Thursday, November 10, 2011

THE MONTHLY VISITOR NEWSLETTER

*issued irregularly*



Ms. Delfino as a giant ukulele - photo by Anya Garrett


Hey Guys!!


I hope you have all had a great Halloween. I marched in the parade dressed as a giant ukulele. I accidentally 420'd before the parade which was a terrible idea, because walking up the street dressed as a giant ukulele with She-Ra to my left and "A TV Dinner" to my right, waving "high" to a few hundy thou peeps will incite a slight out of body experience, and is not recommended, unless you like that sort of thing. It was the scariest Halloween I've had in awhile.


A WORD ON "420'd"


Yeah, I said 420'd. But that's better than what my mom calls it. "Have you been smoking a bone?" she'd ask me when I was a teen. And I'd say, "Well, let's see, mom, my eyes are crossed and are so dry, when I close my eyelids, they fold over themselves like disheveled car floor mats, and I can't form coherent sentences. I'd say that's a big fat yepperooni. But regardless, no one says "smoking a bone" anymore, mom. Not even other baby boomer hippies. So, if you're not going to ground me, then will you please make me a sandwich?" Or at least that's what I said in my head. It sounded probably a little more like, "Mmmeehhmmm ummm nooooo"...


I haven't 420'd in forever. Why do I keep saying that? Because I'm afraid if I write the real thing, the one CIA agent who understands hippie code will come to my door and demand I hand over the pots. That's what 420ing does to you. It makes you paranoid. So if you must smoke it, then at least stay in school, kids. Even if you are going to school high.


Left to Right: TV Dinner, Ukulele, SheRa, like that needed explaining.


Speaking of pot, please enjoy this FREE SEASONAL SONG on the theme of Thanksgiving.


Or, check out a brand new Delfino jam aqui. Or, why not kick back with a fine snifter of brandy and hear a whole bunch of dirty folk songs right on this link right here.


NEWS: 2 SHOWS THIS WEEKEND IN DC / NEW WEBSITE


I'm headed to DC this weekend, Nov. 11th and 12th with the girls of Stripped Stories, so if you're in the Washington, DC area, stop by and hear us spin tales of hilarity and sexiness. You can find out more about the show right at this website here. Live in NYC or Philly but wanna see the show? No problem, chiefs.

I have a new website in the works, and I'm pretty excited about that. More details soon.


JOB LISTING SECTION OF THIS EMAIL


Dependable, creative, funny camera person with pro camera and gear -- ideally one who can also edit -- to shoot a comedic short. This position offers a daily $tipend. If you live in the NYC area and I have described you, please get in touch, and send resume or list of projects you've worked on. Filming will take place late Nov / early December in NYC. JessDelfino at Gmail dot com.


JOB LISTING SECTION OF THIS EMAIL CONCLUDED


OK that's all for now. If you don't already, follow me on Twitter and I will occasionally squeeze out something ridiculous, hilarious, messed up, boring or just plain wrong. Promise.

Wanna see where I'll be performing next or what I'm into between these long lonely updateless stretches? Check the blog.


Until next time,


PS - Next month is effing Christmas already. May I suggest my fun Christmas album, "Perfect Holidays" available on iTunes, which is great for Granny and the kids. Seriously! It's practically PG, except for one song that talks about wanting one thing for Christmas, something related to people's butts. Oh, and do you count talking about marijuana PG? Because I do. Bye!!


1 comment:

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