Monday, February 21, 2011


Today, I review three local businesses in which I set foot into this afternoon on Yelp. Together, the reviews tell a short story of what I did with my afternoon.

1. Regal Movie Theater
3 stars - A-OK

My friend works at this theater and lets me in for free all the time. Now, that's a good theater. In addition, an attendant on a jazzy (scooter) with a great attitude cheerfully chatted me up in the bathroom after I accidentally blocked her route, stating, I could "stand anywhere I wanted as long as it wasn't at an AMC." How's that for employee pride? Finally, I like the stand alone one row one seat which lets me know even though I'm alone at a movie cause my friend ditched me without any explanation, it's OK, and I even get rewarded, with my very own 'solitary independent movie goer' movie throne. How very "Regal", indeed.

2. Max Brenner
2 stars - Meh, I've experienced better

Well, I'd love to write terrific things about this Willy Wonka-esque recreation of a chocolate lover's paradise but unfortunately, I was told there would be a 40 minute wait, 10 minutes after entering, as that was how long it took us to wade through the kiddie pool to the hostess station -- that's right they have a kiddie pool -- a literal pool of unescorted children screaming with joy over the chocolate-themed decor. We didn't have time to wait, because my friend, who showed up for the last 25 minutes of the movie with a great story about how he missed meeting me because he fell asleep, as he stayed up til 6 am reading "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" was heading back to Regal to catch the 3 PM showing of True Grit, so instead we had to hustle over to Cosi to make the most of our 20 minute hang. But I hope to get back to Max Brenner to give it a fair shake, ideally around 8 am on a Tuesday when there is only a 20 or 30 minute wait.

3. Cosi
2 stars - Meh, I've experienced better

Well, I'm normally a huge Cosi fan, what with those bowls of germ-y yet warm bread ends set out in the open for any old collection of fingers to grab, what's not to love? However, this particular Cosi is oddly laid out making for an awkward experience. First, we had to ask the register woman who could barely be bothered to take a minute out from her lame story about her kid what the rules of the place were - how did we get the eating progress going? Should we sit indian style on the floor until someone brought us water? Or should we go seat ourselves at a table and start playing Boggle naked until management called the police? She pointed into the back, boredly grunted a few muddled instructions and launched back into her story to her co-worker. My friend and I wandered into the back and stood around until a man on a unicorn trotted up to us to take our order. I'm sorry, I actually hallucinated that, as I was so hungry and we had stood there for so long. We placed an order, and the man sent us back to the talky bored woman. So we wandered back over to the talky bored woman who was so talky and so bored that she gave the wrong slip to my friend to sign so he had to sign another one. She took our drink orders and mistakenly gave the wrong order to the woman so she made and gave my drink away to someone else. We waited about 15 minutes until our drinks, a coffee and a hot chocolate, were done. On my hot chocolate, the barista swizzled a pair of barely recognizable letters, an S and an I which I imagined were her or her children's initials or perhaps a gang sign. I think she forgot to put the chocolate into the drink, because it's taste resembled sweet dish water, either that or they make their drinks with dish water. My friend and I strolled back to find the only empty table in the joint, where we ate for three minutes together before I walked him back to the theater and we parted ways. I would definitely go back here again!


Jessica Delfino said...

This is a great story!

Jessica Delfino said...

I completely agree. But why did she have to say the woman was making a gang sign in her hot chocolate? Seemed kinda racist or something.

Jessica Delfino said...

That's an interesting point. I didn't mean for it to be racist, but thanks for leaving a comment. I have a few half black sisters, so I'm not a racist, at least not against very adorable halfrican americans.

Jessica Delfino said...

OK, noted. Thanks. I still think it seems kind of racist, though.