll listen to it again later and judge myself so you don't have to.

JD ON TV once again

Yes, it's just a couple momentary flashes of me via my side face and / or bright electric blue pantaloons, yes, it's short and sweet, and yes, it's on cable television which I know many of you don't have or don't watch, even if you do have it. However, it's exciting to me, and it's for a cool fun new product which I actually WANT and therefore, did not feel as though I was selling my soul to the devil or sucking corporate you-know-what. Not to mention we really had a blast filming this commercial, because it was made with a buncha friends, including Carolyn Castiglia and other familiar faces of comedy. Directed / written by Bex Schwartz for VH1 / Microsoft / the video game Dance Central. Fun fact: We used to be in a band together a long time ago with Shauna Lane called, "Hot Little Pieces of Ass". Ah, the good old days.

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

GROSSMALERMAN

Here's the video from that shoot I did a few weeks ago with all those awesome people I told you about, Guy Richards Smit + crew. It was lots of fun and we have since also shot a 2nd episode. But here is the first one, up on FunnyOrDie.com, for you to peep your peepers upon:

GROSSMALERMAN! EPISODE 1 - watch more funny videos

And pre-order a Christmas CD! I have a dream that all 100 of these babies will sell. Let me have my Christmas miracle, will ya? You can pay via paypal.com ($10 shipped anywhere in the US, $15 shipped anywhere in the world) or you can write a check / money order. Email for more details - jessdelfino at yahoo dot com.

We are also looking into some digital distribution options, more details TBA.

Finally: This Thursday will be my last performance in NYC before I go on a 10 day hiatus and road trip, finishing my CD and doing a few shows out of town. Performances this week include:

Today, Tue: I'll be on www.katg.com podcast at 3ish PM.

Tmrw, Wed: I'll be on Alexis Guererros' Entertaining the Barback at Angels & Kings, 8 PM.

Thursday: I'll be at Rachel Kramer Bussel's In The Flesh at Happy Ending, 7 PM.

Then lots of fun stuff is coming up in December, including Skits'N'Tits 2 year anniversary show Dec. 8, Arlene's Grocery with Carla Rhodes Dec. 12, (and that will also be my official CD release party), and lots more crazy shit, so keep in touch and read the blog and my website for more info.

UPDATE on HOLIDAY LP

I'm feeling really excited about this new LP peeps. I have been working very hard on it and it sounds awesome. It's one of the first things I've done in awhile that I'm truly proud of. Remember, there are only 100 of these CDs being made and they are truly unique and special. The 5 songs on the CD are brand new never been heard funny songs about the holidays in my Jessica Delfino style - and get this - albeit demented, they are actually fun (read: clean enough) for the whole family! No shit. That means granny and the kids can hear them as well. They are selling like warm muffins so get yours before they're all gone. Pre order happening NOW o'clock.

These puppies will ship out the last week of November in time for the Jewish stuffs.

If you live in NYC, you are invited to the ordinary Christmas spectacular listening event. More info TBA.

Info below, reposted from my FB page:

Limited Release Jessica Delfino holiday CD with all new demented songs for your holiday party fun! Pre-Order today at paypal.com: jess delfino at yahoo dot com. $10 includes shipping anywhere in the USA. $15 for the UK / rest of the world. Will arrive first week of December (in time for Hanukkah)

Now taking pre-orders for

ALL NEW

limited edition Jessica Delfino HOLIDAY RELEASE CD!

$10 includes shipping anywhere in US

$15 includes shipping anywhere in UK / the world

This is the first new CD I've put out in over 2 years - since "I Wanna Be Famous". I'm into the holiday spirit this year and have been inspired to make this new CD with holiday themed, really demented songs. If you like what I do, you will love this CD. Each CD comes with Jessica Delfino original artwork, and is numbered and signed. There are only 100 of these CDs, so order yours today in time for Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanza, or some other fun holiday you celebrate instead of the ones that everyone else celebrates, Witchmas or what have you. Don't forget to include your name and address on your order, as well as any special instructions (extra licks to the envelope, etc).

CDs will be sent out first week of December so you will get them in time for Hanukkah.

Right now the only option for pre-orders is through Paypal, but that may change so keep checking back here and on the Jessica Delfino Facebook page for updates. Send $10 (US) or $15 (rest of the world) to: jess delfino at yahoo dot com using www.paypal.com.

Other Jessica Delfino style holiday fun includes the handmade ornaments I make out of tampy tampons. It may seem gross and weird, and it kind of is. But they're also pretty funny. I make little mini Christmas tress and little mini star of Davids. They are lovely and sick. $5 on my Ebay page: Den of Delfino. You can read more about my craft endeavors and craftivism on my craft group's blog, "Craftermath NYC".